Betwixt and Between Parallels
by DarkUnderworld
Summary: Donatello is badly beaten and wakes up to discover strange thoughts and visions plaguing his mind. Is he going insane or is it something else? *Side story set in the Morning Star universe* But you don't have to read Morning star to enjoy this one.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello all! so this fic is a side story in the Morning Star universe. But if you haven't read any of that series that's okay you can still enjoy this one. Or at least I hope you will;)**

**A/N: don't own anything but my OC's**

**Please enjoy:)**

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Chapter 1

**Donatello** was shaken awake by a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"Donny, what are you doing in here?" Leonardo's concerned voice asked him. His brother's worried voice laced with a hint of irritation. Donatello peeled his cheek from his keyboard. He felt as if his mind was drifting in a gentle fog, and he couldn't seem to understand how he had gotten in front of his computer. "You should be resting." His brother insisted.

Donatello looked over his shoulder at his older brother and frowned in confusion at the sight of him. _Leonardo couldn't be standing in front of him because his brother was..._His mind struggled to finish the half formed thought as the events of the previous evening slowly came back to him.

They had been tracking a new shipment of weapons that the Purple Dragons had managed to 'acquire' from a top secret government facility. They had confronted the Dragons and had been overpowered by superior firepower and numbers. Leonardo had called a retreat, but not before a few of the gang members had managed to overpower Donatello. He had been beaten unconscious, but his brothers had managed to get to him before he had been gravely injured.

His brothers had dragged him bruised, bleeding and unconscious, back to the lair and tended his wounds the best they could. His injuries hadn't been life threatening, just deep bruising to his arms and legs, a few bruised ribs, a small bump on his head and a sore jaw.

He had awoken to a massive headache, but found that he had been unable to rest and so he had decided to try and find out who the weapons were going to be sold to. He had begun tracking suspicious monetary activity of some of the lead criminals around the city.

"I know I should be resting." He said to his brother. "But, I've managed to track a large amount of money that has been transferred several times to and from an offshore account. I was bounced around through various banks and through different servers before I finally managed to discover that the account the money is originating from belongs to someone here in New York. I don't have a name, but with the buyer being here, the Red Dragons will have an easy time unloading them."

His brother frowned at him. "Red Dragons? You mean Purple Dragons?" His brother said to him, his voice laced with concern. "You need to get some rest Donny." His brother said to him softly.

He nodded slowly, wondering why he had misspoke the name of one of their biggest enemies, seconded only by the Shredder. After all, he had spent 11 of his 26 years battling the Shredder and the Purple Dragons.

"Yeah, I think I am going to go lie down for a bit." He said as he stood and groaned, his body protesting the movement.

His brother grabbed him under his arms and around his carapace, holding up most of his weight. "Careful Donny." Leonardo said soothingly. "You took a pretty good beating last night."

It was then that he really felt the bandages and deep bruising that was beneath his clothing_. I can't be this hurt._ He thought to himself. He knew that his body would heal almost any and all wounds within moments. _So why am I still injured?_ He wondered. He clutched at his head at the strange thoughts that had just invaded.

He gently pushed away from his brother. "I'll take it easy." He said as he slowly made his way to his room.

He walked through the kitchen where Michelangelo was pouring himself a bowl of cereal. Michelangelo paused and looked at him. "You okay Donny?" His brother asked him. "I thought you'd still be sleeping." His brother said to him.

"I'm heading to bed right now Mikey." He said as he turned to head to go to his room.

Master Splinter entered the kitchen.

Donatello stumbled back in horror at the sight of his father. He hit the ground hard jarring his injuries. He gasped in pain, but kept his shocked gaze locked onto his father's face. "It...you're..." He couldn't bring himself to say _dead_. His father had been dead for...His mind screeched to a halt at the thought. His father wasn't dead, he was alive and well. He clutched at his head as agonizing pain ripped and tore through his mind.

Michelangelo was talking softly to him and asking Master Splinter to help while he fetched Leonardo.

Donatello moved and winced in pain. "Be still my son." Master Splinter said comfortingly. "You were injured perhaps worse than we first thought." His father said as he crouched by his side and touching his forehead gently.

"I'm okay." He protested.

He felt two sets of arms lift him up. He closed his eyes for a moment as his world swam and became indistinct around the edges before snapping back into focus.

"What's goin' on in here?" Raphael asked as he grumpily walked into the kitchen. Raphael stopped when he saw that he was supported between Michelangelo and Leonardo. "Donny?" His brother asked as his eyes sought out Master Splinter.

"Donatello needs to rest." Master Splinter advised as Michelangelo and Leonardo helped him to his bedroom.

He groaned in pain as his brothers helped him to lie down. Leonardo crouched down and studied him. "Donny, can you remember if you were struck at any time in the head?" His brother asked seriously.

Donatello thought about last night and frowned. It was indistinct and fuzzy as if he couldn't quite remember what had happened, but he had more of an impression instead.

"My head feels fine Leo, just a little bump that's all." He told his worried brother. "But my jaw hurts more, so I must have taken a few shots to the face as well. I just need to sleep, Master Splinter startled me, that's all."

His brother frowned at him as if he didn't quite believe him, but was willing to let it go for now.

Donatello closed his eyes, shutting out his brother's worried face.

He fell into a deep dreamless sleep and was awoken by something heavy sitting on his chest. He opened his eyes and stared into dark green cat eyes. "Hello Klunk." He said to his brother's cat. "Why are you sleeping here, where's Mikey?"

The old orange cat just blinked at him and went back to sleep. Donatello pet the soft fur, causing the half asleep cat to begin to purr. Donatello gave a half smile of contentment and drifted back to sleep. The strange image of another set of cat ears, these ones white, floated through his sleepy mind.

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**Michelangelo** watched Donatello's sleeping form from the doorway. Leonardo walked up beside him to stand just behind Michelangelo's shoulder. "He woke up for a bit, but he fell asleep again." He told his older brother softly.

Leonardo gave a curt nod, his face lined with worry. "I'm worried about him Mikey." Leonardo said softly.

Michelangelo frowned and nodded. "You should have seen his face Leo. He went white when he saw Master Splinter, like he was seeing a ghost."

"I know. He was acting strangely when he woke up as well. He acted as if he was surprised to see me. But I got the impression that it wasn't because I was in his lab, but it was as if...I don't know Mikey, like he hadn't seen me in a long time." Leonardo said with worry. "I don't even know if that makes any sense."

Michelangelo put a comforting hand on his big brother's shoulder.

Raphael came up behind them. "Donny'll be fine." He said. "He probably had his brains rattled around a little and when he wakes up, he'll be fine, so stop worryin' about him." Raphael said gruffly, a look of concern rippling over his features before being replaced by his easy, mocking smile.

Leonardo looked at Raphael and then nodded. Michelangelo turned his attention back to his sleeping brother and hoped that what Raphael had said was true.

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**Donatello** hefted his bo and twirled it around. It had been two weeks since he had come back to the lair a beaten mess, but he was finally able to walk and move around without any pain, which meant that Master Splinter wanted him to continue his training now that his injuries had healed.

He began slowly moving through a series of katas. His muscles pulled and tightened but gave him no pain, which he was thankful for. His movements became quicker and surer as the familiar patterns flowed through his mind.

Master Splinter watched him with approval. "Raphael, take your place, Donatello you as well." His father ordered.

Donatello walked up to stand opposite Raphael. Raphael looked at Master Splinter. "You sure Master Splinter? Maybe Mikey should spar with Donny. He'd go easy on him." Raphael said with a taunting grin.

"Raphael." Master Splinter said in a severe tone.

Donatello bowed to his brother, a thread of annoyance spiking through him at his brother's taunt.

Raphael bowed in return, straightened and charged. Donatello brought his bo up to block his brother's sais. He fell back two steps as his brother pushed him. Donatello pushed his brother away and tried to kick him in the stomach, but his brother was faster. Raphael had dropped and swept his foot out catching him and tripping him. He fell to the ground, his carapace hitting the hard stone floor with a crack.

He felt his brother's sai against his throat as he acknowledged his brother's victory.

Raphael reached out and grabbed his hand, helping him up. "You okay Donny?" Raphael asked him as he got to his feet.

Donatello let out an irritated breath and nodded.

"Leonardo, Michelangelo." Master Splinter ordered motioning for his brothers to take up their places opposite each other.

Donatello sat down on a bench close to the wall as he watched his brother's spar.

Master Splinter came and sat down beside him. "I do not want you to push yourself Donatello. If your injuries still bother you..."

"They don't bother me Master Splinter." He said sullenly. "I'm just," He closed his eyes. "Weak." He said softly.

"You are many things Donatello, but weak is not one of them." His father said to him softly.

He stood up angrily. "I am weak Master Splinter. I am the weak one. I'm the one who always gets my ass handed to me when we fight. Even Mikey beats me, and he doesn't even try!' He said angrily. "And because I was so weak I couldn't protect..." His mind furiously grasped at the thought, but he couldn't complete the sentence, because he wasn't sure who it was he couldn't protect. He threw his bo down in angry frustration and strode from the room.

He walked through the lair and into his lab, closing and locking the door behind him. He walked over to his computer and threw himself into his chair. He stared at the black screen for a few minutes as indecision filled him. He finally powered up the monitor and tower and began searching the internet.

It was the first stray thought in the past two weeks that did not feel like his own. He had thought that the confusing thoughts had vanished, but it was obvious that they hadn't. The idea that there was something wrong with his mind had worried him immensely, but he had begun to relax, attributing the strange thoughts to the beating he had received.

He contemplated the random thought. Besides himself, there was no one that he hadn't been able to protect that he felt any particular guilt towards. His family had been attacked on numerous occasions by many different enemies, and at times they had not been able to get away unscathed. But the emotion that had accompanied the thought had been filled with so much regret and grief, that it had almost choked him.

He began diagnosing himself. He wasn't hearing voices, and he wasn't paranoid. The only problem was that it was as if he was remembering something. He would almost think they were someone else's memories, except the thoughts had centered on his family. He rubbed his face in frustration. The problem was that the memories were like a half remembered dream. It was right there in front of him, but he couldn't seem to grasp it.

He frowned in thought. Perhaps he was thinking about the thoughts wrong. It was possible that he had been struck in the head and somehow his conscious thoughts were mixing with his subconscious ones. He had enough nightmares and dreams for any number of the errant thoughts to have come from.

He felt his shoulders relax. As long as the thoughts did not get any worse he would be okay. And besides, he had gone two weeks without what he would term an 'episode', so whatever it was, may be triggered by high emotions, such as anger or stress.

The subconscious mind was a very complex state that psychologists and scientists still argued over. If this was all that was happening he knew that whatever the cause, it would probably disappear on its own, or he hoped it would.

He heard a gentle knock on his door. He looked at the clock and realized he had been sequestered in his lab for over 3 hours.

"Donny, Master Splinter wants to talk to you." Leonardo's muffled voice said through the door.

Donatello sighed and stood. If his brothers had wanted to talk he could handle that a little better than having to talk to his perceptive parent.

He opened the door and walked past Leonardo. He glanced at his brother's face which was full of worry. "I'm okay Leo." He said as he walked to his father's meditation room. He found his father sitting on the mat in the center of the small square room.

"Please sit my son, and tell me what bothers you." His father said to him gently.

Donatello sat on the mat and crossed his legs. "Nothing Master Splinter." He said as he stared at his hands, which were sitting in his lap. He did not want to try to explain to Master Splinter that pieces of his subconscious were drifting into his consciousness while he was awake. His father lifted a hairy eyebrow in question.

"You were injured Donatello, but losing to an enemy can harm one more than just physically. You need to heal mentally as well."

"I know Master Splinter." He agreed. And he did agree and he was determined to heal whatever was wrong with him.

"You and your brothers have been defeated before Donatello. You have been injured before, and you have never been upset that you had not fought better. Out of all of your brothers you are the one who hates violence the most. You are the one who will only use violence as a last resort. So what has so upset you? You said that you could not protect someone. Who was it that you could not protect?" His father asked him.

He had to stop himself from shrugging. "What if I was protecting an injured brother?" He asked. "I am the one who could be responsible for getting me and my brother killed." He said softly, not answering his father's question.

His father let it go and nodded. "You train just as hard as your brothers Donatello, but you know that violence is not always the answer. You have been responsible for saving your brothers lives many times, not through your ability to fight, but through your ability to use your mind."

"Thank you, Master Splinter." He said as he stood.

"Dinner should almost be ready Donatello." His father said to him.

"I'm not very hungry. I think I am going to go to bed early." He said as he left his father's meditation room and slowly made his way back to his room.

Leonardo stopped him on the way. "Donny, you know that you are a valuable member of this team and this family, right?"

He looked at his older brother. "I know Leo." He said as he gave his brother's shoulder a squeeze. "I know." He said as he walked to his room and closed the door gently behind him. He flopped down on his bed, rolled onto his side, and went to sleep.

_He dreamt of a woman with glorious russet, golden, and copper curls, who looked at him with beautiful moss green eyes. "Who are you?" He asked her. She looked at him over her shoulder, her face half hidden in shadow as she was swallowed up by the darkness that surrounded her._

Donatello woke up to his stomach growling. He slid from his bed, still half asleep. He swore he could almost feel his teeth tingling he was so hungry. He made his way to the kitchen, stumbling slightly as he tripped over something, banging his shin. He withheld a curse and managed to make it to the fridge, opening the door so that the light illuminated the kitchen.

He searched the fridge for leftovers and spotted a package of raw hamburger sitting on a plate thawing. _Michelangelo must be making spaghetti tomorrow. _Donatello thought to himself as he looked at the bloody bag the hamburger was sitting in. A strong image flashed through his mind of him biting into a pale neck, his teeth sinking into her flesh, as warm, coppery, blood filled his mouth.

Donatello looked in horror at the plate of raw hamburger that was now in his hands.

"Don't drop that Donny, that's tomorrow's dinner." Michelangelo said as he quickly snatched the plate from his grasp.

Donatello jumped in surprise. "What are you doing up Mikey?" He asked his brother as Michelangelo put the package of hamburger back in the fridge and pulled out a plate of leftover pizza.

"I was watching _Wolfman vs. Dracula_ on TV." He said with a shrug. "Hungry Donny?"

Donatello's stomach growled in protest. "Yeah." He answered as he tried to get the image of blood out of his head. _What is wrong with me? _He asked himself. It was the first time an image had invaded his mind as opposed just random thoughts. This bothered him on a whole new image had been so clear, the sensation so real, so visceral that it felt as if it had been more reality than dream.

He took the plate of pizza to the table and settled himself into his seat. Michelangelo frowned at him. "Why are you sittin' in Raph's spot?" He asked him.

He looked at where he was sitting and frowned, then shrugged. "Raph isn't using it." He replied as the image of Raphael trapped within the confines of a large crystal flashed painfully through his mind.

Donatello closed his eyes and took a deep breath. That was two separate images within mere moments. He swallowed down his fear. What he was seeing was not real, none of it was. Donatello frowned as he stood, an idea suddenly coming to him.

"You okay Donny?" Michelangelo asked him with concern.

"Yeah Mikey, just thinking." He said as he walked away from the table.

"I thought you were hungry?" Michelangelo said to his retreating back, food being the last thing on his mind at the moment.

Donatello walked into his lab and closed the door. He sat in front of his computer for a moment as his mind spun with the possibility that he was not seeing dreams, though it was possible some of the more unexplainable ones were dream fragments, but that what he was seeing were glimpses of the future. He was more willing to believe this theory than to believe that he was going insane.

He knew time travel was possible and he knew that his father was very intuitive. Master Splinter at times had premonitions and dreams that warned of imminent and future dangers that would harm their family. Donatello himself had never seemed to be able to tap into this particular phenomenon, but knew it to be real.

The reason he had this sudden revelation stemmed from the last flash of 'dream' where Raphael was trapped within the crystal. Raphael was older than he was right now and bore heavy scars across his face; scars that his brother did not have.

He began to recall every remembrance and every flash of image that had inexplicably rolled through his mind and categorized them by sense, sensation, probability and clarity.

It was several hours later before he had categorized his thoughts and visions and when he had completed his task sought out his father who he found in his meditation room.

He slowly opened the door and stood there until his father asked him to enter.

"What troubles you my son?" His father asked in his calm, even, calm as Donatello settled himself on the mat across from his father.

Donatello contemplated for a moment where to begin and decided to start at the beginning. "Ever since the night of our confrontation with the Purple Dragons, I have been having...I suppose strange thoughts and now visions." His father's furry eyebrows rose but remained silent as Donatello continued. "I had thought at first that somehow my subconscious thoughts were somehow drifting through into my consciousness, like remembering something but being unsure if you had just dreamt it or not, because these strange thoughts were just that, thoughts."

"Like your surprise at seeing me?" His father asked him gently.

Donatello nodded. "I thought...for just a moment..." Donatello found that he could not continue with his thought.

"That I had passed?" Master Splinter asked softly.

Donatello nodded. "But that was the strange thing Master Splinter, I did not think that you were dead, but when I saw you, that is when the thought jumped into my head. I truthfully didn't know what to think, because I have had other thoughts that did not make any sense. But last night I had two visions, one almost right after the other and because of these visions I began to make sense of what I was seeing and thinking."

"And what was contained in these visions my son?" Master Splinter asked him curiously.

"Vision might not be quite the right word." He began, "It was more like a memory. But it wasn't a memory I have experienced. But it was everything, sight, sound, smell, feelings, everything."

He father looked at him with concern. "Tell me more of these 'memories'." His father prompted.

Donatello tried to forget the one where he had plunged his tingling teeth into the alabaster neck of an unknown woman and instead focused on the last 'memory' he had experienced.

"I saw Raph, encased within a giant crystal. I don't...I don't know if he was still alive or..." Donatello swallowed and continued. "But I felt...worry and sadness and I felt as if I had not talked to Raphael in what felt like an eternity."

"So what is it you believe these...visions to be?" His father enquired.

"In that vision, memory, whatever you want to call it, Raph was older, over thirty, and scarred pretty badly across his face." Master Splinter remained silent as Donatello continued. "When I noticed this I had a thought that perhaps what I am seeing is flashes of the future; our future. Perhaps someone is trying to warn us that something bad is going to happen, and that we have to stop it." Donatello said emphatically.

Master Splinter nodded his head thoughtfully. "And so who is sending these thoughts and images?"

"Probably me, somehow. Perhaps I found a way to communicate with my younger self...uh me, right now." Donatello said as he shifted slightly. "So I was thinking that if I was able to go into a deep trance, that I may be able to have a clearer image of these thoughts and perhaps I could even communicate with my older self to find out what I have to do."

"Have you told your fears to any of your brothers?" Hs father asked him.

Donatello shook his head. "At first I didn't know what was going on, I was scared that...I don't know, that the bump to my head might have caused some permanent damage of some sort." Donatello swallowed down his fear that he was grasping at straws and that he really was going insane. He roughly pushed this thought aside as watched as his father studied him before nodding.

"Be careful my son. Sometimes the answers you seek are not the ones to the questions you have asked." His father said warningly.

Donatello paused but nodded his head. He knew his father would be slightly hesitant regarding his explanation of his strange behaviours, but he did not blame his father. After all, his theory did not encompass all of his strange thoughts and visions, but they accounted for almost all and so he was going to go with this theory.

Donatello crossed his legs and closed his eyes, clearing his mind and breathing slowly and deeply, putting himself into a dream-like meditative trance.

_He opened his eyes and looked around him. A beautiful grass filled glade stretched out before him, while purple clouded mountain peaks surrounded him. A woman sat overlooking a cliff, sketching silently as she took in the beauty of the vista before her._

_Purple, black, white and gold butterflies playfully danced around her, landing on her shoulders and getting caught in her golden, russet and ginger locks._

_Donatello recognized her from the dream he had last night. He had asked her name, but she had only vanished into inky shadows._

_Donatello approached her slowly. She didn't acknowledge his presence as he stood beside her. "Who are you?" He asked as the woman continued to draw._

_She remained silent. He knelt down and gently touched her shoulder, his eye catching the black butterfly she had drawn on her sketchpad._

_She looked over at him, her green eyes sparkling, a smile on her beautiful face. Donatello felt his breath catch and his world tilt. He felt as if he had searched his entire life to find her, and he had finally found her._

_"I am your soul mate Donatello, never forget that." She said softly as she stood showing him the sketch that she had done._

_He stared at her unable to speak, unable to form a coherent thought as the butterfly peeled itself from the white page._

_The sketchbook fell from her fingers, her face going pale as she closed her eyes and fell. Liquid darkness swift and merciless consumed her where she stood._

_"No!" He shouted in horror as the world darkened around him. He looked around frantically at the cavern that surrounded him. He could hear screams of agony drifting in on the parched, heat filled breeze. A figure peeled itself from the surrounding shadow, her steps even and sure. He could not make out her features, draped as she was in shadow, but her voice was low, husky and rolled along his skin like a sinful invitation._

_"You are mine Donatello, for now and forever, until the end of time." She said as she lifted a pale arm. The black butterfly that had peeled itself from the book fluttered near his right shoulder landing on his bare skin. Searing pain blazed through his shoulder as he looked down at the butterfly as it buried itself beneath his skin. He screamed in pain, clutching at his burning shoulder as chains shot out from the darkness, binding and wrapping him, tightly. He tried to struggle, to take a breath to scream, but was unable to. The chains that bound him were suffocating him._

_The darkened figure of the woman stepped more into the orange tinged light, her face still deep within shadow. Orange light caressed a blackened feathered wing and glinted off of a curved ram horn. Donatello swallowed down his terror as eyes containing the red fires of Hell stared back at him._

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**Thoughts and opinions are always welcome!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Alrighty all, chapter 2 this should confuse everyone, but hopefully in a good way;)**

**Thank you to I Love Kittens Too for reviewing chapter 1:)**

**Please enjoy!**

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Chapter 2

**Leonardo** ran into his father's meditation room at the sound of Donatello's screams and Master Splinter's shout for help.

Leonardo slid open the screens and looked at the scene before him in horror. Donatello writhed on the tatami mats, his hand clutching his right shoulder in pain, his nose and ears bleeding as Master Splinter attempted to hold him down.

Leonardo ran forward hoping to be able to restrain Donatello and make sure he didn't hurt himself or Master Splinter.

He pushed Donatello's shoulders down onto the mat, the sound of running feet upon hard stone echoed behind him indicating that both Michelangelo and Raphael had heard the same shouts that had alerted Leonardo to the situation in the meditation room.

"Leo, what's goin' on?" Raphael's voice, rough with worry, asked him as Leonardo shook his head, indicating that he didn't have any idea what was wrong with Donatello.

Donatello's chestnut eyes suddenly snapped open, blinking at Leonardo in shock and confusion.

"Donny are you okay?" Leonardo asked as he looked his brother over as Leonardo helped Donatello to sit up.

"What happened?" Donatello asked, his voice shaky and uncertain.

"We hope," Mater Splinter began, "That you will be able to tell us."

Donatello attempted to stand but Leonardo and Master Splinter both encouraged Donatello to stay seated.

Michelangelo darted from the room and came back a few moments later with a damp towel for Donatello."Donny?" Michelangelo asked in worry as he handed Donatello the towel.

Donatello looked at the towel as if uncertain what he was supposed to do with it. "You're bleeding from your nose and ears Donny." Leonardo told his brother softly.

Donatello's eyes widened in shock as his eyes darted towards Master Splinter whose face was full of concern and fear.

"Do you remember what you saw my son?" Master Splinter asked gently, not wanting to push Donatello, but obviously wishing some answer to the question.

Leonardo took the towel from Donatello's shaking grasp and began to gently wipe away the blood that covered his brother's face.

"I..." Donatello thought about the question, lines of concentration appeared on his face as he attempted to recall what he had seen. "I don't..." Donatello shook his head, closing his eyes. Pain ripped across Donatello's face as he clutched a his head, his nose trickling more blood from his nostrils.

"Stop Donny, Stop." Leonardo begged as he looked at his father in concern. Master Splinter moved forward to place a comforting hand on Donatello's shoulder, but Donatello instead clutched it in pain.

Donatello's eyes shot back open as a trickle of sweat began to roll down his brother's forehead. "A black butterfly." He managed to choke out.

"A butterfly?" Raphael asked in confusion.

Donatello nodded his head. "A black butterfly." He agreed.

Leonardo shared a look with Master Splinter who nodded at his unspoken question.

"Come on Donny," Leonardo said as he motioned with his head for Raphael to help him. "I think you need to rest." Leonardo said as Raphael helped to pick Donatello up off the floor.

All three were silent as they walked to Donatello's room, gently lying him down fully clothed on his bed.

Donatello looked exhausted, as if remembering the image of the butterfly was too much for him. He closed his eyes and fell into a deep sleep.

"Should one of us stay here?" Raphael asked, his voice unusually soft and careful.

"We need to find out what happened." Leonardo told his younger brother. "But I would like someone to watch him."

At that moment Master Splinter slowly made his way into the room carrying a small bowl containing a pungent, but not wholly unpleasant odour.

Master Splinter walked to Donatello, dipping a clawed finger into the amber-green liquid he brushed a line of it across Donatello's forehead. "He will not dream this night, nor will any others be able to enter his dreams." Master Splinter said softly motioning for all who had entered Donatello's room to follow him back to the meditation room.

"He will be alright alone for a few moments." Master Splinter reassured Leonardo when he meant to stay.

Leonardo acquiesced and followed his father and Raphael back to the meditation room where Michelangelo was pacing back and forth in agitation.

Michelangelo's worried and inquiring eyes shot to them as they entered.

"He rests Michelangelo." Master Splinter said to Michelangelo as their father motioned for them all to sit.

Once they were all settled upon the mats Leonardo was the first to inquire. "What happened Master Splinter?"

Master Splinter was silent a few moments before he spoke. "I know you all have noticed Donatello's altered behaviour since the night of his attack," Leonardo exchanged a look with his brothers and nodded as Master Splinter continued. "It seems that Donatello has, since that night, been experiencing strange thoughts and images that have been invading his mind."

"Like when he freaked out when he saw you Master Splinter?" Michelangelo asked.

Master Splinter nodded. "He thought that I was dead, though he says he was not actively thinking, nor had he thought I was dead, just that at the moment he saw me, this thought came into his mind and he easily dismissed it because he knew it to be untrue."

Leonardo exchanged another worried look with his siblings before turning his attention back to his father who continued to talk. "This thought disturbed him greatly, and there have been other thoughts, though Donatello did not share these other thoughts with me. However, we do know that Donatello was upset during that one day during training when he mentioned that he was not able to protect someone; someone very important to him."

Leonardo nodded, remembering Donatello's agitation and his hurried explanation to cover up what had slipped out.

"He came to me this morning with a theory about what had begun happening to him. He says that he had two actual visions, though he called them 'memories', last night. Donatello believes that these visions and thoughts are the result of our family somehow being in danger, and that someone is trying to warn us through him."

Leonardo felt his eye ridges rise in surprise. "Do you believe him Master Splinter?" Leonardo asked his muscles beginning to tighten in readiness of an attack.

"I am not sure my son. I feel that Donatello hid much of what he has been experiencing from me. What he chose to tell me was that one of these 'memories' contained the image of Raphael, older and badly scarred, trapped within the confines of a huge crystal of some sort. Donatello was unsure whether Raphael was alive or dead, he was quite understandably anxious about this flash of 'memory'. It was then he decided that his future self must be trying to communicate with him somehow, so that this future does not take place."

Leonardo thought about Master Splinter's words, unable to decide what to believe.

"So what happened to him in here?" Raphael asked.

If Raphael was at all bothered by the information that in a possible future he may be dead, Raphael didn't give any indication.

"Donatello wished to meditate," Master Splinter began answering Raphael's question." To reach out to his possible older self. I do not know what he saw or what happened, but one moment he was calm and in a meditative trance, the next he writhed on the floor as if he were in pain. That is when his nose and ears began to bleed. Perhaps what he attempted to do was too much for him; perhaps someone or something did this to him; or perhaps, and I hesitate to point this out, Donatello's altercation with the Purple Dragons has brought about his present state of distress."

Raphael growled low in his throat. "So what you're sayin' is that you think Donny's noggin' was bashed hard enough to do actual damage?" He asked incredulous.

Master Splinter winced at Raphael's blunt words but nodded in agreement. "It is a possibility I cannot reject."

"But wouldn't Donny know if...if something were wrong with him?" Michelangelo asked hesitantly, his voice worried.

"I believe that Donatello did in fact believe this to be true, but hoped it was not." Master Splinter replied solemnly.

They all remained silent for a few moments until Leonardo ventured a comment. "Did you sense anything Master Splinter, another presence perhaps, trying to do harm to Donatello?" Leonardo asked, hoping that his father had in fact felt something, because it was easier to deal with a possible outside destructive force than to deal with a medical condition where he would be helpless to do anything for his brother.

Master Splinter pursed his lips in thought, slightly exposing his incisors. "I did not feel anything in particular except an unusual amount of psychic strength coming from Donatello himself."

Leonardo felt his hopes slump.

"But..." Michelangelo began, "Who'll help Donny?" He questioned in a small voice. "Donny's the one who fixes everyone... and everything"

"Who doctors the doctor?" Raphael questioned as they all looked to Master Splinter for guidance.

"I shall speak to him when he wakes." Master Splinter said as he dismissed his sons.

Leonardo stood and headed immediately for Donatello's bedroom. He found his brother just as he had left him, soundly sleeping with the pungent aroma of whatever Master Splinter had spread across Donatello's brow.

Leonardo pulled up a chair and studied his brother. His bruises had mostly faded, but his brother's skin looked slightly more pale than it should have been, though considering what his brother had just suffered, it was not too surprising.

Donatello lay on his left side, his right shoulder covered by nothing but a thin blanket and the sleeve of his t-shirt. Leonardo reached out, gently pulling down the sheet and lifting his brother's sleeve enough to expose the flesh of his shoulder to his sight.

Leonardo did't know what he expected. He supposed he had hoped to find some sign of why his brother had clutched at his shoulder in pain, but his brother's skin was free and clear of any indication of harm.

Leonardo pulled up the sheet and sat back, disheartened, his mind full of dark thoughts and worry.

* * *

**Donatello** opened his eyes and looked around in confusion as he peeled his face from his keyboard wondering why he had fallen asleep in front of his computer again.

"You aren't awake." A familiar voice said to him pleasantly.

Donatello looked in shock at the figure that was cloaked in the shadows of the room.

"And you aren't dreaming," The voice continued. "So that junk Master Splinter put on your forehead isn't doing anything but stinking up the joint." The figure stepped into the dim light and Donatello stared in shock at himself.

"You're me." Donatello said as he quickly stood, his computer chair rolling back and hitting the table behind him.

"Well...Yes and no." The other him said vaguely as he looked down at himself. His doppelganger was dressed exactly as Donatello was, blue jeans and a white t-shirt. "This is the form your little brain has given me." His other self said as he growled, his clothes shimmering until he was wearing a black suit with wide purple pin striping, and a black fedora with a purple band. His doppelganger looked down at himself and smiled. "We pulled this look off very well I think." He smirked as he pulled at the cuffs, "Of course you were trying not to become me at the moment, but whatever." He said with a wave. He let go of his cuffs and his clothing changed again so that he was wearing black leather pants, a black t-shirt and a long leather trench coat that nearly touched the ground. His mask changed from purple to black as well. "There, that is better." He said with a grin that exposed sharp canines.

Donatello stumbled back in horror as he remembered the flash he had of biting into a pale neck and gorging himself on the woman's blood. "You! You were the one who..." But the other him was already shaking his head.

"Nope that was all you." His dark clad self said with a grin. "How do I explain this?" He asked rhetorically. "Your brain has to work overtime to give shape to my form, and even when you manage to come up with _something_, you always get it wrong. So your brain takes the easy way out and makes me look like you. Although I will admit to a certain extent I am _part _of you, however, our relationship is... complicated." He said with a dark grin. "Unfortunately whatever happened to us has made it so that I can't tell you what is going on, because I don't know either. Of course I know more than you, not much but a little, but more importantly, I remember what is true, which is more than I can say for you."

"What are you talking about?" Donatello asked his other, darker self.

"I have no idea." His dark self said with a shrug as he threw himself into the chair Donatello had vacated, rolling himself up to the computer. "Purple Dragons, really? This is what you think is so important at the moment?" He asked with incredulity.

Donatello nodded looking over his darker self's shoulder. "Yes." He affirmed.

"Why?"

"What do you mean why?" Donatello asked in amazement. "That shipment of weapons needs to be stopped and the weapons need to be destroyed." He told his darker self who raised an eye ridge in unconvinced surprise.

"If you say so, but I would think that finding the meaning of this would be more important." His darker self said as he pointed at the screen. A black butterfly fluttered out from the screen. Donatello stumbled back in shock. The butterfly landed on his darker self's shoulder vanishing into his clothing.

His darker self shucked his coat and pulled up the right sleeve of his black t-shirt revealing the butterfly fixed to his skin like a tattoo. His darker self tapped his shoulder. "This is important. You have to remember what this means. Oh, and tell Master Splinter not to put that crap on your forehead anymore." He said seriously.

Donatello woke up, his eyes flying open as he clutched at his right shoulder. He lifted up his t-shirt to see if the butterfly was tattooed on his skin, but found his shoulder to be unmarked.

"Donny?" Leonardo's concerned voice asked him gently.

Donatello looked over at his older brother in confusion. For a moment he wondered why Leonardo was keeping a vigil at his bedside until he remembered the events that had occurred in the meditation room.

"How are you feeling?" Leonardo asked, his voice gentle and full of concern.

Donatello thought over the question before answering. He rubbed his forehead rubbing away an oily substance that smelled strongly of lemongrass, sage and a few other unidentifiable odours. He tried to remember what he had been dreaming of, but found that he couldn't. The image of a black butterfly entered his mind before quickly vanishing.

"I'm good Leo." He told his worried brother as he slid from his bed, his brother stopping him before he was able to fully stand up.

"Master Splinter wants to talk to you Donny." Leonardo told him softly.

Donatello nodded. "Okay." He said, but his brother held his hand to Donatello's plastron.

"Donny, I know that you have been...experiencing some things that you haven't wanted to tell us about..." Leonardo paused as if waiting for Donatello to protest or fill him in on what he knew, but Donatello remained silent, waiting for his brother to continue. "Just...if you ever need to talk, I'm here to listen." Leonardo told him earnestly.

Donatello closed his eyes, the image of Leonardo trapped within the confines of the same type of crystal that held Raphael flashed through his mind. He felt tears of sadness prick his eyes. "Thanks Leo." He replied, his voice filled with emotion. He pushed his brother gently away to go and speak with his father.

Leonardo let him walk away and he was thankful for this. He found his father sitting in his meditation room.

"How are you feeling Donatello?" Master Splinter asked him.

Donatello let out a sigh and sat on the tatami mats in front of his father. "Master...father, what if...what if I am going insane?" He asked softly.

Master Splinter slowly stood and walked over to him and kneeling down in front of him. "We are a family Donatello, and we all love you. We will get through this together." Master Splinter said reassuringly.

Which meant that his father believed that he was going insane. Donatello nodded glumly as he stood. He looked towards the door and noticed three quickly retreating shadows.

His shoulders slumped as he realized that his brothers had heard his agonizingly asked question.

"Donatello?" His father asked.

"I think I would like to be alone for a bit." Donatello requested softly as his father looked back at him with concern, but finally nodding his permission.

Donatello felt as if his legs were weighted down with lead as he slowly made his way back to his lab, where he spent the next several hours researching brain injuries.

A brain injury, specifically intracranial pressure would account for his nose and ears bleeding. Donatello did not have access to an MRI or a CT scanner, so he had to try to narrow down his prognosis by using his symptoms and the location of his cranial contusion.

The problem however was that the only symptoms he seemed to have were psychological as opposed to physical. His pupils dilated, he wasn't vomiting, didn't have motor control problems, dizziness, headache, blurred vision, or any other symptoms of a brain injury.

Donatello closed his eyes in frustration.

"Hey Donny." Raphael's voice came from his shoulder startling him.

His eyes flew to his older brother who was looking at him with a mixture of worry and irritation.

"Mikey says dinner's ready." Raphael said with a frown as he studied the notes that Donatello had been making.

Donatello looked down at his notes and at the black butterfly he had doodled into the margin. Donatello swallowed down his horror as he saw multiple butterflies covering the empty spaces in his notes.

Donatello dropped his pen as if it had burnt him. His heart clenched in horror as he swallowed down the bile that surged up his throat.

"Donny?" Raphael asked gently, which infuriated Donatello to no end. He stood up quickly knocking back his chair which rolled a little bit away before stopping on its own. Donatello frowned in confusion as he stared at the chair, a feeling of déjà vu settling over him. He walked over to the chair and rolled it back into his spot. "I'm not hungry Raph." Donatello said as he pushed the chair back again, wondering why it wasn't hitting anything, but knowing that there had never been a table behind him.

Donatello caught the look of worry that flashed over Raphael's face before being hidden behind a blank mask. "Kay." Raphael said as he moved to leave his lab.

"Raph?" Donatello asked thoughtfully.

"Yeah Donny?" Raphael asked as he looked over his shoulder in question.

"Do you ever remember there being a table of some sort behind my computer chair?"

Raphael frowned and then shook his head. "No, why?" He asked gruffly.

"I don't know." Donatello said thoughtfully as he rolled his chair back and sat down in front of his computer.

Donatello was unsure of how much time had passed before Leonardo entered his lab, a plate of food in his hands.

Donatello's stomach did a sickening, stomach clenching roll. "Go away Leo." He grumbled as he wrinkled his nose in disgust.

Leonardo stopped dead in his tracks. "Donny, you need to eat." Leonardo insisted softly. "You haven't eaten anything all day."

Donatello stared at his computer screen, not really hearing Leonardo's words anymore, focusing intently on his computer screen.

Donatello knew that memories were formed in the hippocampus which was part of the temporal lobe, which was also responsible for auditory perception.

Leonardo placed the chicken and rice dish near his elbow and he swallowed down his immediate response which was to wretch. He covered his nostrils and pushed the plate away. "Leo, I can't eat this stuff anymore, you know that." He said in irritation as his eyes continued to scan his computer screen.

"I'm sorry Donny." Leonardo said gently. "I'm sure we can find you something different to eat." Leonardo's calm, steady voice, broke through his concentration as he turned and looked at his brother who was looking back at him with a blank face that could not hide the small signs of horror that were seeping through.

Donatello frowned in confusion as he looked at the plate of chicken, rice and vegetables_. _His nose wrinkled in disgust again._ It's my favourite dinner, cooked just the way I like it, so why does the thought of eating it send a wave of nausea through me?_ He wondered in confusion. _What do I want to eat? _He questioned himself as the image of warm blood taken from a pale, willing neck entered his mind overpowered him with need. His throat grew dry, as his mouth salivated for the one and only thing that would ever quench his thirst.

Donatello closed his eyes and took a deep breath. _It's not real. None of it is real_. He thought to himself as he opened his eyes and stopped Leonardo from taking the plate away. "Just leave it." He said in a small voice that he barely recognized as his own.

Leonardo gave him an assessing look, smiled a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes and quietly left the room. Donatello swallowed down his worry and turned his attention back to his computer screen, steadfastly ignoring his sudden thirst.

* * *

**Leonardo** pasted a fake smile on his face, turning and leaving Donatello's lab as calmly as he could; even though every instinct in his mind screamed for him to run as fast as he could to get Master Splinter. He could feel his fake smile being replaced with a look of horror, the blood draining from his cheeks as his heart beat rapidly in his chest.

Leonardo darted into the kitchen. "Where's Master Splinter?" He asked Raphael and Michelangelo who were both cleaning up the dinner dishes.

"Master Splinter went out, why?" Raphael asked, finally looking at Leonardo over his shoulder.

Raphael let the plate he had been drying slip through his grasp to shatter on the floor unnoticed. Raphael's face paled. "Is Donny...?" Raphael swallowed as if he couldn't finish the question.

Leonardo realized that for some reason Raphael thought that Donny had either gotten worse or...died. "He's..." Fine was not the word he would use to describe his younger brother at the moment. Instead he said. "Still working at his computer."

Raphael's pale worried features snapped back into their normally irritated lines. "Jeez Leo, you nearly gave me a heart attack." Raphael said in irritation as he bent down to pick up the pieces of the broken plate.

Michelangelo looked from Raphael to Leonardo and back again. "What's going on Leo?" His baby brother asked quietly, fear for Donatello thick in his voice.

"Raph, why did you think…?"Leo let the sentence hang, not wanting to worry Michelangelo.

Raphael shrugged. "I read a bit of what Donny had written, something about secondary injuries and statistics about them causing death days or even weeks after the initial injury."

"What!" Michelangelo yelped as a mug crashed to the floor beside Raphael who was just picking up the last pieces of broken plate.

Raphael glared up at Michelangelo who had paled. Leonardo glared at Raphael for opening his big trap and worrying Michelangelo, but of course Raphael was still too busy glaring at Michelangelo.

Leonardo closed his eyes and took a steadying breath. "Have a seat Raph, Mikey." He said gesturing to the table.

Raphael finished cleaning up all of the broken pieces of dinnerware and put the broken bits in the trash before settling into his seat.

Michelangelo shifted nervously in his own seat as Leonardo folded his hands together on the tabletop.

"So what'd Donny do that got you so spooked?" Raphael asked him.

Leonardo let out a sigh. "He told me that he couldn't eat the food I had brought him anymore, and that I knew that he couldn't eat it."

"But, it's his favourite." Michelangelo protested.

"So did Donny go vegan when no one was payin' attention?"Raphael asked in irritation.

Leonardo shrugged. "He seemed to snap out of it and told me to leave the food, but...when I first put the food by his elbow it was like the smell made him physically ill."

His brothers were all silent a moment before Michelangelo spoke. "What secondary injury?" He asked softly.

All eyes turned to Raphael. "I don't know." Raphael said with a shake of his head. "All I know is what Donny wrote down. Something to do with the damage continuing after he was smacked in the head. There were a bunch of words that I couldn't understand, let alone pronounce." Raphael paused for a minute before he continued. "And butterflies. Drew a ton of those black butterflies all over his notes. Thing is he didn't even know he was drawin' 'em, not till he looked and then he dropped his pen like it bit him."

"So what do we do?" Michelangelo looked to Leonardo as if he knew the answer to his question. But the problem was, he didn't. Leonardo opened his mouth to try to give his brother an answer, but he snapped it shut when Donatello walked into the kitchen, the plate of food in his hands. He had eaten some of it, but the rest went into a Tupperware container that went into the fridge.

"Where is Master Splinter?" Donatello asked softly.

"He went out." Leonardo answered as he stood.

"I'm okay Leo, I'm not going to fall over." Donatello said bitterly as he shuffled through the cupboards looking for something."Where's the coffee?" Donatello asked as he opened another cupboard and finally finding the coffee began to make himself a pot.

Leonardo could barely watch his brother without a sick feeling clenching at his heart and gut. Leonardo slowly sat back down in his seat. "How long do you think you have Donny?" Leonardo asked softly.

Donatello began pouring a cup of coffee and stopped mid pour. He finished pouring himself a cup and walked to the table taking the empty seat beside Michelangelo. He cupped his hands around his cup as if he was trying to warm his hands and seemed to collect his thoughts before answering Leonardo's question.

"I don't know." Donatello answered. "Physically, besides the bleeding ears and nose, I have not deteriorated since the injury. So it is possible that whatever has caused the bleeding or secondary injury may be healing on its own. However, that being said, I do know that my memory is beginning to fail." Donatello took a deep breath. "I believe my temporal lobe may have been damaged; specifically my hippocampus. This is the part of my brain that is responsible for new memories and old ones. I don't know how much further my memories will deteriorate. The worst case scenario would be that I might at times, not remember who you are, or who I am, much like Alzheimer's." Donatello concluded bleakly.

Leonardo felt himself pale. He couldn't think of anything to even say in comfort to his brother because Donatello was the one who would have thought of every probable conclusion before coming to them with such grim news.

The silence in the room became oppressive. Donatello stood then taking his full coffee cup with him. "Don't tell Master Splinter yet. I'll tell him when he gets back." Donatello requested.

Leonardo nodded swallowing down the lump that had formed in his throat.

"I should probably call April. Did Master Splinter go there I don't want to interrupt him if he did." Donatello asked as an afterthought.

Leonardo frowned. "Who?" He asked in confusion.

"April." Donatello said slowly. "You know, our friend April O'Neil, red hair, green eyes, known her for over 10 years, married Raph's best friend Casey Jones, they just had a...baby." Donatello frowned in confusion.

"Unless you've been sneakin' out without Master Splinter's permission, I have no idea who you're talkin' about." Raphael said with a shake of his head. "And I ain't never met anyone by the name of Casey."

"Donny?" Leonardo looked at Michelangelo and Raphael who both looked as confused as Leonardo felt.

"I know we know her...Don't we?" Donatello said as he clutched at his head in pain. Donatello dropped his coffee mug as he threw back him head and screamed in agony. Leonardo leapt from his chair, knocking it over as he rushed to his brother's side, catching him just before he slid to the ground.

"I've got you Donny." Leonardo said soothingly as Michelangelo, avoiding the broken pieces of glass, helped manoeuvre Donatello from the kitchen and back to his bedroom.

"Mikey, call Master Splinter, and get me a hot towel." Leonardo ordered as he helped Donatello to lay down.

Michelangelo nodded and dashed from the room. Leonardo looked at Donatello's pale face, a small trickle of blood seeping from one nostril. Leonardo scanned his brother's room and managed to find some Kleenex under a pile of papers. He lightly dabbed at the trickle of blood. Donatello's half glazed chestnut brown eyes looking at him.

Michelangelo stumbled in a moment later with a hot warm towel which Leonardo put across Donatello's forehead.

Michelangelo whispered that Master Splinter was on his way. Leonardo nodded as Michelangelo ducked out of the room leaving Leonardo alone with Donatello.

"How do you feel Donny?" Leonardo asked gently as he attempted to keep his alarm and anxiety from leaking into his voice.

Donatello's only response was to groan in pain and close his eyes. "What happened?" He mumbled.

"You were talking and then...you collapsed." Leonardo replied softly.

"I remember I was talking...what was I talking about Leo?" Donatello asked in confusion as if he couldn't remember.

"It was nothing Donny." He told his bewildered brother, who finally nodded and seemed to fall asleep.

* * *

**So thoughts, opinions, what did everyone think?**


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you to I love Kittens too for reviewing the last chapter! **

**hope evyeryone enjoys this one, warning it is a little steamy;)**

* * *

**Chapter 3**

**Donatello** looked at the woman who stood in front of him. She was bathed in moonlight which turned her gold, copper and russet hair silver. "Who are you!" He asked her desperately.

"I am your soul mate Donatello, never forget that." She repeated the same phrase as she had answered the last time he had seen her in his dreams. She vanished then, as if the dream had been cut off unexpectedly; the strong scent of lemongrass and sage burning in his nostrils.

Donatello opened his eyes. He peeled his face from his keyboard in irritation as he heard the sound of the living room TV turned up as loud as it could possibly go. He rolled his computer chair back in annoyance as it struck the table behind him.

Donatello frowned at his chair and the table, his shoulders slumping as he realized that he was still dreaming. The sweet smell of citrus and sage and a few unidentifiable scents still drifted through the air assaulting his nostrils.

He stumbled from his lab intent on turning off the TV and going back to sleep. Because even if this was just a dream, he felt exhausted.

He grimaced as he saw himself lying on the couch. His other self lounged on the lumpy sofa in black jeans, black turtleneck and black leather trench coat, a black fedora pulled down low over his eyes, partially obscuring his black mask.

"It's you again." Donatello grumbled as he walked further into the living room.

His other self took up the remote and hit a button, pausing whatever it was he was watching. "You were supposed to tell Master Splinter not to put that crap on your forehead anymore." He growled as he sat up.

Donatello took a few more steps towards the loveseat needing to sit down before he fell down.

"You shouldn't be that tired you know." His darker self pointed out as Donatello slumped into the loveseat that was positioned diagonally to the couch

Donatello shrugged as he ran a tired hand down his face. If he was going to dream of something it would be nice to dream of something nicer, and of someone less irritating.

His darker self continued. "You want to bet it has something to do with what is behind that door." He said as he jerked his thumb towards a door that lay behind the couch.

There was a dull thud and a thump that echoed through the living room. Donatello went to stand but his darker self indicated for him not to bother.

"You can't open it." He said with a shrug.

"How do you know?" Donatello asked sceptically.

"I just do." Was his cryptic reply.

Donatello sighed and stood anyway, stumbling towards the door. He placed his ear upon the metal surface and quickly jerked it away when he heard a thud of something hitting the ground hard.

Donatello reached down and grasped the handle, but it would not turn. "What's behind here?" He asked his darker self, somehow expecting that he would have the answers that Donatello did not.

"The better question to ask would be; is that door locked to keep whatever is behind that door out, or is it to keep you locked in?"His darker self asked.

Donatello frowned in frustration, but reluctantly walked away from the door and back towards the loveseat. "Who are you anyway?" Donatello asked as he sat down on the loveseat again.

"Dark Donatello." He answered. "At least, that is how you used to think of me."

"Used to?" Donatello questioned.

Dark Donatello just shrugged and turned his attention back to the TV. Donatello looked at the blank, black TV screen. "Have you ever heard the saying that the body remembers what the mind does not?" His dark self asked as he pointed the control at the TV. There was sound, but Donatello could not even begin to identify what the sound was, and the screen remained blank.

"I haven't forgotten anything." Donatello said as he added, "Not yet anyway," under his breath.

"Haven't you?" Dark Donatello asked as he pointed at the TV again. Donatello watched the screen intently wondering what his darker self was talking about.

Donatello fell then. Sucked into the black void of the TV as his mind tumbled and swam through icy darkness until sensations wholly unfamiliar to him flooded his senses.

Darkness surrounded him. His eyes were open, but he was unable to see anything within the inky dark that surrounded him. He reached out into the darkness and encountered someone close to him. He meant to pull back his hand in shock, but found he was unable to. His hand instead moved along warm, soft skin, his touch exploratory but purposeful.

He felt panic begin to well up from deep within him. He couldn't see who was near him, but he wanted to so badly that it was a nearly physical pain.

He had never felt skin like what he was touching now. It was soft like velvet and warm to his touch. He wondered then if he was touching a human, because that would be the most logical assumption. His body moved of its own volition closer to the source of the heat. He could feel the warmth rolling off of her skin, he was standing so near to her. That she was female he just knew. He felt a fission of awareness and desire roll through him.

_What am I doing? What am I doing?_ He thought to himself in horror as he realized that he was naked and so was the unknown woman he held a little away from his body. His mind reeled in fear and trepidation. He didn't understand what was going on or why the sensations that were beginning to flow through him felt so familiar.

He buried his hands in her silky tresses bringing her body closer to him, flesh touching flesh. _I need to see her._ He thought to himself. He needed to see who he was crushing to his chest as if she was the most important person in the world to him.

His mind thrashed in his dark prison. _I need to see_! Donatello screamed to himself desperately. His body was moving and acting of its own volition as if he were no longer in control and a stranger was acting for him.

_ I need to see! I need to see!_ He pleaded in his head, desperate panic filling his mind. He needed to be able to understand his actions and the feelings that were beginning to surge to life within him.

The sticky cloying odor of Lemongrass and sage began to dissipate

He buried his beak in her neck and breathed in her soft flowery scent. It wasn't a flower he was familiar with; it wasn't rose or lilac, but something else, a sweet yet somehow leafy flower.

It was then that he felt gentle hands brush across his cheeks, arms wrapping around his neck as a silken cheek brushed against his own.

Donatello felt himself sigh in contentment as his voice growled out a pleasure filled groan of need.

Desire was not something Donatello had ever thought about. Not really. He could acknowledge that he was male, but as there were no females of whatever they were the likelihood of being able to consummate any sort of relationship was never thought about or discussed between all of his brothers. He had never met a human woman who had not been trying to kill him and had never touched a human at all unless it was in an act of violence.

The thought of holding something as delicate as a human female in his arms was ridiculous. Even more ludicrous than this thought was that a human female would ever allow a creature such as himself to even be near her, let alone touch her, and especially not do what his hands were doing right now which was cupping the mounds of her ass, crushing her tightly against him. His hardened cock pressed between his plastron and the taunt velvety smoothness of her belly.

He reeled back in shock, or at least his mind did, his body was perfectly content to stay exactly where it was, not that he blamed his body one bit, but still, the disconnect between his body and mind was distressing.

A small feminine hand caressed his cheek, her other hand trailed its way down the side of his body and he groaned with need.

He moved his face from where it was buried in her neck and sought out her lips.

She kissed him passionately then. As soon as he kissed her he realized that he didn't care if this was a dream or not. Soft lips that tasted of the sweetest honey explored his own as his hands traveled down exposed flesh, the flowery scent of her skin filling his senses as he moved from her mouth to nuzzle her neck, gently kissing and licking the sensitive area. He heard her moan in pleasure at his ministrations which sent a wave of lust and need spiking through him.

He needed her.

He knew this with as much certainly as he knew the Earth was round and the sky was blue. He knew that the woman who was in his arms was _his _and that he was _hers_.

He blinked and her face came into focus. Pale velvet skin, moss green eyes, pink cupids bow lips and long glorious russet, gold and copper curls greeted his eyes.

* * *

**Leonardo** looked at Donatello with worry. Their father had come home from gathering a few supplies from the surface to help Donatello. Master Splinter believed that Donatello's mind may be calmed by an aromatherapy treatment, and since Leonardo had no other ideas, agreed with his father.

Donatello had been sleeping peacefully and Leonardo had left him to go and work on his katas while Donatello had some much needed sleep. The lair was quiet everyone having already made their way to their rooms to try to get a little rest after the events of this evening. Even Raphael had been oddly quiet and had sought out his bed not too long after he had finished cleaning up the dinner dishes with Michelangelo.

Michelangelo had watched a little TV and had gone to bed as soon as Master Splinter had returned.

It was while he had been in the middle of his training that he had heard a noise.

He listened intently wondering what the noise was that he had heard. He slowly walked from the training area listening for a repeat of the noise that had first alerted him.

He heard the noise again, a soft muffled moan that came from down the hallway where all of their bedrooms were located. Leonardo ran to Donatello's room, thinking that the noise could only have come from him.

Leonardo entered Donatello's room and saw his brother twisted within the confines of his sheets. Leonardo dashed to the bed trying to wake his brother, thinking that he had to be in the middle of a nightmare of some sort.

He shook Donatello's shoulder whispering for his brother to wake, but he did not respond to Leonardo's efforts to wake him.

"Come on Donny. Wake up!" He said to his brother who continued to thrash even though Leonardo had untangled Donatello from his bedding.

It was then that Leonardo noticed that Donatello's room didn't smell like lemongrass and sage anymore. Donatello had managed, sometime during his struggles, to wipe the oil from his forehead.

Leonardo took one more worried glance at his brother and went to go find his father. His foot stepped on a piece of paper that was lying on the floor, and he hastily picked it up, absently shoving it into his pocket before running from the room.

* * *

**Donatello** stared at the woman he loved. His thumb lightly traced the thin line of the scar that crossed her cheek. Donatello remembered that Leonardo had given her that scar.

He growled low in his throat at the sound of her moan of pleasure as he parted her legs, finding her wet with need he plunged a finger into her warm depths. He felt her hand grab his cock and he groaned in pleasure. He pushed her down onto the soft cool grass as his ministrations pulled another moan of pleasure from between light pink, cupid's bow lips.

He wanted to be inside her so badly that he burned with the need of it. But he couldn't, not yet.

The light ruffle of her feathered wings filled the night air as the smooth glide of the silk bedding pressed beneath her. He felt his canines tingle with bloodlust as he scraped them across the sensitive skin of her throat. He could hear the quick beating of her heart moving hot, power filled blood throughout her warm body. He could feel her body beginning to tighten, she was so close to the edge, just waiting to tumble over with a scream of ecstasy. He pulled his finger from her warm depths and moved her white locks away from her neck. His fingers moved up to traced the black butterfly that graced her left cheek, just halfway under her eye.

Pulling back his lips from his teeth he bit into the side of her neck, the first pulsing gush of blood filled his mouth sending wave after wave of power filled, sweet coppery liquid rushing down his throat.

She rolled him over onto his back, his carapace sinking into the soft satin sheets, the sheer black curtains that surrounded the black wooden four poster bed fluttered slightly. She rose up above him, black feathered wings spread out wide, red flight feathers catching the light as her silver curled horns glinted in the moonlight. The trees rustled gently in the wind as she leaned over and bit his neck. He gasped as his lifeblood was pulled from his body in an agonizing torrent of pain which rolled into a violent flow of pleasure that had him screaming into the night.

Donatello's eyes shot open as he sat up panting, his skin soaked in cool sweat. Eyes wide he looked over into the concerned faces of Leonardo and his father. Master Splinter's oil drenched fingers pulling away from his forehead.

"Donny?" Leonardo questioned.

"You were having a nightmare my son." His father said to him gently.

Donatello clutched at his head wiping the sweet smelling oil from his forehead. "Get out." Donatello whispered in a barely audible voice. The emotions and feelings that were crashing around him were too much to handle. Being ripped away from his lover had sent a nearly physical pain to assault his body, heart and mind.

He doubled over, pain slicing through his head as embarrassment and confusion rose up within him. He flinched away from his brother's comforting touch. He didn't feel like being comforted at the moment.

"Donny..." Leonardo began.

"Please, just...just get out." He said desperately as Leonardo looked as if he was going to protest when Master Splinter put a reassuring hand on his brother's shoulder indicating that they should leave him alone.

He watched them leave the room calling out to his father before he left. "Don't put that stuff on my forehead anymore." Donatello said as his father's bushy eyebrows rose in surprise.

"We will discuss this later Donatello." Was all his father said as he gently closed the door behind him.

Donatello frowned at the door but turned his attention to more pressing concerns. He slid from between his sheets and looked at the wet stain that covered his crotch. He groaned in embarrassment. This had never happened to him before. He had of course heard of a wet dream, but had never experienced one. The thought that his brother and father were right there when he was experiencing this sent a new wave of mortification through him. His only consolation was that his brother and father believed he had been having a nightmare. It may have started off as a nightmare, but it ended up being anything but.

He slid out of his clothing and put on a fresh set. He bundled up his clothing and his bedding and trudged to the laundry room, thankfully without encountering any members of his family. He grabbed a spare set of bedding from the hall closet and dumped it in a pile on his bed before heading to the bathroom.

He needed a shower.

He closed the bathroom door shut behind him and started up the shower, watching the clear liquid swirl down the drain for a moment before stripping off his clothing and stepping into the slightly cool shower.

He still felt over warm and flushed, and he hoped that the chilly water would cool him down. He washed the sweat and other liquids from his body, trying and failing to not think about his dream. He closed his eyes as the soothing water washed over his skin. His skin felt overly sensitive, as if it was clamouring for the soft touch of her warm hand.

Donatello swore he could still smell the soft scent skin and feel the warmth of her body pressed up against him. Desire, fast and sharp roared through him like a hungry beast that would never be sated. He stumbled back into the corner of the shower stall and slowly slid to the floor.

Worse than the desire to have what he never could, was the overwhelming feeling of loss that surged through him. He knew that what he had was just a dream. It was nothing more than influences and pieces of his everyday life that had come together to make a dream that had felt real at the time, but whose effects would fade within moments. And yet at the same time it hadn't felt like a dream. It didn't make any sense, but it had felt completely and absolutely real, even now.

He pulled his knees up to his chest and buried his face in his arms as he let out a great heaving sob. His salty tears mixed with the fresh water that ran down his body as sob after heartbreaking sob was loosed from between his lips.

He felt as if his heart were breaking. He had been ripped away from the woman he loved. He knew this with absolute certainty, but he also knew that this woman did not exist. She was only a dream, a fantasy, and yet he was in love with her.

He knew the woman he loved was the one with the golden hair, and yet he had not reacted with shock or fear when the woman he loved was replaced by the demon. Although his action of biting into the demon's neck and drinking down her blood, had not been abhorrent to him at the time either.

_I am going insane._ He thought to himself in agony as he pulled himself into an even tighter ball of misery and continued to weep brokenly.

* * *

**Raphael** had been sleeping but had heard the commotion coming from Donatello's room. He had rushed to Donatello's doorway only to be shocked when Donatello politely, but firmly told his father and brother to get out of his room. Raphael had ducked back into his own room and watched his father and brother retreat to Master Splinter's meditation room, their voices worried, low and hushed.

Raphael watched as Donatello took all of his bedding from his room. Raphael waited for Donatello to come back, which he did, carrying a fresh pile of sheets, only to leave again and head towards the bathroom.

Raphael eased himself from his room and listened as he heard the shower turn on. He silently contemplated the closed bathroom door for a moment before turning and slipping into Donatello's room.

Raphael looked over the piles of books and magazines that were piled in haphazard towers that threatened to fall at any moment. His brother's room couldn't be termed neat, but it was not a disaster like his own room was.

Raphael didn't know what he was looking for as he scanned his brother's room. He picked through a few of his brother's notes but didn't find anything of interest or importance. He had already gone through Donatello's lab notes, not that he had understood even half of what Donatello had written, but he was looking for clues to tell him that Donny wasn't going nuts and that he hadn't damaged his head somehow.

He couldn't quite explain it, but he a this feeling that Donatello was perfectly healthy and sane. Though there was a small part of Raphael that recognized that he may just be in a state of denial because he couldn't accept that his brother was going crazy.

Raphael's eye caught a folded, crumpled piece of paper that looked to have been balled up, tossed, and then smoothed out again. It was partially buried under a pile of papers on his desk.

Raphael quickly grabbed the piece of paper, folded it up, and shoved it hastily into the pocket of his sweats. He had been snooping long enough and Donatello tended to take very short showers. He quietly slinked from Donatello's bedroom surprised that the shower was still on in the bathroom.

He quietly made his way back to his room, closing his door, turning on a flashlight and sitting down at his desk, moving a pile of clothing out of the way as he did this. He didn't want to be interrupted while he was looking at what he had taken from Donatello's room. He wasn't sure if it would be anything even important. For all Raphael knew it was grocery list or some complicated formula he was working on before the attack by the Purple Dragons.

He quickly unfolded the paper and read the first line.

_Hypothesis: Getting messages from my future self?_

_ -__**Evidence For:**_

_ -Flash of Raph encased in crystal. Older (early 30's?), more scarred. Blind?_

_ -Leo encased in same crystal. Mikey?_

This last line had been squished between that and the next line as if it had been added later.

_-Master Splinter passed away. _

This next line made Raphael's heart clench in grief. He couldn't imagine a world where his father wasn't in it.

_-Golden/copper haired woman_

_ -why did she draw a butterfly?_

_ -why does she keep saying she is my soul mate and not to forget?_

_-Who couldn't I protect? brothers? Her? _

_-__**Evidence Against:**_

_ -Black Butterfly?_

_ -genus, taxa?_

_ -Butterfly effect?_

_ -Who is __She?/they_

_She and they_ were underlined several times. Raphael frowned at this but continued to read the little ticks that were under _She_.

_ -White haired demon_

_ -how am I hers?_

_ -Blood- Why do I bite her?_

_ -Dark Donatello_

_ -What do I call him now?_

_ -computer chair..._

_ -Dreams?_

_ -insane?_

That was the end of the list. Raphael frowned. The 'evidence against' list read like a jumbled mess of thoughts. Almost like trying to write down a dream. They tended to make perfect sense while dreaming the dream, but no sense when you woke up.

He understood then that Master Splinter had been right. Donatello was keeping a lot from them. There were a few things that bothered him about the list. No, that was a lie, there were _a lot_ of things that bothered him about the list. It was obvious that Donatello was having some pretty out there dreams.

Raphael folded up the sheet of paper and then unfolded it. He searched his desk under the meagre light of the flashlight and finally found what he was looking for. He took up the pen and scribbled at the bottom of the page.

-_Who are April O'Neil and Casey Jones?_

_ -are they real?_

_ -Is April the She?_

He looked at the added lines with satisfaction and folded up the piece of paper, putting it back in his pocket he turned off his flashlight and opened his door. Across the hall Donatello's door was still open, the pile of sheets still sitting in the middle of his bed.

He slowly eased out of his room and listened to the quiet of the lair. He could still hear the shower on. He walked downstairs to main floor bathroom and saw Leonardo pacing back and forth in agitation outside the closed bathroom door.

"There's another bathroom you know." Raphael observed as Leonardo's head shot up, looking at him with wide, worried eyes.

"Donny's been in there for over half an hour." Leonardo said as he stopped pacing.

"So, leave the guy alone Leo." Raphael said with an unconcerned shrug.

"He had a nightmare, Raph and..." Leonardo began but Raphael cut him off.

"So he needs to clear his head. He's fine Leo, go get some sleep and you can find out in the morning what Donny dreamt about. You think bugging him tonight is going to help him?" He asked reasonably.

Leonardo's shoulders slumped slightly and nodded reluctantly. "You're right." Leonardo finally agreed. "Night, Raph."

"Night Leo." Raph said as he turned and walked back to his own room closing the door, but not quite all the way. He waited 10 minutes before opening his door again. He always kept his door well oiled so that Leonardo and his father would never hear it when he snuck out of the lair when they thought he was sleeping.

He walked down the hall and down the stairs to the bathroom on the main floor.

He turned the knob on the door and found it to be unlocked. He slipped inside. The fact that Donatello had been in the shower for almost an hour bothered him. Donatello was the king of the 5 minute shower. In, wash, and out.

The bathroom was cold and no steam covered the mirror. He could see his brother hunched in the corner of the shower stall, head buried in his arms, knees brought up to his chest. But this wasn't the worst part. Donatello was crying, great heaving sobs of pain filled misery.

Raphael swallowed down the lump of worry in his throat and approached the shower slowly, giving Donatello time to yell at him or do anything. But his brother didn't even move.

Raphael opened the glass shower door and turned off the cold water. Donatello still didn't move or give any indication that he knew what was going on around him.

Raphael grabbed a towel from the towel rack and, stepping into the shower, covered his brother and hauled him to his feet.

His brother was shivering. "Come on Donny, let's get you back to bed."

Donatello nodded as he brushed a hasty hand across his eyes as he quickly pulled on his sweats and a t-shirt. Raphael waited patiently with his eyes averted, giving his brother some privacy and a little time to recover himself.

"Thanks Raph." Donatello said in a shaky voice when he had finished getting dressed.

Raphael turned and looked at the devastated look on Donatello's face. Raphael reached out and took both of Donatello's shoulders in his hands looking his little brother straight in the eye. "You aren't going insane Donny." He told him firmly.

Donatello just looked at him bleakly. "Does it matter?" Donatello whispered.

"This nightmare..." Raphael began but Donatello shook his head.

"It wasn't a nightmare Raph." Donatello said as he pulled away from his grip. "Or maybe it was, because it ended." He whispered wretchedly.

Raphael frowned in confusion but Donatello did not elaborate as he walked out of the bathroom, making his way slowly to his bedroom.

Raphael watched his brother walk slowly to his room. There was a look on his brother's face that Raphael was having a hard time identifying. He was upset, that much was obvious, but there was something else; sadness? Grief perhaps?

Raphael could feel the piece of paper still sitting in his pocket, almost burning him with its heavy presence.

Raphael felt renewed determination fill him. He was going to figure out what was wrong with Donatello, because he refused to believe his brother was going insane.

* * *

**Leonardo** sat on his bed, he had stripped his sweat covered clothing off and had changed into his sweat pants. He looked at the floor, a piece of paper caught his attention. He picked it up off the floor from where it had fallen from his pocket. He remembered he had grabbed it from Donatello's room.

He unfolded it and felt himself pale. Written over and over again in Donatello's hastily scrawled letters were the words; HELP ME! HELP ME! SOMEBODY PLEASE! I AM LOSING MYSELF! HE IS ME!

* * *

**So what does everyone think so far? Thoughts and opinions are always welcome!:)**


	4. Chapter 4

**A giant thank you to Amonraphoenix for beta reading this chapter for me:)**

**Also a big thank you to I love kittens too and Mela989898 for reviewing the last chapter!**

* * *

Chapter 4

**Raphael** gently eased himself into Donatello's computer chair, trying not to make any noise. It had been three days since Donatello's meltdown in the shower and things had just gone from bad to worse. Leonardo had shown Master Splinter a note he had found on Donatello's floor, and it had been disturbing enough that the entire family had been shown. The next day a family meeting had been called and Donatello had been shown the incriminating note. His genius brother had just looked at the note bleakly and told his family that he had no recollection of writing the note, or why he would even write the note. He couldn't even guess what the note could mean.

Donatello had spent the next day locked in his lab and had emerged around dinner time with some restraints, bottles of clear liquid and syringes. He had calmly explained to everyone, that if he became a danger to himself or to his family, that they should strap him to a bed and administer the drugs; which would keep him sedated and less of a danger to everyone.

During this calm recital of what they would need to do to him, Donatello had fought back his tears, and Raphael had begun to yell in defense of their brother. He told them all that Donatello was not going insane. But his family had only looked at him sadly and shook their heads. Even Donatello had looked at him as if he was just making things worse by denying Donatello's impending insanity. It was as if his denial was hurting his brother more than accepting the fact that Donatello was going insane. But Raphael couldn't accept it; he refused to believe it.

Donatello had then refused to leave his room all the next day. He had refused to talk or see anyone, and had refused any offers of food or drink. There were hushed, frantic whispers that Donatello had already become a danger to himself if he was refusing to eat and drink. The thought that their brother had decided to waste away until he finally died either of dehydration or starvation was horrifying.

Raphael still refused to believe that his brother was a danger to himself. Raphael had seen Donatello go for days without eating and drinking anything substantial when he was immersed in a project. Raphael had been able to convince his family to back off for at least another day, to give Donatello a little time to think, and they had reluctantly agreed. But Raphael was running out of time. He didn't want to see Donatello strapped to a bed, a blank look in his eyes because of the drugs that would dull his mind and numb his body; turning his once brilliant brother into little more than a vegetable.

The problem was that Raphael had no proof that his brother wasn't going insane; just a burning hunch that had settled deep in his gut and refused to be silenced. Which was why he was sitting in Donatello's computer lab at three in the morning, trying to prove his hunch right. He powered on his brother's computer and tried to work as noiselessly as he could.

Computers were Donatello's thing. Raphael was lucky he knew where the 'on' switch was let alone how to operate the damn thing. But he hadn't wanted to have his brother's looking over his shoulder as he searched for proof only to fail and have to accept the fact that Donatello really was going insane. Which was why he was skulking around in the middle of the night instead of letting everyone know what he was doing.

Raphael scanned the computer screen and frowned. "How do you connect to the stupid internet?" He grumbled softly to himself.

"Double click on the 'e' icon." Donatello's voice drifted quietly over his shoulder.

Raphael yelped in surprise and nearly fell out of his chair. He slowly turned his head to look at his brother. Donatello looked exhausted, with dark bags under his eyes and age lines that seemed to have been etched permanently into his forehead and around his eyes.

"Raph, what are you doing?" Donatello asked him tiredly.

Raphael pursed his lips in indecision as he contemplated what to tell his brother.

Donatello sighed and pulled up another chair, flopping down beside him. "Listen Raph..." Donatello began.

"You ain't crazy, Donny." Raphael interrupted.

Donatello sighed again and placed a gentle hand on Raphael's shoulder. "I appreciate that you don't think I'm crazy Raph, but..."

"No buts, Donny. You ain't crazy, and I'm not gonna believe you're going crazy until I can prove you aren't." Raphael growled at his brother.

Donatello blinked at him. "You realize what you just said doesn't make any sense at all, right?" Donatello pointed out with a raised brow ridge.

"See, proof you aren't goin' crazy." Raphael said triumphantly, a huge smirk on his face.

Donatello sighed and rubbed his eyes tiredly. "Okay, Raph, you win. try to prove to me that I'm not going insane." Donatello reluctantly conceded.

Raphael gave a curt nod and then looked back at the computer screen uncertainly.

"Move over." Donatello said as Raphael slid his chair out of the way. "At least let me drive. If I wait for you to figure this out, I _will _be insane by the time you are done." Donatello grumbled, but with a small smile lifting up the corners of his mouth.

Raphael grinned, but frowned when his brother asked him why he wanted to go on the internet. He paused for a few moments and then dug into the pocket of his jeans, digging out the list he had stolen from his brother's bedroom a few days earlier.

Donatello looked at the list, his eyes widening in shock only to close in frustration. "Raph..." his brother began patiently, "if anything this list only proves that I am losing my mind."

"Maybe not Donny." Raphael insisted.

"Raph, why are you so determined to believe that I didn't suffer brain trauma which is slowly taking away my sanity?" Donatello asked him softly.

"I don't know, Donny; gut feeling." Raphael said with a shrug, trying to make light of his conviction that his brother wasn't going insane.

Donatello let out a puff of air and then nodded. "What do you see that I don't?" Donatello questioned.

"Did you check the butterfly thing?" Raphael asked.

"Yes, Raph." Donatello said with a hint of frustration. "There is no species of butterfly that is completely black. I thought it may be a moth as well, but it isn't. So the butterfly thing that my mind has fixated on, is a dead end. And rather more proof that I am losing my mind."

Raphael felt his shoulders slump slightly, but he wasn't defeated yet. "Okay type in April O'Neil."

Donatello frowned but typed the name into the search engine. "Who is April O'Neil?" He asked as he began scanning the articles that came up about the woman.

"I dunno." Raphael said with a casual shrug. "You said we knew her." Raphael said as he caught the words CEO under her name.

"She's the CEO of Stockman-O'Neil Tech. It looks like she became CEO just over ten years ago after Dr. Baxter Stockman, the founder, was killed in a car accident. She was his lab assistant at the time." Donatello continued reading for a few moments. "I don't know her, Raph." Donatello said with another shake of his head. "But I know _of _her. At least I have heard of the company. But...I don't remember saying that I knew her." Donatello said with a slight shake of his head.

"Yeah, you seemed to forget after you said you knew her, and Casey Jones. You said he was my friend and that they were married and had a kid." Raphael told his brother, hoping that the knowledge wouldn't cause his brother to suffer another attack like he did the last time he had spoken those two names.

"It says here that she is single." Donatello pointed out to him.

"Is there a picture of her?" Raphael asked wondering if this April was the 'she' and the 'her' that had been written on Donatello's note.

Donatello found a picture of a woman in her early thirties, pretty, red hair green eyes. He watched his brother's face for any reaction and got nothing.

"Does she look familiar, Donny?" Raphael asked anyway knowing what the answer would be.

Donatello shook his head. "Like I said, Raph, I recognize her company. It has some of the most amazing tech coming out of it right now." Donatello said with a spark of excitement that lit his features that quickly dimmed and then disappeared altogether. "That is why I know her, Raph." Donatello finished in a despondent voice.

Raphael then got his brother to look up Casey Jones, who turned out to be a vigilante thug who had a rap sheet a mile long for numerous assaults, all against assorted street thugs and gang members. "Huh, sounds like the kind of guy I'd hang out with." Raphael commented with a thoughtful grin.

"So I told you that April O'Neil had married this guy?" Donatello said incredulously. "She's a brainy scientist, he's a street thug, what would they even have in common?" Donatello asked him.

Raphael shrugged. "You got me, Donny, I'm only tellin' you what you told me."

"So now what?" His brother asked him.

Raphael felt his shoulders slump. "But you knew their names, Donny." Raphael said quietly.

"I probably read about them in the paper and my subconscious mind remembered them while I was suffering an attack of some sort, and I blurted out something that didn't make any sense." Donatello explained softly as he went to turn off the computer.

"Wait!" Raphael blurted out, refusing to give up, even though the explanation his brother had just given made perfect sense.

Raphael smoothed out the wrinkled piece of paper and scanned the hastily scrawled lines, desperately looking for something that wouldn't point to the deterioration of Donatello's mind.

Donatello paused and waited patiently for Raphael to say something. "You keep having crazy dreams." Raphael said softly.

"Everyone has crazy dreams, Raph." Donatello commented dryly.

"Yeah but dreams don't usually make you so upset that you had to go and cry in the shower for half an hour." Raphael retorted sharply.

Donatello flinched at his words.

Raphael closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to keep his frustration and anger in check. "You might as well tell me, Donny. I know you haven't told anyone else what you've been dreaming about." Raphael managed to say quietly.

"That's okay, Raph." Donatello said with a shake of his head as he started to stand.

"Damn it, Donny, who else you gonna tell, huh? And you gotta tell someone cause it's eatin' you up inside. I can see it." Raphael snapped angrily.

Donatello paused, still halfway between sitting and standing. He seemed to think for a moment before flopping back down into his seat. "Fine, Raph, what do you want to know?" He questioned.

"Why were you cryin'? I've never known you to break down into tears." Raphael asked gruffly.

Donatello sat back in his chair and sighed, rubbing his hands across his eyes before looking Raphael in the eyes and remaining stubbornly silent.

"Oh come on, Donny, who else you gonna tell; Leo? Mikey? Master Splinter? They all think you belong in the loony bin." Raphael pointed out as he held his arms out wide. "Face it, I'm the only one who you can tell."

"I was crying because I lost the love of my life." Donatello finally answered softly.

Raphael felt his mouth fall open as he stared at his brother in shock. "You..." Raphael composed himself and then gave his head a quick shake. "So you were dreamin' about a chick. We all dream about 'em every now and then." He told his brother, his shoulders sagging in relief. "I know they're human, but I figure that's okay. It ain't like there are any chick mutant turtles walking around."

"I know Raph. I'm not having a problem with the fact that she was human." Donatello said with an edge of resigned frustration in his voice. "And I wasn't dreaming about a faceless woman, or some woman that I may have seen in passing on the street. She...I can't even begin to describe her to you Raph. She...She's...Her."

Raphael frowned in confusion. "Okaaaay." He said to his brother waiting for him to explain further.

"I told you, Raph, I can't explain her. And it doesn't really matter. She's just a figment of my imagination." Donatello said curtly, as if trying to end the conversation.

Raphael watched Donatello try to contain the despair that settled into his brother's eyes.

"But, you don't believe that, do you." Raphael finally observed softly.

Donatello looked away, but gave a slight nod of agreement. "I don't know what to believe anymore." Donatello began softly. "I don't even know what's real and what isn't." Donatello said in frustration as he snatched up the list from the desk. "When I read this," Donatello pointed at the list and threw it back down on the desk. "Even I think I'm going crazy. I am in love with a woman who probably exists only in my dreams and I have all of these thoughts and visions that go through my head that don't make any sense." Donatello growled.

They both fell into silence for a few moments before Raphael asked curiously, "So what's she look like?"

Donatello closed his eyes for a minute and Raphael didn't think his brother was going to answer him until he finally spoke.

"She's beautiful, Raph. Her hair is a golden brown, but when the sun hits it, it's all russet, copper and golden waves that roll down her back. Her skin is pale and feels like velvet. She smells like some sort of flower and tastes like the sweetest honey. Her eyes are a brilliant moss green with golden flecks that look back at me as if I am the most important person in the world to her. She loves to smile and laugh and she's smart and witty..." Donatello's voice trailed off and a dark flush of embarrassment rose up, staining his heated cheeks.

Raphael frowned. Whenever he had dreamed of a mystery woman they tended to be gone in the morning. He was lucky if he remembered what they looked like, let alone recalled any detail about them or their personality. Though if he were honest with himself, they probably didn't have one to begin with.

"See, Raph, I am insane." Donatello snapped as he stood.

"Donny," Raphael said as he quickly stood stopping his brother from leaving the room.

"She's got a scar that runs across her cheek, under her left eye and I know that it was Leo who gave it to her." Donatello said to him in frustrated anger.

Raphael felt his mouth drop open again. "She's a Purple Dragon? Or some member of a street gang? But I don't remember...Leo never actually hurts anyone with his swords." Raphael found himself protesting in confusion. "Especially not a chick."

"I know that, Raph. But I don't remember why or how she got the scar; only that Leo gave it to her and that she isn't an enemy." Donatello shook his head angrily from side to side before stilling his head and looking down at his feet.

"Come on, Donny." Raphael said as he gently led his brother back to his computer chair and got him to sit down.

"I don't even know her name." Donatello began quietly. " All I know is that...it was her." Donatello stopped talking, as if he was gathering up his thoughts before he spoke again. "She was the one I couldn't protect. I told you I lost her, Raph, and that's because I did. I couldn't protect her and she was killed." Donatello dragged a hand across his eyes before he looked at Raphael in the eyes. "But I've never met her. I don't know her. It makes no sense." Donatello clutched at his head in pain. "And if I think about it too much my nose starts to bleed and my head begins to ache." He said as he pulled his hands away from his head and put them in his lap.

They sat in silence for a few moments and Raphael felt himself staring at the list. "Who is the white haired demon?" He found himself asking curiously.

"I don't know." Donatello said with a weary sigh as he slumped in his chair. "I can't see her face, but she has a black butterfly mark or tattoo on her left cheek. And when she is around I don't feel like myself." Donatello mumbled despondently. "I feel...I feel like a bloodthirsty animal." Donatello whispered staring at his hands in his lap.

Raphael leaned back in his chair and contemplated his brother. Raphael would be the first to admit that complicated problems were not his thing. Generally he solved problems with his fists, not his brain, but this didn't mean that Raphael considered himself to be stupid. He just wasn't that complex, and he was okay with that.

"Dreams don't usually make any sense, Donny." Raphael told his brother softly.

"And dreams aren't supposed to feel real, or stay with you so vividly after you wake up either." Donatello snapped back.

Raphael ignored his brother's words, his mind already hitting upon a different line of thought. "But don't they have all those dream books. You know, the ones that tell you falling means that you hate your job or somethin' like that." Raphael asked thoughtfully.

Donatello blinked at him in surprise as Raphael continued."That damn black butterfly is everywhere, right? So maybe the butterfly isn't a butterfly." He told his brother as Donatello continued to stare at Raphael in shock. "I don't have rocks for brains, Donny. I do use my head sometimes." Raphael grumbled out after seeing the shocked look Donatello was giving him.

Donatello seemed to shake himself and quickly turned to his computer, his fingers flying across the keyboard. "I'm such an idiot." Donatello said shaking his head. "I don't know why I didn't think of that before."

"Cause you're too busy worrying that you're going bonkers." Raphael pointed out wryly.

"There are a few different meanings." Donatello began, ignoring Raphael's comment. Donatello's eyes scanned the screen before him. "Resurrection, transition, time, celebration...soul." Donatello sat back in his chair and contemplated the computer screen thoughtfully. "She told me that I was her soul mate, and to never forget. But she also told me to find out what the butterfly meant. And when I first met the white haired demon the butterfly flew onto my shoulder and dug itself into my skin, sliding beneath it. And my darker self has the same butterfly marking on his shoulder that the demon does." Donatello muttered thoughtfully.

"Your darker self?" Raphael questioned in confusion.

Donatello nodded with abstraction. "He's in my head. He talks to me sometimes."

Raphael felt himself pale at these words, but kept his voice steady when he asked, "What does he talk about?"

Donatello still seemed preoccupied as he answered. "He can be kind of a jerk. Actually he reminds me of you a little bit." Donatello said as he lost his abstracted air and focused on Raphael again. Donatello seemed to realize what he had been talking about and hastened to add. "He's just in my dreams. And he only tells me to remember things; sometimes he shows me things..." His voice trailed off as he blushed darkly.

"What does he want you to remember?" Raphael asked in nervous confusion.

"I don't know." Donatello answered with a slight shake of his head, but deftly avoided Raphael's inquiring gaze.

"What did he show you, Donny?" Raphael asked insistently, worried about his brother's shifting gaze.

"I was..." Donatello swallowed with embarrassment. "I was with...her." He mumbled as he studied his hands which had fallen into his lap again.

"You were with her doing what?" Raphael asked curiously. Donatello remained silent, his gazed focused intently on his hands. Raphael waited for his brother to elaborate, which he didn't. Raphael thought about his brother's words and felt his mouth drop open in shock. "You were..._with _her, with her?" Raphael asked, incredulous.

Donatello continued to look at his hands, but nodded very slightly.

"You were having sex, with this mystery woman...in your dream." Raphael asked carefully.

Donatello's cheeks became darker, but gave a firmer nod.

Raphael tipped back his head and laughed deeply. The sound was oddly joyous in what had been, moments before, a tense and strained conversation.

His brother lifted his head and glared at him. But Raphael continued to laugh harder, barely able to catch his breath as his mind fit the events together. "So...So you...when Mater Splinter and Leo thought you were having a nightmare..." He gasped for air. "You were..."

"Shut up, Raph." Donatello hissed, cutting him off.

Raphael wiped the tears from his cheeks and clapped Donatello on the back. "I would never have thought you had it in you, Donny, congratulations." Raphael said still chuckling, but managing to get himself finally under control. "It's no wonder you didn't want to tell Master Splinter and Leo! Could you imagine their faces." The image in his mind of his father and older brother's shock and slightly disturbed gazes entered his mind which set Raphael off again, unable to contain his laughter.

Donatello continued to glare at him but eventually let a smile lift the corner of his mouth up in a slight grin.

When Raphael managed to contain his laughter they fell into silence for a few more moments and Raphael began to get Donatello to open up and tell him everything that Donatello had been dreaming about and seeing in his visions. Raphael felt himself yawning, his brother's words becoming far away and softer, until Raphael felt himself slump forward and fell asleep on the desk.

* * *

**Donatello** woke up, his head lying on the computer desk. He looked over and noticed that Raphael had gone to bed. He stood up stretching as his chair rolled back and hit the table behind it. Donatello looked over his shoulder at the incriminating table and felt his shoulders slump in resignation.

He slowly made his way out of the lab to go and talk to his darker self. Since he had nothing better to do in his dream.

He finally encountered his darker self in the dojo. Donatello was slightly surprised because although Donatello did tend to train, he never spent any extra time than he had to in that room; Raphael and Leonardo all but lived there. Michelangelo was like Donatello and couldn't wait to leave the training area to go off to do more enjoyable activities.

Donatello's darker self was standing shirtless in front of a training dummy; two swords clasped in his hands. The swords were mismatched; one looked to be a Greek kopis sword, the other a short sword of some sort, possibly Celtic in origin. His darker self was sweating heavily and the dummy had been cut to ribbons. His dark self suddenly spun lashing out with his right sword decapitating the dummy in one swift, smooth motion. The head flew backwards bouncing a few times before hitting the opposite wall.

Dark Donatello turned and smiled viciously, baring his sharp canines in a wide grin.

Donatello's eyes moved to his darker self's chest. He seemed broader than Donatello actually was and more heavily scarred. There was one particularly vicious scar that ran from the top center of his chest, just above his plastron to his shoulder. There was also healed damage to his plastron right over his heart. His arms and carapace also seemed to be more scarred and chipped than Donatello was.

Dark Donatello looked down at himself. "Must have a rough life." He said with a smirk as he bent down and scooped up his black shirt off of the floor, using it to wipe the sweat from his face and neck. Donatello looked at the black butterfly that marked his darker self's left shoulder.

"So you think you've figured this out huh?" His dark self said asked as he tapped the butterfly on his shoulder. "So if the butterfly means soul, then what does _that_ mean?" His darker self asked.

"I don't know." Donatello shrugged in resigned frustration. He was unused to having so many unanswered questions, but somehow Raphael's support made him feel as though he wasn't losing his mind.

"And I see you brought company. I'm impressed." Dark Donatello said as he stared over Donatello's shoulder.

Raphael rubbed his head as he shook it a little to clear it. He felt a little dazed and pulled. He had woken up in Donatello's lab and had thought his brother had gone to bed and had left him to sleep. He had heard voices echoing out from the dojo and had been curious when both voices had sounded like Donatello.

A chill crawled and slithered its way across his shoulders and down his back at the thought that his brother was having a conversation with himself. Raphael believed that Donatello wasn't going insane, but Raphael knew that he could be wrong. And this thought still lurked within the dark, unwanted corners of his mind.

He slowly approached the training room and felt his feet root to the spot in shock as he looked at Donatello, and over his brother's shoulder stood another Donatello; shirtless, heavily scarred, holding two swords in hand and wearing a black mask.

"And I see you brought company. I'm impressed." The Donatello wearing the black mask said with a slight, mocking grin.

"Great, now I'm havin' the crazy dreams too." Raphael grumbled to himself as he rubbed his head again.

Donatello looked over his shoulder at him in surprise and then turned his attention back to the black masked version of himself.

"So I'm dreaming, Raph is here now." Donatello said with a shrug.

"Except, he is actually here. You brought him in." The black masked Donatello said with a slight hint of interest as he took a few steps towards Raphael, sheathing his swords across his back. "Raphael, Raphael, now why does my blood boil when I see you?" Black masked Donatello asked, his knuckles clenched together in anger as his gaze trailed down to the twin sais that were stuck through his belt. "Ah yes, I remember now." He said as he launched himself at Raphael.

Raphael felt the black masked Donatello slam into him, knocking him backwards. The attack was so fierce and sudden that Raphael had no time to react as the air was crushed from his lungs as he was slammed hard into the ground. He grunted in pain as he struggled to take a breath, surprised at how much the dream felt real as the dark version of his brother wrapped his hands around Raphael's throat in furious anger.

"What do you mean I brought him in?" Donatello questioned uneasily as Raphael watched the darker version of his brother's eyes turn a golden-red.

The anger and menace rolled off the dark version of his brother in waves as Raphael felt him begin to squeeze his vulnerable throat, his air being cut off abruptly. Raphael's eyes widened in shock and panic as he struggled to breathe as the dark version of his brother began to growl deep within his chest, his canine teeth bared in a menacing snarl as he slowly set about strangling Raphael.

"You were the one who tried to take what I wanted!" Dark Donatello roared in anger as he squeezed Raphael's throat tighter. Raphael struggled, trying to pry the vice-like fingers that were wrapped around his throat in an unforgiving grip.

Huge, membranous black wings suddenly rose up from under the rim of Dark Donatello's carapace, a long serpentine tail whipped from side to side in irritation.

"Stop! What are you doing?" Donatello yelled in panic and fear as he tried unsuccessfully to pull his darker version's fingers from Raphael's throat as Raphael continued to buck and struggle against the fingers that were crushing the life from his body.

Raphael could feel his vision growing dim and vaguely wondered if he died in this dream, if he would ever wake up.

There was the sound of metal scraping against metal as the tip of a short sword was suddenly leveled at Dark Donatello's exposed throat. "Let him go, now!" Donatello ordered in a shaky voice.

Dark Donatello's golden-red eyes shifted to Donatello for a moment before shifting back to Raphael. "Donatello, do not attempt to threaten me. I could break and destroy you too easily, even with that sword pressed to my throat." Dark Donatello growled but he loosened his grip slightly and Raphael took a huge gasping breath of air. "My Mistress bears the scars from your weapon." The black masked Donatello hissed angrily as Raphael felt his mouth fall open in shock and confusion.

"Listen...I have no...idea ...what...you're talkin' about." Raphael protested as he continued to gasp hungrily for air; Dark Donatello's weight still pressing heavily upon his plastron, making it very difficult to breathe.

Dark Donatello's eyes turned more red than gold as he angrily growled at Raphael, the deep rumble vibrating into Raphael's own chest.

Dark Donatello's eyes suddenly returned to their normal hazelnut brown. "My Mistress?" He questioned to himself as he seemed to roll this thought around in his head. "I have a Mistress, now isn't that interesting." He pondered softly as the black masked Donatello suddenly let go of Raphael's throat. Raphael took a thankful gasp of air as the heavier turtle finally removed his weight from Raphael's plastron.

Donatello dropped the sword with a clatter and rushed to Raphael's side, helping him up off the floor, glaring at the darker version of himself as he did so.

"Of course if I destroyed you I would unfortunately destroy myself." Dark Donatello growled softly as he looked over his shoulder at the wings and tail that he now possessed. "Wings and a tail?" The black masked Donatello asked Donatello, ignoring the angry, heated glared Donatello was giving him. "Now why are you giving me wings and a tail?" He questioned curiously as the wings that had jutted out from under the rim of his carapace settled around his shoulders and transformed into a black leather trench coat, his tail vanishing all together. "Do not try to give my shape form Donatello, you will only tire yourself out. And considering that you have managed to bring your brother's spirit into this place, you are exhausting what little reserves you have to begin with. I think it would be rather unfortunate if you did not wake, don't you?" His darker self warned.

"I don't understand what you are talking about." Donatello snapped with a quick, irritated shake of his head.

"Well, if I had any answers to give you, I would not keep you in suspense, believe me." Dark Donatello growled as he crossed his arms over his chest and eyed Raphael with mild irritation.

"You mean...Raph is actually here?" Donatello asked in shocked disbelief.

"Uh, Donny?" Raphael questioned as he slowly pulled away from his brother.

"That is what I just said." The Dark version of Donatello shrugged. "He may not remember this when he wakes up, but I would put a pail under his face. He's probably going to lose his...dinner."

"I don't understand." Donatello protested as he raised his arms in confusion.

"Neither do I." Dark Donatello growled. "But him being here," Dark Donatello nodded towards Raphael. "That's simple." Dark Donatello said with a negligent shrug. "You, thinking that you are off your rocker nuts, clung desperately to Raphael's assertions that you were not in fact going insane. Therefore you have latched onto him in a rather unfortunate way and have caused part of his spirit to enter your unconscious mind."

"I-I..." Donatello stammered in shock as Raphael looked back and forth between the two Donatello's in total confusion.

"What the hell are you two talking about?" Raphael growled in irritation as he swallowed roughly and rubbed his sore throat.

Dark Donatello ignored Raphael's outburst. "I am rather disappointed in you, Donatello." The Dark version of his brother said as he began to slowly circle Donatello. "You have not thought about every possibility. You have decided that either you are insane or are receiving messages from your future self, but those are not your only possibilities. You just have to think and accept the fact that perhaps what you are seeing is true and what you are living is not completely untrue." He told Donatello seriously.

"That doesn't even make any sense." Donatello suddenly roared in frustration. "And why do you always have to talk in riddles? Can't you just tell me what you know?"

Dark Donatello uncrossed his arms. "It makes perfect sense." He snapped. "You just have to figure out _how_ it makes sense; and stop thinking that you are going insane." He pointed a finger at Donatello. "If I knew what it meant I would tell you." He snarled. "I have bits and pieces but not the whole picture in front of me. But I _know_ that we aren't insane. What we have been seeing; the visions, the feelings, the dreams, they are all true. But what we have been living, it is just a _different _truth." He told Donatello forcefully. "Now wake up before you kill us both and leave your brother a vegetable." Dark Donatello barked with a wave of his hand.

* * *

**Raphael** opened his eyes and felt his stomach rise up in rebellion. The burning scent of vomit crawled up his nostrils as his eyes met Donatello's who held a wastebasket beneath Raphael's mouth.

Raphael wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and groaned softly.

"I'm sorry, Raph." Donatello apologized.

"For what?" Rapahel croaked out to his brother as he shakily stood clutching his throbbing head as he tried to swallow and found that swallowing was painful.

Donatello quickly put the bucket down and helped Raphael as he wavered on his feet.

"For the dream." Donatello replied softly.

"What dream?" Raphael asked in confusion as he rubbed his throat which burned painfully.

Donatello gently reached out and touched Raphael's throat and opened his mouth to reply but Raphael just waved him off. "I'm sorry, Donny. I don't feel very good right now. I think I'm going to go crash." He managed to mumble as his eyes caught the screen of Donatello's computer.

Typed on the computer, over and over again were the words;

_Help Me! I can't fight him; Help Me, Please!_

Raphael's eyes flew to back Donatello's whose eyes scanned the computer screen and looked bleakly back at Raphael.

Raphael felt himself pale as he looked into his brother's grim eyes.


	5. Chapter 5

**A big thank you to both Amonraphoenix and dondena for beta reading this chapter for me!**

**Also a big thank you to mela989898 and i love kittens too for your reviews!**

**A/N Raph drops the F-bomb, just sayin'**

* * *

Chapter 5

**Leonardo** walked into the kitchen, his heart feeling oddly heavy and morose. The kitchen was empty, but it was still early in the morning and he was usually the one who was up first. Leonardo sat down heavily in his chair. He was not hungry, the lump of lead sitting in his stomach made it impossible to even think about food. He didn't even want to go to the effort of making himself a cup of tea.

He jumped slightly as Raphael entered the kitchen looking pale and exhausted. "Morning, Leo." Raphael growled in rough voice, as he stumbled towards the fridge.

Leonardo frowned in concern. "You okay, Raph?" He asked his brother softly, knowing that his brother had probably spent much of the night awake. Leonardo was sure their entire family had.

"I'm feelin' a bit better." His brother grumbled as he closed the fridge with a disgusted thump, and sat down at the table empty-handed.

Leonardo's frown deepened. "You didn't sleep?" He asked.

"Eventually. Puked my guts out last night, but I seem to be better this morning." Raphael mumbled as he dragged weary fingers across his eyes and down his face, before throwing back his head and staring at the ceiling.

Leonardo stood, pushing his chair back. Raphael looked at him and frowned in concern. "What?" Raphael asked as Leonardo looked at his brother in apprehension.

"What happened to your neck, Raph?" Leonardo asked uneasily.

"Huh?" Raphael asked in confusion.

Leonardo walked around the table and bent down so that he could get a better look at Raphael's throat, which appeared to be covered in dark bruising. Raphael pulled away but Leonardo grabbed his brother's chin and tipped his head up gently, exposing his neck to the light.

"Leo, let go." Raphael growled warningly, pulling his head out of his grip and scraping his chair back enough so that he could stand.

Anger surged through Leonardo. "What were you doing topside, Raph?" He snapped at his brother.

"Wha...?" Raphael's amber eyes widened in surprise and confusion before they narrowed into thin golden slits of anger at the accusation.

"I wasn't topside last night, Leo." Raphael spat out as he took a threatening step towards Leonardo, who stood, his own temper burning more hotly.

"Don't lie to me, Raph!" Leonardo shouted. "We have too much to worry about without us having to worry about you going topside and getting your ass kicked or possibly killed. It is too dangerous for you to be wandering around and you have a brother who needs you." Leonardo bit out angrily between clenched teeth.

"Don't you dare go accusin' me of going topside and abandoning Donny!" Raphael growled back. "Unlike you and everyone else in this fucking family, I am the ONLY one who doesn't think Donny's goin' nuts. I spent the entire night trying to prove it!"

"By going out and busting some heads!" Leonardo accused in frustration.

"No!" Raphael snapped, shaking his head back and forth before wincing in pain, his hand shooting up and rubbing his neck gently.

"Then what were you doing last night!" Leonardo asked angrily.

Raphael pulled back his lips in a snarl. "I already told ya, Leo..."

"You have bruises on your neck, Raph, so don't lie to me!" Leonardo took two steps towards his brother.

"I ain't lyin'! I was with Donny!" Raphael defended.

Leonardo blinked in surprise. "You took Donny out of the lair?" He asked in surprise. "Raph, do you know..." He began as he studied Raphael's bruises more carefully. He could almost make out each individual finger that left a distinctive pattern on his brother's throat.

"Of course I didn't take Donny out of the lair!" Raphael said in exasperation as he began to shake his head, but stopped mind motion.

Leonardo felt the blood drain from his face as he took a shaky step towards his brother. "Raph..." He began as he swallowed down his growing horror. "Did...did Donny...Did Donny hurt you?" He asked carefully in a choked whisper of disbelief.

Raphael frowned at him in confusion at the idea. "Leo, how can you even think that..."

"Because I can see the finger marks bruised into your skin, and they were made by a three fingered hand, Raph." Leonardo took another step towards his brother, who took a step backwards.

"No, Donny would never..." Raphael began softly.

"Don't you remember being attacked?" Leonardo gently probed.

"I wasn't attacked, Leo." Raphael ground out, but placed a shaking hand to his throat.

"Tell me what happened." Leonardo encouraged gently.

"Nothin'. Me and Donny talked and then I fell asleep." Raphael told Leonardo in an irritated voice.

"Then what happened?" Leonardo prompted.

"I woke up with my head in a bucket, and Donny tellin' me he was...sorry." Raphael finished with a hoarse whisper.

Leonardo swallowed down the bile that rose in his throat as black spots began to dance before his eyes. "Raph..." Leonardo choked out. "Donny must have...have drugged you and...and tried to choke you while you were...were unconscious." He managed to stammer out as a black wave of horror filled despair washed over him at what he had just accused Donatello of. He realized that Raphael had probably vomited in reaction to the drug that Donatello had given their brother.

"Leo..." Raphael began.

"Raph..." Leonardo quickly closed the gap between them as he gently put a hand on his brother's bare shoulder. Raphael gave Leo a look of devastated disbelief that Donatello, the one who hated violence the most, would ever attack him in such a way.

"Come on, Raph, we need to talk to Master Splinter." Leonardo told his brother wretchedly.

"No." Raphael said firmly. "We talk to Donny first, before we go to Master Splinter. It will...it will break his heart."

Leonardo gave a nod agreement. They would confront their brother before they went to Master Splinter with the heart wrenching news; that Donatello had become a deadly danger, not only to himself, but to them as well.

* * *

**Donatello** paced his lab in agitation as his thoughts spun out of control. His heart hammered furiously in his chest as tried to calm his thoughts enough to think straight.

After he had been jolted awake last night, his first instinct had been to grab the waste basket by his foot and wait for his brother to wake up. And just as his darker self had predicted, Raphael opened his eyes, slid his head from the computer desk, and had promptly been sick. When Raphael had straightened Donatello, to his utter horror, had seen the beginning of severe bruising making its way across his brother's throat. He had tried to apologize to his brother, who didn't seem to remember anything that had happened when he had been dragged unwillingly into Donatello's unconscious mind.

After his brother had stumbled to his room, Donatello had sat at his computer desk and stared at the words that had been written over and over again. The message-_ Help Me! I can't fight him; Help Me, Please! - _was seared into his brain as his mind tried to come to grips with the ramifications of what had just happened.

He had come up with several theories, all of them disturbing, and each no more probable than the rest.

He knew he had fallen asleep, that much was certain. But had a dark part of his subconscious -Dark Donatello perhaps- seized control of his body and assaulted his brother somehow? Had the lighter part of his subconscious written the message on the computer as he had fought back against killing his brother? But if this were true, why hadn't Raphael fought back? And why hadn't Raphael remembered if Donatello had attacked him? Raphael should have woken up immediately and defended himself, but he hadn't.

So did that mean what he had dreamt had been true? Had he somehow managed to drag his brother's spirit into his subconscious where Dark Donatello had attacked Raphael, which had left a physical manifestation of the attack on his brother's actual flesh?

This thought seemed impossible, but that had only left the horrific theory that he had blacked out and tried to kill his brother; the very brother who had been the only one who had supported him and tried to prove that he was not going insane.

These thoughts tumbled around in his brain as he continued to pace back and forth, no closer to an answer, and only raising more questions.

He asked himself over and over if he would be able to kill his brother? If he had it in him to wrap his fingers around his defenceless brother's throat and squeeze the life from his body.

Donatello didn't think he would be able to do something so horrific, but if his mind were unbalanced, he supposed that he would be capable of anything. But still, the question remained; why hadn't Raphael defended himself?" Donatello asked himself again just as Leonardo and Raphael entered his lab, closing and locking the door behind them.

Donatello paused in his pacing and felt his heart drop into his gut at the sombre expression his brothers each wore on their faces.

Donatello swallowed the lump of dread that crawled up his throat and choked him as Leonardo shared a look with Raphael, who looked away, crossing his arms over his chest, the bruises on his throat standing out starkly against his brilliant emerald green skin.

Leonardo turned his attention back to Donatello. "Donny..." Leonardo began, his voice gentle, but containing a sharp edge of steel.

"I know, Leo." Donatello quickly cut his brother off as he hung his head. "But...I didn't...I don't know what happened." He admitted quietly, a hint of confused desperation in his voice.

"What happened was that you drugged Raph and tried to strangle him while he was unconscious." Leonardo snapped angrily as he advanced on Donatello, only to be held back by Raphael, who gently grabbed his shoulder.

"Leo." Raphael growled softly. "You said you'd let him explain."

Amber and dark brown eyes turned towards Donatello in uncertain question. "I didn't...I don't remember..." Donatello stopped himself as he looked at Raphael in horror. _Is that why Raphael didn't fight back, because I drugged him?_ He wondered in panic as his heart beat rapidly in his chest at the horrific thought.

Donatello darted to his medicine cabinet, wondering if what Leonardo had accused him of was true, and mentally kicking himself for not coming to the conclusion earlier that he could have drugged his brother, which would explain why Raphael hadn't fought back.

With shaking hands Donatello opened his medicine cabinet. "If I did, then some of my medicines should be missing." He said as his eyes frantically searched his cabinet, and found no medicine that seemed to be either missing or low. "There isn't anything miss..." He turned and looked at his brothers who were looking at him with mistrustful speculation in their eyes, and Donatello realized that his brother's wouldn't know if he was lying or telling the truth, since they did not know what was in his medicine cabinet.

Donatello felt his eyes fill with tears of frustration. "There isn't anything missing, but you won't believe me if I tell you that." Donatello said, shaking his head.

"I believe you, Donny." Raphael said suddenly.

Donatello turned wide, surprised eyes towards his brother. "Y-you do?"

"Raph." Leonardo began.

"No, Leo, Donny says that none of his medicine is missin', then I believe him." Raphael defended in a growl.

"Raph," Leonardo began. "Donny doesn't even remember what happened. He could have taken some and replaced it or taken it from the truck, or some other place." Leonardo turned his attention back to Donatello.

Raphael looked as if he was going to protest, but Donatello spoke before his brother was able to. "He's right, Raph. If it is my subconscious at work, I could have put something somewhere and not even remember having put it there." Donatello turned back to his medicine cabinet, and pulled out a vial of clear liquid along with a new syringe. He turned looked at his brothers. He stuck the needle into the bottle and pulled back the plunger measuring out the liquid as tears blurred his vision making the small numbers on the syringe hard to read. He blinked back his tears as he pulled the tip of the needle from the bottle.

"I've become a danger to myself and our family." Donatello told his brothers wretchedly as he choked back his tears.

"Donny, what are you doing?" Raphael asked slowly.

"I don't...I don't want to be a burden and I don't want to...to...God, Raph, I could have killed you! It...It's better this way." He whispered miserably as he put the tip of the needle against his leg and pushed it through his jeans and into his femoral artery. It stung as he adjusted his grip to push the plunger in.

The needle was suddenly ripped from his flesh and Donatello looked up into the furious eyes of Raphael.

"No!" Raphael said vehemently as he threw the needle away, and grabbed both of Donatello's shoulders in a grip of iron. "I can't...No. You aren't nut's, Donny." Raphael whispered, his voice quavering with emotion, as tears welled up in Raphael's eyes.

"I'm sorry, Raph." Donatello said with a shake of his head as he gave his brother's shoulder a quick squeeze.

"What about a blood test?" Raphael asked desperately.

"I've already run every blood test on myself that I could think of, Raph." Donatello said with a sad shake of his head as Leonardo picked up the syringe from where Raphael had knocked it from his leg.

"No, on me." Raphael said quickly as Donatello looked at his brother in confusion. Raphael continued. "If you drugged me there would still be drugs in my system, right?"

"Raph..." Leonardo interrupted.

"No, Leo. I refuse to believe that Donny drugged me and tried to kill me last night!" Raphael defended hotly.

"But I did, Raph." Donatello interrupted quietly as he walked over to his medicine bag and pulled out a tourniquet, test tube and a fresh needle.

A tense silence descended upon the room as Leonardo and Raphael waited for him to explain. "In my dream I attacked you." Donatello said as he motioned for Raphael to hold out his arm. Donatello was going to do the blood test anyway, because he wanted to know how much of a monster he had become.

"Donny..." Raphael whispered in a strained voice.

"Well, not me," Donatello corrected softly. "Dark Donatello." Donatello told his brother whose amber eyes widened in shock and recognition. Raphael remained silent as Donatello wrapped the thick elastic around Raphael's bicep, and got him to clench is hand into a fist as Donatello expertly inserted the needle, drawing his brother's blood into the vial.

"Donny...who is Dark Donatello?" Leonardo asked in a shaking voice.

Donatello gave a one shouldered shrug, not daring to look into Leonardo's eyes. He already knew how it sounded. He knew he sounded like he was crazy. He pulled the tourniquet from Raphael's arm and slowly slid the point of the needle from his brother's flesh.

"I'm not sure, Leo." Donatello finally answered truthfully, falling into his computer seat after depositing his brother's test tube of blood into the hematology imaging analyzer. "He's... I don't know. Me I guess."

Donatello began avoiding both of his brother's gazes. "He was impressed because he told me that I had brought Raph into my dream with me. Then he said that he was wondering why Raphael made his blood boil, suddenly he said he remembered and attacked Raph. Then he said that Raph took something that he wanted, and I got him to stop, and I gave him wings and a tail and he said that it was Raph's weapon that scarred his Mistress. He was then surprised that he said the word Mistress, and then he told me not to change his form because I would overdo it and I would kill myself and turn Raph into a vegetable. Then he said that Raph wouldn't remember the dream, and that he would probably puke when he woke up; and he did. But...I typed a message on the computer while I was dreaming all of this, so it is possible that I did drug Raph and tried to kill him." Donatello finished in a rush of words that all tumbled and fell over each other. Donatello lay his forehead on his desk and closed his eyes in misery.

He felt a gentle had touch his shoulder. "It's gonna be okay Donny." Raphael's gentle voice told him, but Donatello just shook his head hopelessly.

"No, Raph. It isn't." Donatello said miserably as the wine of a printer broke through his desolation and alerted him to the results of his brother's blood test.

He lifted his head from his desk as Leonardo put the syringe down on the table next to the printer and removed the sheet that contained the results.

Donatello swallowed, his flesh beginning to prickle with nerves as he waited for Leonardo to announce the verdict.

Leonardo frowned. "It's clean." Leonardo said suddenly his eyes darting from Raphael to Donatello in confusion. Leonardo knelt down in front of Donatello. "Donny, this is very important." Leonardo began, his voice strained. "Master Splinter said that you had an unusual amount of psychic strength that had come from you the day that you were in the meditation room with him."

"Which means what?" Raphael growled.

"This...Dark Donatello, he told you that you had pulled Raph into your dream?" Leonardo asked cautiously.

Donatello nodded his head as Leonardo seemed to think over his answer for a moment before speaking. "It is possible that Donny managed to pull you into his dream..." Leonardo announced.

Donatello stood up angrily. "It doesn't matter if I did or didn't." Donatello said shaking his head. "I ..or the dark me, attacked Raph. I am still a danger to everyone. Can you imagine what would happen if this...this Dark Donatello suddenly got in control?" Donatello asked. "I have nothing more than Dissociative Identity Disorder." Donatello said with a wild shake of his head. "Also known as Multiple Personality Disorder." He said at his brother's confused looks. "Trust me, this dark part of me is worse than Raph on a really, really, bad day."

"Hey!" Raphael protested.

"No offence." Donatello apologized quickly to Raphael, but kept his attention focused on Leonardo.

"Donny, what else did this Dark Donatello tell you?" Leonardo asked, ignoring his heated outburst.

Donatello let out a puff of irritated air. "Nothing that made any sense." He growled as he began to pace back and forth in agitation.

"Humour me." Leonardo encouraged.

Donatello ran his hands down over his face as he tried to remember what his dark self had said. "He told me he was disappointed in me because I haven't thought about every possibility, and that I have to accept the possibility that what I am seeing is true; So I am assuming he is talking about my visions and dreams, and that what I am living is not untrue. So he is basically saying that everything is true, which makes no sense." Donatello said in irritation.

"Then he told me to figure out how to make it make sense and to stop thinking that we are insane. Then he tried to make what he had said clearer by saying that all of the visions are true, and that what I am living is just a _different _truth. Which still makes no sense! If something is true then it can't be _not _true, or differently true!" Donatello exclaimed in angry frustration.

His brothers were silent for a moment before Leonardo ventured another question. "Why did you give Dark Donatello wings and a tail?" Leonardo asked curiously.

"I don't know." Donatello answered with a shrug. "When he attacked Raph he had this look on his face and his fangs were bared and he said that he had a Mistress and for some reason I thought of him as a demon pet, so...I suppose that is why I imagined him with wings and a tail." Donatello finished with a disheartened shrug.

"So, what, you think Donny's possessed?" Raphael questioned Leonardo who looked to be thinking furiously.

Leonardo leveled a glare at Raphael.

"What?" Raphael asked innocently.

"I'm not possessed, Raph." Donatello hissed at Raphael. "I have a brain injury that has caused me to...to become aware of a dark side of my personality that has probably been buried, and that now, for reasons I don't know, I am aware of him. I am dangerous, Raph."

"Bullshit." Raphael snapped. "You ain't dangerous, Donny."

"I could have killed you!" Donatello shouted.

"But you didn't!" Raphael shot back.

"We should talk to Master Splinter. "Leonardo interjected firmly.

Donatello turned worried eyes towards Leonardo. "Leo, I can't." Donatello shook his head. "Master Splinter can't help me. It is psychological. "

"Donny, regardless you have to explain to Master Splinter what is going on." Leonardo told Donatello gently.

Donatello's shoulders slumped in defeat. "Okay, Leo." Donatello agreed reluctantly as he walked past the printer, grabbing the syringe that lay on the table as he walked back to his computer desk, his back to his brothers. "Leo, Raph, I want you to know that I will always love you... I love all of you, and that this is for the best. You'll see." Donatello told his brother's quietly as he plunged the needle into his leg and injected the contents in one swift movement.

"Donny!" Raphael and Leonardo's voices screamed as Donatello 's world went fuzzy, then black, and he felt nothing.

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**thoughts and opinions are always welcome!**


	6. Chapter 6

**A huge thank you to Amonraphoenix for beta reading this chapter for me, and for letting me pick her brain for the medical info! Thank you sooo much!**

**Also thank you to my reviewers Mela989898, randomchick16, I love kittens too and Guest for your support!**

**And Mela here it is finally:) hope you enjoy!**

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Chapter 6

**Raphael** had walked into Donatello's lab with a heavy heart and an even heavier burden of guilt. He wished that Leonardo had not seen the bruises that marred his throat. He wished that Leonardo had not planted the seed of doubt that rang in his ears and trembled in his heart; that Donatello had intentionally drugged him and tried to kill him.

The resigned and miserable look on Donatello's face when he and Leonardo had walked into Donatello's lab had nearly broke him. Donatello's face had paled when Leonardo had leveled his accusations against Donatello, for which his brother had not been able to supply an explanation.

It was then that Raphael's heart had lodged painfully in his throat as he watched his brother plunge the needle into his leg, saying that it was 'better this way'. As far as Raphael knew the syringe could contain enough drugs to make Donatello drowsy, make him pass out, or worst case scenario... kill him outright. The thought that Donatello would try to end his life burned a hot, sickening feeling of dread and horror through him as Raphael lunged at his brother, fearing the worst; which was that there was a high enough dose of drugs in the syringe to kill his genius brother.

Raphael had managed-just in time- to pull the syringe from his brother's leg and throw it to the ground; where Leonardo had quickly retrieved it, to keep Donatello from recovering it.

Raphael's mind thought furiously, realizing that Donatello had finally reached the end of his rope, and was probably going to hang himself with it. Raphael wanted to be able to convince Donatello of his innocence, but was unable to think of any way to prove it in light of the damning evidence against him.

It was then that Raphael's mind had hit upon the idea of a blood test. Raphael couldn't think of any possible reason that he hadn't fought back against his attacking younger brother unless he had been drugged; but stranger things had happened and he had refused to believe that Donatello was capable of killing him.

Raphael had felt his shoulders slump with relief when Leonardo had read out the results of the blood test. But the results didn't seem to comfort Donatello any. Leonardo's mind had seemed to hit upon something, though Raphael wasn't sure what that something was. But whatever idea was rolling around in his oldest brother's mind, Donatello insisted that their father would be unable to help him. Donatello was convinced that whatever was wrong with him, was psychological, and he was a danger to everyone around him.

Leonardo insisted and Donatello reluctantly agreed to talk with Master Splinter. Raphael watched Donatello walk dejectedly towards his computer desk. Raphael felt his shoulders tense, wondering if what Donatello had said was true; that he was suffering a psychological break down. And yet last night, Raphael had been so sure- absolutely convinced- that Donatello was just suffering from some bad dreams; and that he wasn't going insane. But now Raphael wasn't sure what to think. Leonardo seemed to think that there was something more spiritual wrong with Donatello, but Donatello believed it was all psychological.

Though Raphael supposed it didn't matter either way; Donny was broken and Raphael didn't know how to fix him.

His eyes strayed to where Leonardo had placed the syringe and found it to be gone. Raphael's heart suddenly began hammering furiously in his chest as a sickening surge of dread slid across his skin. Raphael's eyes flew to where Donatello was standing with his back towards them. Raphael was unable to even get the shouted words of horror out before Donatello started to fall to the ground in a boneless heap.

"Donny!" Raphael screamed at the same time Leonardo did. Raphael moved forward in panic, but Leonardo was faster, managing to catch Donatello before his head slammed into the unforgiving stone floor.

Leonardo lay Donatello gently on the ground, his fingers frantically searching for a pulse as Donatello's skin became more and more pallid, his body lying ever so still in Leonardo's arms.

Raphael looked at Leonardo desperately, unable to ask his older brother if Donatello was even still alive; but unable to not know the answer to the horrifying question.

"He's alive ." Leonardo quickly answered the unspoken question that lay in Raphael's eyes. Donatello's forehead began to bead with sweat as Leonardo looked at Donatello's still body grimly. "But I don't..." Donatello's body started to spasm as Donatello made a gurgling noise deep in his throat, that was sure to give him nightmares. Leonardo quickly rolled Donatello onto his side and raised Donatello's upper body higher.

"Leo!" Raphael yelled in horror as Donatello began vomiting violently onto the floor. The stench of stomach acid permeated the air, causing Raphael's' own stomach to rebel slightly. Raphael swallowed down the bile and disgust that burned in his throat as terror replaced every other feeling.

Leonardo steadied Donatello, and with wide eyes, looked at Raphael with horror. "I...I think he overdosed." Leonardo whispered in shocked terror as Raphael looked on helplessly.

Suddenly Donatello's body began to shake violently, his eyes opening slightly before rolling back into his head. Only the whites of his eyes showed as sticky white foam dribbled from his mouth.

"What's happening to him!" Raphael cried out in fear, as he helped Leonardo hold his brother's thrashing body down.

"Seizure." Leonardo bit out as Donatello's body stopped convulsing as quickly as it had begun. "Donny!" Leonardo shouted desperately, shaking Donatello's limp shoulders as Raphael waited for Donatello to make any sign that he was still alive.

"Donatello!" Leonardo cried out wretchedly, anguish lacing his words as he shook Donatello more firmly. There was a desperate edge to Leonardo's voice that caused fear to skitter along Raphael's skin and slide down his spine. Donatello did not respond to Leonardo's anguished shout, only lying on the floor, so utterly still and lifeless.

Leonardo frantically searched for any signs of life, placing his shaking fingers upon Donatello's throat, trying in vain to find a pulse. Quickly giving up this fruitless task, Leonardo lay his head upon Donatello's chest, listening intently for even the faintest heartbeat. "Don't you dare!" Leonardo hissed in disbelief as he continued to listen to Donatello's chest.

"Leo?" Raphael questioned in a small voice that didn't even sound like his own, tears of disbelief and grief stinging his eyes.

Leonardo looked at Raphael with tear filled, desperate, eyes as Raphael turned his attention back to Donatello.

"He doesn't have a pulse!" Leonardo whispered wretchedly as his eyes frantically scanned the room in desperation, looking for some way to save their brother's life.

"Get the defibrillator!" Leonardo ordered as Raphael scrambled to his feet, searching for what he knew was the machine with the paddles. Leonardo began manually pumping Donatello's chest and breathing into Donatello's mouth, as Raphael managed to find the bag that held the life saving machine. Grabbing it he quickly placed it on the floor beside Leonardo, who checked Donatello's pulse again, shaking his head furiously from side to side.

"You son of a bitch!" Raphael roared at Donatello, tears streaming down his cheeks.

Leonardo swiftly unzipped the bag, dragging the paddles out, and attaching the needles that would be used so that the electric current would be able to make it to Donatello's heart; their plastrons being too thick for the electric charge to fully penetrate properly.

"Charging." Leonardo barked, the machine buzzed, letting out an ear piercing whine.

Raphael took Donatello's shirt in his hands and ripped the fabric, tearing it from Donatello's chest.

"Clear!" Leonardo shouted as he jabbed the needles into Donatello's chest; his body jumping violently as the charge shot through his lifeless body.

Another presence entered the room, but Raphael was too intent on what was happening to pay too much attention to who had walked into Donatello's lab.

Raphael's fingers flew to Donatello's throat, trying desperately to find a pulse and found nothing. "Donny, I swear to God that if you die, I will kill you!" Raphael roared as Leonardo yelled 'charging' again. Raphael removed his fingers and Leonardo stabbed the needles back into Donatello's chest, which again bucked violently beneath the charge of electricity.

Raphael's shaking fingers desperately searched Donatello's throat again, hoping and praying for the light flutter of a heart beat. "Leo..I ...I can't..." Raphael choked out in horrified disbelief as Leonardo threw the needles aside and checked Donatello's throat himself.

Leonardo's shoulders slumped and his eyes closed.

Raphael shook his head wildly back and forth. "NO." Raphael whispered in denial. "Donny!" He roared in grief stricken agony.

"He's got a heartbeat, Raph." Leonardo said gently as he firmly grabbed Raphael's shoulder.

Raphael felt fresh tears sting his eyes and roll down his cold cheeks, relief flowing through him, followed by an intense anger. "Donny, when you wake up I swear I am gonna kick your ass! You bastard!" He shouted at his unconscious brother. "How DARE you do this to us!" He roared in fury.

"R-Raphie?" Michelangelo questioned softly.

Raphael snapped his head in the direction of the shaky voice and looked at his baby brother. Michelangelo was kneeling on the floor, tears of misery and confusion in his eyes.

"He's gonna be fine, Mikey." Raphael growled as his eyes moved past Michelangelo's to those of his father, who somehow looked older and more frail, his fur damp with already shed tears. "He's gonne be fine." He reiterated, as if somehow repeating his words would make them true.

* * *

**Donatello** woke up with his head lying on his computer desk. He was confused for a moment, as if his mind was not functioning properly. His head felt as if it was filled with cotton balls and his mouth tasted metallic and unpleasant.

He lifted his head from his keyboard, his eyes straining to focus. His blurry world finally managed to snap into focus and he looked into the blazing, furious, red eyes of his Darker self.

"You stupid BASTARD!" He yelled, picking Donatello up by his shirt front and throwing him across the room.

Donatello hit the opposite wall with a sharp crack of his carapace striking stone, air whooshed out from his lungs before he fell to the floor, gasping for air. His Dark self seemed to be struggling to breath as well, but still managed to lift Donatello up the wall by his throat with one hand.

His Dark self's lips pulled back from his teeth exposing his sharp canines, his red eyes blazing with anger. "You almost killed us!" He roared as he punched Donatello in the jaw.

Donatello saw stars flicker in front of his eyes as Dark Donatello dropped him, clutching his own cheek in pain.

"Wha-?" Donatello didn't even manage to get the confused question out before Dark Donatello grabbed him by the shoulders, and punched him hard across the face again.

Dark Donatello winced at the blow, but managed to grind out through clenched teeth, "Correction, you did kill us!"

Donatello felt his eyes widen in shock as he became suddenly light headed. "I-I'm ...dead?" He stammered in a horrified voice so filled with shock, that it came out fainter than the barest whisper.

Dark Donatello's crimson eyes narrowed, his pupils dilated to nothing more than a thin slits of rage. "No. No thanks to you and your little stunt with the Sodium Pentothal."

"What stunt?" Donatello asked in confusion. "I gave myself enough to make me groggy."

"Yeah?" Dark Donatello questioned. "Then if you are so groggy, why are you here?" He growled as Donatello looked around his lab that was not his lab in shock. "Yeah genius. You're just lucky Leonardo was swift enough to roll us onto our side so that we didn't choke on our own vomit. He also managed to get our heart going again after it stopped."

"I-I... No... It's impossible." Donatello said shaking his head back and forth in denial.

Dark Donatello's grip tightened on Donatello's shirt pulling it tighter across his neck so he wasn't able to breathe. Dark Donatello's grip lessened slightly so Donatello was able to take a shaky breath.

"It's not impossible." Dark Donatello growled. "You were too busy blubbering all over the place, thinking that you were such a huge danger to your family, that you couldn't even read the numbers on the syringe anymore!" Dark Donatello snapped angrily. "So you overdosed us and killed us!" He roared as his knee came up and slammed into Donatello's plastron, right below his stomach.

Donatello doubled over in pain as Dark Donatello stumbled back.

"Why do you keep doing that!" Donatello exclaimed, realizing that any physical attack that Dark Donatello did upon Donatello, was felt his Dark self as well.

"Because I am furious!" Dark Donatello roared as he lashed out a snap kick to Donatello's head.

Donatello manage to move enough so that the kick was only a glancing blow, but it was still punishing enough that Donatello fell to the ground, his vision swimming alarmingly.

"AARRRGGGHHH!" Dark Donatello yelled in frustration. "This is getting me nowhere!"

Donatello was suddenly dragged to his feet. He shook his head a few times trying to clear it. Donatello looked into Dark Donatello's eyes, which had shifted to a more golden-red colour. He still seemed angry, but somehow more thoughtful.

"The noises behind that door in the living room, have ceased." Dark Donatello growled.

Donatello's eyes widened in shock at the swift change in topic. "What?" He asked in confusion.

"And I have a bad feeling that it is not a good thing for them to have stopped." Dark Donatello continued, letting go of the front of Donatello's shirt.

Donatello almost stumbled but managed to catch himself as Dark Donatello moved away, striding towards the living room.

Donatello rubbed his throat, but swiftly followed behind his Darker self's swirling, black trench coat.

"We are running out of time." Dark Donatello threw over his shoulder. He walked directly to the metal door that Donatello had been unable to open the last time he had tried. Dark Donatello placed his ear against the door. "There is a little scraping, but nothing like before, almost as if whatever or whoever is behind there is growing...weaker..." Dark Donatello said as he walked towards Donatello again.

"What do you mean, we're running out of time?" Donatello asked in a quiet voice, glancing at the door in uncertain confusion.

"I don't know." Dark Donatello growled. "It is like a heavy weight that is pulling on me, giving me a sense of urgency, but I do not know what it pertains to. Although, I believe it to have something to do with this blasted door."

Donatello continued to stare at the door in confusion.

"We aren't insane, so perhaps it is time for you to figure it out!" Dark Donatello snapped, his fangs bared dangerously.

"I've tried!" He shouted back at his Darker self.

"No you haven't." Dark Donatello retorted angrily. "You keep thinking you are insane, so you don't try to figure out what's really happening!" Dark Donatello barked, pausing in thought for a moment before continuing. "Perhaps it is time for me to take matters into my own hands."

Donatello felt an icy finger of dread slide down his back. "What do you mean?" He asked with trepidation.

"Maybe some time in here will help you to remember what is true. Poke and prod around, maybe you will remember something useful." Dark Donatello growled as he brushed past Donatello.

"Wait, I don't understand!" He shouted at his Darker self's retreating back.

"Figure it out!" Dark Donatello snapped. "Though I will admit, this is going to be interesting" Dark Donatello mused with a sardonic smile.

"W-wha?" Donatello stammered out in confused horror, but Dark Donatello had vanished.

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**Thoughts and opinions are always encouraged!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hello all,:)**

**As always a big thank you to Amonraphoenix for her mad beta reading skills and medical knowledge! And to Dondena for her awesome editing skills as well!**

**Also a big thank you to Mela989898, I love Kittens too and Heather for your awesome reviews!:)**

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Chapter 7

**Raphael** looked at Donatello as he let out a pain filled groan.

"Leo!" Raphael shouted anxiously, standing slightly as he yelled over his shoulder for his older brother.

Leonardo quickly ran into the lab just as Donatello slowly opened his eyes.

Leonardo rushed to Donatello's side, Raphael stepping back slightly to allow his older brother to get closer. Leonardo knew more about medical things than Raphael did, though not as much as Donatello of course. Though Raphael had read over his older brother's shoulder when Leonardo had googled drug 'overdoses', to learn how to care for Donatello after his near-death, overdose experience.

Donatello groaned louder this time, clutching at his head. "Wha-?" He managed to slur out.

"Hey, Donny." Leonardo said gently, sitting down on the chair next to Donatello's cot. "How are you feeling?" He asked softly.

Donatello only groaned in answer.

Raphael was tempted to rush up to his weakened brother, pick him up, and punch him in the face for trying to kill himself. Instead, Raphael remained where he was.

Leonardo's hand reached out and placed a few fingers on his brother's neck, checking his pulse. He then moved his hand to Donatello's forehead, which had beaded in sweat.

"His pulse is slow and he has a slight fever." Leonardo informed him. Raphael's raised an eye ridge in concern, but nodded in understanding. According to several websites they had visited, the side effects Donatello was experiencing were expected.

Donatello struggled to sit up.

"Hey there, Donny. Just lay back down." Leonardo told their brother, placing a light hand on their brother's shoulder to gently push him back onto the bed.

Donatello ignored Leonardo and ran a shaking hand down his face. "What happened?" He asked in a hoarse whisper.

Raphael and Leonardo exchanged a look. They had discussed what they were going to tell Donatello about his suicide attempt. They had both agreed not to address it until Master Splinter had been able to first talk with Donatello. Until then, they were to only tell him that he was 'sick'.

Donatello groaned again and slid a shaky leg off the side of the bed. "I remember now." He grumbled as he pushed Leonardo away.

"Donny, just lay back down." Raphael snapped as worry skittered down his back. He didn't understand why his brother wanted to get out of bed so badly. It was then Raphael remembered that one of the side effects of an overdose was confusion.

"Donny." Raphael placed a restraining hand on Donatello's shoulder, while Leo placed his hand in the center of Donatello's plastron. "Listen, you've been very... sick, and you need to just lay back down and rest." Raphael soothed, resisting the urge to forcefully push his brother back down onto the bed.

"This was a bad idea." Donatello moaned as he clutched at his head in pain.

Raphael felt relief that his brother was finally going to listen to them and just lay down and rest.

"Should have at least let that fucking bastard suffer the effects of what he did." Donatello growled fiercely under his breath.

Raphael felt his jaw fall open at Donatello's words. Donatello rarely swore, ever. And if he did, the circumstances were usually extreme. Although Raphael supposed being brought back from the dead, could qualify as extreme.

Leonardo gently pushed Donatello back down. "Come on, Donny. You've been through a lot. You need to rest." Leonardo gently urged their brother.

Donatello's hazelnut brown eyes flashed with anger. "Leonardo, if you dare touch me, or talk to me in that condescending tone again; I will rip your arms from their sockets and shove them down your throat." Donatello threatened as he weakly pushed Leonardo away.

Leonardo seemed so surprised by the outburst that he didn't even stop Donatello as he slowly slid from the bed and stood up.

Raphael heard his baby brother give a gasp from over his shoulder, and he realized that Michelangelo had just walked into the lab.

Donatello continued to talk, his voice hoarse and gravelly."If there is one of my dear 'brothers' that I hate almost as much as Raphael, it is you, Leonardo." Donatello spat out viciously.

A horrifying thought began to slowly creep through Raphael's mind as he watched Donatello waver slightly on his feet, his hand lashing out and using the bed to support himself.

Leonardo reached out automatically to help Donatello. "Don't touch me." Donatello hissed, his eyes narrowing in anger. "Your blade scarred my Mistress. Do not think I have forgiven you for spilling her precious blood. And I remember what you tried to do to her, laying your filthy hands on her and forcing yourself on her."

Leonardo's horrified eyes sought out Raphael, who did not know what to do or where to look. Michelangelo slowly approached Donatello, his hands raised up as if trying to calm a frightened animal that could attack at any moment.

"Donny?" Michelangelo asked in a small voice that shook with fear and worry.

"Well isn't this special." Donatello began shifting his focus to Michelangelo. "The gang's all here." He snorted. "You probably all thought Donatello was going to die." Donatello chuckled darkly. "All hovering around him anxiously hoping he would wake up from his ordeal and recover. Ah well, he'll live." Donatello took a step in the direction of the door.

"Donny, maybe you had better..." Raphael began as he too approached his younger brother, arms held out slightly in front of him.

"Still alive, Raphael?" Donatello questioned in a sardonic voice. "Too bad. Although there may be some small bit of satisfaction in killing you in the flesh, so to speak." He continued thoughtfully as he took a menacing step in Raphael's direction.

"Dark Donatello." Raphael whispered in horrified realization.

Donatello threw back his head and laughed viciously. "Maybe you aren't as stupid as you look." Donatello moved then, swiftly lunging forward, knocking them both onto the ground. Raphael's carapace cracking as it struck the hard stone floor hard.

Raphael looked up at his younger brother as his own sai was leveled dangerously at his throat. The metal was pressed into his skin and Raphael had to fight the urge to swallow.

"Donny!" Leonardo yelled in horror and anger. "Stop, right now!" He ordered desperately.

Donatello ignored Leonardo as Raphael's own sai pushed closer to his throat, breaking the skin and drawing blood.

"Donatello!" The sharp voice of their father rang throughout the room.

Donatello did not waver in is attention to Raphael, but he pulled the sai away from Raphael's throat. "I have things I have to do." Donatello said as he pushed himself away from Raphael.

"What is your problem?!" Raphael shouted at his brother as he scrambled to his feet. "Why you got such a problem with me anyway?!" He questioned as he rubbed his throat and looked at the blood that was now smeared across his fingertips.

"You took something that I wanted." Donatello growled.

"I never took anything that you wanted!" Raphael protested.

Donatello's eyes narrowed as his lips pulled away from his teeth in a snarl. "You..." Donatello managed to grab Leonardo's arm and duck out of the way, pulling Leonardo in and over his shoulder, throwing Leonardo brutally into the ground.

There was a loud crack as Leonardo's carapace struck the floor with bone jarring force. Donatello's knee smashed into Leonardo's plastron hard, knocking the wind from Leonardo's lungs. Donatello pushed his knee harder into Leonardo's plastron, not allowing Leonardo to regain his breath.

Raphael felt rooted to the spot, too shocked to even move as Leonardo's face began to go an alarming shade of dark green. Leonardo struggled against Donatello's weight, his eyes finally rolling up into his head.

"That is enough, Donatello!" Master Splinter ordered as he stepped closer to his violent son.

Michelangelo stepped hastily in front of their father as Donatello jerked his head around and glared at Master Splinter. Donatello slowly stood, turning towards Michelangelo and Master Splinter. Leonardo lay limply at Donatello's feet, his body terrifyingly still.

"You three are starting to annoy me." Donatello growled, taking a threatening step towards Michelangelo, who pulled his nunchucks from his belt nervously.

Michelangelo's face was pale and beaded with sweat, his eyes full of fear and confusion.

"All three of you frozen within the crystal is so much better." He snarled as he took another step towards Michelangelo.

"Donny?" Michelangelo asked, his voice shaking as tears trembled on his eye lids.

"Yes and no." Donatello answered cryptically.

Master Splinter stepped out from behind Michelangelo. "I sense a dark presence emanating from Donatello." Master Splinter whispered in horror.

"Heh, you have no idea." Donatello mocked, a smile spreading across his face, his focus remaining solely focused on Michelangelo. "Hmmm, I do not seem to have a problem with you, Michelangelo." He said thoughtfully before turning his attention to Master Splinter. "As for the Rat... Am I ever glad that I never had to deal with you." Donatello said with a cruel smile that froze Raphael's very bones to the marrow.

Master Splinter stepped in closer to Donatello, who was studying Master Splinter much like a cat would a mouse. Silent menace rolled off of every line of Donatello's taunt body. Donatello tipped his head to the side, like a bird examining his prey, his expression suddenly shifting from malicious to thoughtful.

"Donatello, I do not know what is going on, but you must lay down, my son. There is a dark presence that is overriding your aura." Master Splinter cautioned gently.

"Why haven't I had to deal with you?" Donatello asked himself thoughtfully, completely ignoring Master Splinter's words.

Leonardo rolled over, shaking his head as if to clear it before slowly getting to his feet. His dark eyes took in the situation and focused on his father, asking him what they should do.

Donatello began stalking a circle around Master Splinter and Michelangelo, his expression thoughtful, but still holding a hint of violent menace.

"What do you want?" Raphael growled, trying to turn Donatello's attention away from his baby brother and father, and back towards himself.

Raphael had never thought of Donatello as being dangerous. Out of all of his brother's, Donatello was the most passive, and the least likely to fight unless provoked. But right now, there was nothing of his passive brother in this dark, twisted version that stood before him.

"I am looking for something." Donatello replied distractedly.

"Yeah, what? And where the hell is the real Donny?" Raphael asked, not caring what their father or Michelangelo thought. The creature that was stalking around their father was NOT their brother.

"Busy." Dark Donatello swiftly answered.

Raphael watched as Leonardo readied himself. His older brother looked as if he was going to tackle Donatello, and probably try to restrain him somehow. Donatello should still be weak from the three days he spent lying on the cot, unconscious. Leonardo should have no problem restraining Donatello, but for some reason Raphael didn't think that it was going to be that easy.

"I know _of_ you, but I don't _know_ you." Donatello said to Master Splinter as he easily dodged Leonardo's tackle. Donatello paid no more attention to Leonardo -who hit the ground hard, recovering and rolling to his feet- than he would an annoying bug. "I _know _of you, but I do _not _know you." Donatello repeated. "That sounds True."

Raphael could swear he heard the capital letter 'T' in the word true, as if the word had more significance than what Raphael could comprehend at the moment.

Donatello swiftly turned and stalked over to his computer desk. He rolled the chair back and looked at it thoughtfully as it continued to roll. He then started going through the drawers and cabinets that lined the walls.

Raphael and his family could only stand back and watch in confused horror as Donatello carefully went through his own things, some of which he looked as if they confused him for some reason.

Donatello wandered back to the computer desk and sat down. He picked up the list that Raphael knew Donatello himself had written in regards to his theory on his sanity. Donatello tapped it thoughtfully against his lips before setting it down and typing on the computer. "Raphael, come here." Donatello ordered suddenly.

Raphael felt a finger of icy dread slide down his spine at his brother's request. Raphael took a step towards Donatello, but shot a look of inquiry to his father and older brother, who was slowly drawing his swords.

If Donatello felt at all threatened, he did not show it. Instead, he waved Raphael over, never taking his eyes away from the screen. "When was this written, and who wrote this?" He asked, pointing a finger at the screen.

Raphael sidled up next to Donatello, keeping out of arms reach and looking at the computer screen. It was the document that had the words 'HELP ME!' written over and over again.

"You did, four nights ago." Raphael answered quickly.

Donatello's head swiftly turned towards him. "I did not write this." He snarled, pointing at the screen.

"Sorry, Donny did." He corrected himself.

"If I recall the night in question correctly, I was busy with my fingers wrapped around your throat. And Donatello was busy trying to save you from my wrath. So if Donatello and I were both occupied at the time; then who wrote this?" Donatello questioned as he suddenly stood.

Raphael stumbled back as Donatello strode past him, heading for the door and exiting the lab. Raphael moved to follow, but was stopped by Michelangelo's frantic grip on his arm. "Raph...what's going on? What's the matter with Donny?" He whispered wretchedly. "Has he...is he...insane?"

"I believe it is possible that Donatello has been possessed." Master Splinter said gently.

Raphael felt his jaw fall open in shock. "Possessed?" Raphael heard himself repeat numbly.

"What do we do, Master?" Leonardo asked in worry.

"Let me think, Leonardo." Master Splinter answered.

"But...but we don't know any priests!" Michelangelo sputtered in panic. "Where are we going to find an exorcist?! I am pretty sure they don't list in the yellow pages! Then we would have to explain that we aren't the demons, but that one is possessing our brother!"

Donatello suddenly strode back into the room. "None of this is right." He growled under his breath. "All of this is True, but yet...not True. So that means what?" He asked himself as he began to pace back and forth, like a caged animal waiting for a chance to escape it's constricting confines.

"Give our brother back!" Michelangelo suddenly yelled, advancing on Donatello his nunchucks forming the sign of the cross in front of him.

"Mikey!" Raphael hissed in horror.

Donatello stopped pacing and turned his attention to Michelangelo. "What are you attempting to do?" Donatello asked in confusion.

Michelangelo looked at his nunchucks and held them towards Donatello again. "I'm... I'm trying to get you to get out of my brother's body!"Michelangelo answered bravely.

Donatello cocked his head to the side. "Like a... demon?" He asked in astonished confusion.

"You aren't my brother!" Michelangelo shouted back. "You.. you... Donny would never intentionally hurt or attack one of us. He's never mean, or hurtful, or violent in any way!" Michelangelo continued as Leonardo quietly circled Donatello, his swords set in a defensive position, ready to strike if need be.

Donatello seemed to think over Michelangelo's words. "True." He finally agreed, which shocked Michelangelo, judging by his brother's stunned expression. Donatello took a step towards Michelangelo. "But you see, unlike Donatello, my loyalty lies with one person and one person only; my Mistress. If any come between me and her, or harm her in any way, they will suffer the full extent of my wrath. No matter who they are to me, I will kill them; even if it means killing my own brothers to protect her."

Raphael felt rooted to the spot, unable to move as he listened to his brother -who wasn't his brother- talk about things that he could not fully comprehend. But Raphael noticed that Donatello had referred to them as his brothers, not his 'brothers', which gave him pause and only confused him even more.

"W-who's your Mistress?" Michelangelo asked in a shaking voice.

Donatello frowned deeply. "If I knew that, I would not be here." He growled. "I've tried to remember." He said as he passed a shaking hand across his brow, exactly like Donatello would when he was frustrated. "But it is like trying to take hold of the wind. The knowledge is right there, within my grasp, but I cannot reach it." Donatello suddenly turned his attention back to Michelangelo, who gave a slight start, whimpering in his throat at the sudden intensity of Donatello's piercing gaze.

"But I suppose you bring up a very interesting point." Donatello continued thoughtfully as he took a step towards Michelangelo, his plastron brushing up against Michelangelo's outstretched hands. The makeshift cross shook slightly as Michelangelo held his ground. "If I am a part of Donatello, but separate from him, what does that make me?" He asked tipping his head slightly to the side. "I am not possessing Donatello. Possession would indicate that I have the option of leaving, and that I am separate from Donatello. We are one being. We cannot be separated from each other. Though I suppose if that _were _possible, which I think highly unlikely, we would both die."

Leonardo sheathed one of his swords and carefully opened a cabinet, slipping something Raphael was unable to see, into his hand.

Michelangelo swallowed nervously, his shaking arms still outstretched as Donatello continued to talk. The rest of their family hung off of each word Donatello spoke.

"So, unless some particular event caused Donatello to turn into me, the question then becomes; what am I? And what would have made him like thi-" Donatello fell to his knees clutching his head in sudden, agonizing pain.

Leonardo moved swiftly forward, tackling Donatello from behind, and jabbing something into his arm. Blood dripped to the floor where it trickled from Donatello's nose and ears. Donatello's body twitched violently on the floor, Leonardo holding him tightly before Donatello went unnervingly still.

Raphael rushed forward , fear skittering down his spine as he wondered what Leonardo had injected Donatello with; and if his younger, genius brother, was even still alive after his grisly seizure.

Leonardo slid off of Donatello, quickly rolling him over and onto his side. Leonardo checked Donatello's throat for a pulse, slumping with relief and nodding indicating that their brother was still alive.

"What the hell did you do to him, Leo!?" Raph asked as he moved out of the way slightly as Master Splinter knelt on the floor next to Donatello's prone body.

"I injected him with a sedative, but...I don't think it caused the seizure. When Donny had told us earlier that he may become a danger to everyone, he was showing us what vials to use and the correct dosage to sedate him. He had placed a few in this cabinet, and I hoped than he hadn't done as he had earlier and overfilled the syringes. But the dosage seemed less than the syringe from three days ago." Leonardo informed him.

Raphael nodded slightly in relief, glad that Donatello was only sleeping, but now very worried as to why he had a seizure, and what they were going to find when his brother woke up.

All eyes turned beseechingly to their father, who laid his hands on Donatello's chest and closed his eyes.

After a few minutes Master Splinter pulled his hands away from Donatello's plastron and shook his head sadly. "I feel a dark presence within Donatello, but I believe what Donatello said was correct." He paused as Raphael looked at his father, fearing what his father was about to say. "I can only sense Donatello's aura and spirit. This darker presence, this 'Dark Donatello', is as Donatello supposed earlier; another personality. However, this other personality is much more vicious, violent, and has a stronger amount of psychic power than Donatello ever possessed." Master Splinter finished wretchedly.

"So... Donatello has Multiple Personality Disorder?" Leonardo asked miserably, his gaze straying towards Donatello's unconscious form.

"Yes. I believe that is accurate." Master Splinter agreed.

"So what do we do?" Michelangelo asked in a small, shaking voice.

"We will deal with Donny's condition." Leonardo began. "And we will support him as best as we can." Leonardo answered Michelangelo's question.

"But how?" Michelangelo asked, his eyes pleadingly turned towards Leonardo, as if he could supply them with all of the answers. "We can't... We can't strap him to a bed and... and just keep drugging him." Michelangelo whispered in horror.

"We won't." Leonardo said, standing and walking over to Michelangelo. Leonardo reached out and placed a comforting hand on Michelangelo's shoulder. "We will do everything we can to help Donny. We will do research and find out a way to maybe make it so that Dark Donatello doesn't come out again."

Michelangelo nodded, his eyes lighting with a small ray of hope that Leonardo offered.

"Donny was right though," Leonardo began as he looked over at Donatello's unmoving form lying on the ground. "Dark Donatello is much worse than Raph on a very bad day." Leonard murmured darkly, no humour in his voice as he walked back to Donatello's unconscious body. Raphael leaned down and helped Leonardo pick Donatello up off the floor. They walked back over to Donatello's cot and gently laid him back down. Leonardo's hands hovered over the restraints that Donatello had welded to the metal frame a few days earlier.

Raphael looked at Leonardo, horror filling his eyes as Leonardo came to a decision, and slipped the restraints over Donatello's wrists and ankles, securing him to the bed.

Raphael felt his heart clench with horrified grief at the sight of Donatello strapped down to the bed.

Master Splinter walked up to Donatello's bed and laid a gentle hand on Donatello's forehead. Their father looked close to tears, but seemed to be attempting to hold back his emotions for the sake of his sons.

"What if... what if it isn't Donny who wakes up?" Michelangelo asked, his gaze going back and forth between Master Splinter and Leonardo.

"I sense that there is a deep spiritual disconnect within Donatello's mind. I am going to meditate on this matter and attempt to find a solution. As for Dark Donatello, you must remember that he is still Donatello, your brother. Although this new personality seems prone to violence, I believe that he is still able to be reasoned with." Their father removed his hand from Donatello's forehead and walked slowly out of the lab, his walking stick making sharp clicks on the stone floor as he left.

Leonardo answered Michelangelo's question. "We will cross that bridge when we get to it Mikey. The only thing we can do now is be prepared for Dark Donatello, if it is him who surfaces." Leonardo answered his baby brother, gazing at the restraints miserably.

* * *

**Donatello** paced around the living room of the lair, deeply agitated and worried. He knew that his darker self was controlling his physical body at the moment. He couldn't even explain how he knew, he just did. He knew exactly what his dark self was doing, but it was not like he was looking through his own eyes and unable to stop his darker self's actions. Instead, it was as if the memories of what he was doing were drifting -already made- into his own mind.

Donatello briefly wondered if this was how Dark Donatello knew everything that was happening when Donatello was in control of his own body.

Dark Donatello suddenly appeared in front of him. Donatello was not surprised but this, knowing that Leonardo had managed to successfully drug Dark Donatello.

Donatello was already moving, his fist lashing out and striking Dark Donatello in the jaw. Pain bloomed in agonizing waves across his own jaw. Donatello stumbled back, clutching at his aching face as he tried to regain his breath. For some reason his punch had hurt him much worse than his punch to Dark Donatello should have.

"Hurts doesn't it?" Dark Donatello mocked, rubbing at his jaw, a sardonic half grin on his face.

"Why does that hurt me more than it hurts you?" Donatello gasped as he straightened from his slightly hunched position.

Dark Donatello shrugged. "Hells if I know."

"And why did you attack Raph and Leo?" He asked, advancing on his darker self angrily.

"Because they piss me off!" Dark Donatello answered. "I like them so much better entombed within that large chunk of rock!" Dark Donatello growled back. "But it does make you wonder doesn't it? Why aren't they stuck within the confines of that crystal?" He asked thoughtfully.

Donatello paused in his anger fuelled advance.

"And why do we remember Master Splinter being dead, and yet here he is, alive and well and just as annoying as I would imagine him to be?" His Darker self asked.

Donatello thought furiously. He had done as Dark Donatello had instructed. He had snooped through the lair, and found that it was much different from where he lived. There were many similarities, but the differences ranged from, Raphael's room being across the hall from where it was actually located, to the devices in his lab being stored slightly differently and in different places; like the table that was behind his computer desk in his head, but not in waking life.

"You are acting like those visions were real." Donatello countered his dark self's observation.

"They were." Dark Donatello affirmed sternly. "You are not insane and you do not have Dissociative Personality Disorder."

"And if those visions were real, then what?" Donatello asked in frustration.

"You tell me." Dark Donatello countered with a smirk. "And by the way, I like the new get-up."

Donatello looked down at himself and saw that he was wearing exactly what his darker self was wearing. He pulled the tails of his black mask forward and gathered the folds of his trench coat around himself.

"Why can't you just tell me what's going on!?" Donatello yelled in frustration.

"Because I can't!" Dark Donatello shouted in frustration, pacing back and forth in sudden irritation. "You can figure this out." He ground out through clenched teeth, his fangs bared in a snarl, his trench coat whipping behind him like some dark, living creature. "When is everything True, but Untrue?" He asked unhelpfully.

"There can't be two truths!" Donatello yelled in frustration.

"You have two sets of memories. Two sets of..." Dark Donatello let the sentence hang.

"Realities." Donatello finished the sentence and frowned deeply in thought.

"There we go!" Dark Donatello said with a slightly mocking smile. "Two realities which means what?" He prodded.

The full impact of what Dark Donatello was suggesting hit him in the stomach like a sledgehammer.

"Yeah, so now we get to figure out what the in the seven hells happened." Dark Donatello said with a slight nod.

* * *

**Donatello** blurrily opened his eyes. His head felt as if it were filled with cotton, and his mouth tasted metallic and dry.

He had expected to be tried down to the bed after the rampage of his darker self, but he found his hands and feet to be surprisingly free; his body covered in a soft, warm blanket.

All of his brothers and his father were crowded around him expectantly.

"Donny?" Michelangelo questioned hopefully.

Donatello groaned and shook his head miserably. Fear flashed across Michelangelo's face as he scrambled back in horror. Raphael and Leonardo both tensed as Master Splinter just looked intently into his eyes.

"Sorry, Mikey, I didn't mean to scare you, it's me, Donatello." He told them all softly. "But I...I'm not... _**your**_ Donatello." He informed them miserably.

* * *

**Thoughts and opinions are always welcome!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Sorry this chapter took so long to post, got swamped and busy! But the next chapter should be up much, much sooner, I promise!**

**As always thank you so much to my beta Amonraphoenix for all of her lovely suggestions, and thoughts:D**

**Also thank you to AJB66613, I love kittens too, Heather, and Mela989898 for your wonderful reviews!**

**now please enjoy!**

* * *

Chapter 8

**Donatello** watched as Leonardo exchanged a look with Raphael and Master Splinter.

"Okay, Donny," Leonardo said soothingly.

"Don't patronize me, Leo," Donatello snapped. "You aren't my brother. _My_ brother... all of my brothers, are trapped within a the confines of a giant crystal; and have been that way for... for such a long time, that it feels like it's been forever." He bit out as the pain of having lost all of his brother's flowed through him.

He remembered, at least... he sort of remembered. It was still hazy -like the details were not quite concrete in his mind yet- but he remembered that the white haired demon had frozen all of his brother's within the crystal. He was the only one who had managed to escape her clutches. But he was... He frowned trying to remember why only he had managed to escape the demon's designs, and what he had done to try to free his brothers.

He glanced at Leonardo, who gave Master Splinter a look that indicated that they believed he was insane.

He shifted his focus and moved to slide off the bed. Raphael seemed to ready himself for a fight. "I'm not crazy, and I'm not going to hurt you, Raph." Donatello sighed miserably. "I am Donatello, but... I am a Donatello from a different universe, where things ended up... differently," he whispered bitterly.

They all stared at him in disbelief. Donatello continued. "I know how it sounds, but it is the only thing that makes any sense. I have two sets of memories and they are warring within me. I know which ones are true, and I know that the ones I have from here are false -at least- false to me. I don't know where your Donatello is, but I suppose if I am here, it is possible that he is taking my place in my world." His feet touched the cool stone of the floor and he wavered slightly on his feet.

"Donny..." Leonardo began, flicking a quick glance to Master Splinter before stepping forward and continuing. "You are _our _Donatello," he insisted.

Donatello shook his head. "No I-"

"Donny," Leonardo clutched his arm tightly pulling it up before his eyes. "I remember when you tripped and fell when you were eight years old and scraped your elbow." Leonardo said pointing to a light scar. "And this one when the Shredder cut you with his gauntlet, and this one when a Purple Dragon stabbed you with a knife. You are _our _Donatello, but you are very, very sick. We need you to lay back down and let us help you," Leonardo pleaded desperately, his eyes brimming with unshed tears that he was valiantly trying to blink back.

Donatello stared at his arm in confusion. He remembered each and every scar that Leonardo pointed out, but... "I was shot." He said suddenly. He remembered that a Purple...no not Purple; Red. A Red Dragon had shot him. And he had been dying. There was no one who could save him except... _Her._

_She_ saved him; pulled him back from the very brink of death. She had dug the bullet out of his body, stabilized him, and cared for him. He had already loved her, after that, he only loved her more. Her kindness, her dauntless and fearless spirit. Her green eyes gazing at him with returned love...

_Her green, tearful eyes filled with agonizing pain, her golden hair drenched with her own blood._

Donatello felt his world spin and blacken around the edges. He desperately pulled the neck of his shirt down, wanting to expose the scar from the bullet that marred his chest just above his plastron, and shoulder. Only... it wasn't there.

Leonardo was still holding his arm tightly in a grip of iron.

Donatello closed his eyes as a wave of black despair rolled over him. Something warm and wet was trickling down his face. He took a deep breath. _He was not insane._ _He was not insane._ He repeated to himself over and over. He knew the truth. He knew it and was more sure of it than anything, and yet...

A hand suddenly clamped down and squeezed his shoulder. "Okay ,Donny, I believe you." Raphael's gruff voice said gently.

Donatello's head snapped up as he searched Raphael's amber eyes in shock. Raphael held out a cloth, which Donatello used to dab at his bleeding nose. "You do?" He asked softly.

"Yeah." Raphael nodded. "Now how 'bout you lie down and get some rest and we'll figure this all out when you're feelin' better," Raphael soothed as he helped Donatello back over to the cot.

Donatello felt tears prick his eyes. "Thanks, Raphie," he said in a small, relieved voice.

Raphael nodded and took the cloth away from where Donatello had placed it against his nostrils. "You're good, bleeding's stopped," Raphael said as he pulled the covers up to his chin. "Get some sleep, Donny," he said gently and Donatello nodded, thankful to be able to close his eyes again. He felt exhausted and his world was still spinning slightly. He let out a relieved breath of air, and fell fast asleep.

* * *

**Raphael** tucked Donatello in. He could feel Leonardo's angry eyes boring into the back of his skull. Raphael swore he could even hear Leonardo's teeth grinding together in irritation.

Donatello closed his eyes and fell into sleep almost immediately.

"Raph." Leonardo snapped angrily. "You don't..." He continued, but Raphael turned and quickly put a hand over his older brother's mouth, silencing him.

He motioned with his head to talk outside of the lab. He let go of Leonardo's beak and walked towards the door. Master Splinter and Michelangelo followed silently behind them.

Michelangelo closed the door behind them, but Raphael didn't stop walking until he reached the kitchen. He took a glass from the cupboard and filled it with water. He gulped down the drink as his family waited patiently for him to speak. Master Splinter and Michelangelo had each taken a seat at the table, while Leonardo stood, arms crossed over his chest; every taunt line of his body radiating anger and disapproval.

Raphael carefully set the glass down before he spoke. "I lied," he stated bluntly. "But I figure it's better me telling Donny I believe him, than him thinkin' he's insane and thinkin' too hard. If you haven't noticed every time Donny tries to 'remember' something or thinks too hard, he starts bleeding; bleedin' from his nose, his ears...hell, even his eyes. I would rather lie to his face than have him start bleeding again, and havin' another seizure. Cause I don't know how much more his noggin' can take before he just... before he just doesn't wake up anymore. And I would rather have an insane brother than a dead one, so if I gotta pretend that he is the 'other' Donatello, then I am." Raphael huffed out trying to blink back the tears that suddenly formed in his eyes.

Leonardo looked at Raphael in shock. His body eased and lost its taunt anger. He uncrossed his arms and walked over to the table, falling down heavily into his seat. "What do you think, Sensei?" Leonardo asked quietly, defeat pulling his shoulders down slightly.

"I do not know if it is wise to perpetrate this lie.." Master Splinter raised his hand, silencing Raphael's objection before he was able to speak it. "But I cannot dismiss Raphael's observation. When trying to convince Donatello that he is insane, he only fights against our assertions and becomes ill. Perhaps a wiser course may be to support Donatello in his delusion, and perhaps he will realize -in time- that he is _our_ Donatello; and that he is indeed very ill and has need of our assistance." Master Splinter finished.

They all remained silent for a few minutes contemplating their father's words. "I don't like this, Master Splinter," Leonardo finally said, breaking the grim silence that had fallen over the kitchen. "I think it will only hurt Donny worse in the end."

All eyes turned to Michelangelo who had remained oddly silent. His elbows where on the table, his fingers interlaced and resting on his forehead, his head bowed slightly.

"What do you think, Michelangelo?" Master Splinter asked gently.

"I think..." Michelangelo began softly, finally lifting his head up and looking at his family. "I think that if Donny gets better -even if it means he doesn't really think he's our brother anymore- that it's better than having him drugged and strapped down to a bed. I can't do that to him, and maybe... maybe if we pretend we believe him, that Dark Donatello won't come out anymore."

"Mikey..." Raphael began, approaching his baby brother.

"Raph, that...that Donatello was... He scared me. I never thought I would ever be scared of my own brother, especially not Donny, but... I was scared." Michelangelo admitted, his voice shaking slightly.

Leonardo placed a comforting hand on Michelangelo's shoulder. "Okay, Mikey." Leonardo said, reluctantly agreeing to Raphael's course of action.

None of them wanted Michelangelo to be frightened or upset. They all wanted to protect him as best as they could, from everything, even if it meant protecting him from Donatello.

Raphael gave Michelangelo's other shoulder a comforting squeeze before turning and walking out of the room. "I'll just go and check on Donny," he threw over his shoulder as he left.

He walked back to the lab, his mind in turmoil. He wasn't sure where the lies started or ended anymore. He entered Donatello's lab and closed the door behind him. He leaned against the metal door and closed his eyes, dragging weary fingers down his face as he tried to clear his mind.

He believed Donatello. He had been telling his younger brother the truth when he had said he believed him. He didn't know why. All the evidence pointed to Donatello being one brick short of a full load and yet...something made him believe Donatello's words.

Maybe he just wanted to believe because it was easier to believe that Donatello wasn't _their _Donatello, than believing that Donatello was insane.

Raphael pushed himself away from the door and walked over to Donatello's cot. His brother was sleeping, though seemed to be having some sort of dream, because his face and arms were twitching slightly. He wasn't sure if it was a good dream or a nightmare, and Raphael didn't want to wake him. He turned and walked over to the computer. He sat down heavily in front of the monitor and turned it on.

Although he had told his family a lie when he had said he had lied to Donatello, everything else he had said had been true. Trying to convince Donatello that he was insane seemed to be making him worse, and he refused to sit back and push Donatello to the very brink, probably killing him in the process.

Raphael leaned forward. He searched Multiple Personality Disorder, which re-directed him to Dissociative Identity Disorder or DID. His eyes scanned the pages looking for information on the disorder his family believed Donatello to have. He frowned, not being able to understand most of the medical jargon that was splashed across the computer screen, but he was able to understand a few key facts. The first being that there were usually several personalities. Raphael could count three; Donatello, 'Donatello' and Dark Donatello. The problem was that all three personalities were not supposed to exist at the same time, or be the same person with the same name. Usually the other personalities were separate from each other, and had different names. Donatello and 'Donatello' were the same, but 'Donatello' had different 'memories'. Dark Donatello was definitely separate, but Donatello seemed to be aware of him and even had conversations with him. Secondly, most people with DID were usually involved in a traumatic incident that left them mentally scarred, not a physical trauma like a bump to the head.

Raphael was no doctor, but it just didn't add up. And besides, Donatello had been acting strange since his bump on the head; even when he hadn't known there was anything wrong with him. And talking with Dark Donatello made Raphael believe that there was something else going on. What it was, he had no idea, but he was going to help Donatello any way he could; even if it meant lying through his teeth to his other brothers and his father if it would keep them off Donatello's back, and prevent them from bodily strapping him down to a bed and drugging him.

That thought alone made Raphael's skin crawl with horror. He looked over at Donatello's sleeping form, wondering what his brother was dreaming about.

Michelangelo suddenly burst into the lab, breathless and panicked. "Raph, " he began, "we've got trouble."

Raphael quickly stood, took one last look at Donatello's sleeping form, and followed Michelangelo from the lab.

* * *

**Donatello** sat down on the grass beside the woman he loved. He knew each and every detail of her face and body like he knew his own, and yet he could not remember her name, and he could only remember fragments of her in his memories.

"Why can't I remember who you are?" He asked her. He leaned in closer, gently touching the soft velvet plane of her pale cheek.

"Because names are important, and names hold power," she answered as she looked at him. The wind softly rustled her hair, a black butterfly landing on her shoulder.

He shifted slightly and pushed her down into the soft grass. "I failed you," he whispered.

"No, you never failed me, Donatello," she said as she gently stroked his cheek lovingly.

"You're dead because I couldn't protect you," he told her wretchedly.

"Do not blame my death on yourself, Donatello. My Fate was determined long ago. Death...death could never keep up apart. You are my soul mate, Donatello, never forget this," she whispered as the dream faded and he lifted his head up from where it lay on his computer desk.

Donatello sighed in irritation, stood and slammed the chair back against the table behind him. He resisted the urge to take hold of the table and throw it across the room, but knew there would be no point. The damn thing would still be waiting there when he arrived again.

He stalked towards the living room, his black trench coat swirling around him like some dark, living creature.

"I want answers and I want answers, NOW!" He snarled at his darker self who was sprawled out on the couch.

His darker self only lifted a negligent eye ridge in response. "If I had answers, I would give them to you," he said with a shrug as he sat up.

"None of it makes sense! If I am me, and I know I am me, then how can I be a different version of me at the same time!" He shouted in exasperation.

His Dark self gave a small negligent shrug.

Rage boiled and swirled within his heart. He moved, suddenly standing in front of his darker self. "And you." The last word dripped with loathing. "If I am an alternate version of Donatello, who and what are you?"

Dark Donatello only smiled and gave another unconcerned shrug. "I wish I knew." He answered truthfully, which only sent Donatello into a more blinding rage.

Donatello picked up his darker self up by his black shirt and pulled a sword from where it was strapped across his carapace. He placed the razor sharp edge of the sword up against his darker self's throat. "I asked you a question," he snarled angrily.

Dark Donatello chuckled. "If I was to make a guess," Dark Donatello ventured. "I would say that I am you, and that you are me."

Donatello blinked in shock looking at the sword that was pressed up against Dark Donatello's neck.

He stumbled back in shock, dropping the sword to the ground. He looked at his hands as if they were not his own. "No," he said in denial as he shook his head back and forth. "I am n_othing_ like you," he bit out in loathing.

"Heh, maybe, maybe not," his Darker self answered cryptically.

Donatello ground his teeth in frustration. "Who is she?" He asked.

Dark Donatello's face went suddenly serious. "I don't know. I know I should not care about her. The only one I care about is my Mistress, and yet..." His voice drifted off, leaving the sentence unfinished.

"How can you have a Mistress?" Donatello asked in confusion. "Our loyalty has always been to our family and to Master Splinter; never anyone else. And I know I would never feely give anyone power over me."

Dark Donatello tipped his head to the side. "She is my world. I exist only for her, and because of her," he whispered wistfully.

* * *

**Raphael** wiped the blood from his split lip and hunched over slightly, catching his breath and trying to ignore the shooting pain in his left side. He pulled the shuriken from his side and let it clatter to the pavement. He placed pressure on the wound and quickly scanned the alley. The Foot soldiers had thankfully retreated with their tails between their beaten legs; which gave him time to make sure his brother's were okay.

His gaze found Michelangelo first. He was pulling himself up off the ground and shaking his head slightly from side to side, as if to clear it. "You okay, Mikey?" Raphael asked as he forced himself to straighten.

"Yeah." Michelangelo said as he gave Raphael a slight smile. "You?" He asked.

"I'm good," he said with a wave as he searched for his older brother, finally spotting him hunched over his sword, panting heavily.

"Leo?" He questioned as his brother suddenly fell forward, collapsing to the ground and remaining motionless. "Leo!" Raphael yelled in fear as he stumbled towards his oldest brother, falling to his knees beside his body that seemed to be lying so very still. Raphael watched in horror as dark crimson began to pool around his brother's body, flowing outwards in an ever increasing pool of his own blood.

Hands shaking, Raphael reached out and rolled Leonardo onto his carapace. Blood had soaked through his brother's shirt, over his chest, and down his left arm.

"Leo!" He shouted his fingers flying to his brother's throat to search for a pulse.

"Raphie?" Michelangelo questioned fearfully from over his shoulder.

"He's still alive, but we need to get him to Donny, now." Raphael answered briskly, trying to push down the growing fear that was painfully constricting his own heart.

He carefully picked his brother up off the ground, Michelangelo darting forward to pick up Leonardo's fallen katana from the garbage strewn asphalt.

"Raph, what... what does that mean?" His baby brother whispered.

Raphael looked up at the wall that Michelangelo was staring at in horror.

Raphael turned his head and looked at the message written in red spray paint across the brick wall;

_'Missing someone?' _

Was written in a scrawl along with a stylized turtle with a band of purple across its face. "I don't know," he answered truthfully. "And I don't care what sick little mind games the Shredder is trying to play. We need to get Leo to Donny, fast."

"But Raph-" Michelangelo began as he picked Leonardo's feet up so that they were quickly able to get Leonardo quickly to the van.

Michelangelo leapt into the back with Leonardo, placing pressure on the bleeding laceration while Raphael hopped into the driver's seat, starting the van up, slamming it into gear and flooring it.

"Donny's-" Michelangelo tried to finish his thought as Raphael rounded a corner too sharply.

"Donny with a messed up head is still better than no Donny at all," Raphael growled. He looked over his shoulder at his older brother whose face was much too pale.

"You hold on, Leo," he growled under his breath, turning his attention back to the road.

He silently cursed under his breath. When Michelangelo had run into the lab saying that there had been a robbery of a truck that had been transporting some sort of secret government weapon, Raphael knew that they had to go and stop whoever had stolen the transport truck. Leonardo and Master Splinter had agreed, even though they were a brother short they could not sit back and let someone get a hold of something that was no doubt, extremely dangerous and lethal.

They had discovered the missing truck and that the ones who had stolen the transport truck were the Foot Clan. They had managed to get the truck back and chased the retreating Foot ninja into the alley, before the Foot had fully retreated, their mission failed.

Raphael pulled into the garage; thankful that they had been so close to the garage entrance. He could only hope that they weren't too late.

Raphael leapt from the van and rushed around back, opening the double doors wide, and flooding the interior with artificial light.

Michelangelo looked at him with a tearstained face. "The...the bleeding...it...it won't stop," he choked out miserably.

Raphael leaned forward and grasped Leonardo's limp body, ignoring the throbbing pain in his own side as he hurried towards Donatello's lab.

He burst through the doors praying that Donatello was at least awake. Leonardo's chest was nothing but dark crimson, the white of his shirt no longer even visible.

"Donny!" He screamed as soon as he burst through the door.

Donatello was sitting at his computer desk, forehead resting against the hard, wooden surface.

Donatello's head snapped up in confusion, his eyes widening in horror as he quickly assessed the situation.

"Put him down on the table," Donatello briskly ordered and he quickly stood, striding over to where Raphael gently deposited Leonardo's lifeless form on the table that Donatello used for surgeries.

"What happened?" Donatello asked as he quickly took a pair of scissors and cut Leonardo's shirt from his body, exposing the laceration to the light.

"I don't know," Raphael answered shaking his head back and forth, panic beginning to well up from deep within him..

Donatello just nodded, grabbed a pad of gauze and placed it over Leonardo's wound. "Hold this," he commanded as he strode over to a series of drawers and began pulling out medical supplies and tools.

Raphael held the thick pad against Leonardo's chest and shoulder watching horror as blood began to soak right through the gauze.

Within moments Donatello was back, his hands covered in gloves, a mask over his face and all of his tools laid out on a tray beside him. "Raph, I need you to wash up, Mikey, I need you to go tell Master Splinter what happened, make him a cup of tea ,and stay with him," Donatello ordered in a voice that brooked no opposition.

Michelangelo took a step backwards, nodded his head, and ran from the lab. Their father had probably been woken up from his sleep by their commotion, and was most likely already on his way to the lab to find out what had happened.

"Mikey is so bad with blood, having him in here won't do me or him any favours," Donatello said as he pointed towards the sink and a set of surgical gloves.

Raphael frowned as he walked to the sink, washing his hands with whatever fancy soap Donatello used for doing surgeries. He quickly slipped on the gloves and rushed to Donatello's side. "Mikey doesn't have a problem with blood." Raphael told his brother softly.

Donatello paused for a moment with his inspection and nodded. "That's right, it's my Mikey who hates blood." He said as he injected something into Leonardo's arm and took up a metal device of some sort. He placed it into Leonardo's wound pulling it open further. Blood bubbled up more freely and Raphael looked at Donatello, desperately hoping that he knew what he was doing.

"The precise cut and the deep penetration indicates that he was stabbed with a very sharp sword." Donatello said as he took up what appeared to be a needle and thread. "It managed to avoid his heart, leaving only a superficial laceration to his chest. The sword also managed to miss damaging most of his muscle tissue, but it struck an artery. That is why there is so much blood. I need you to pinch off the artery right here while I sew it shut. I have to do it quickly because the longer his arm is without blood, the more chance he has of losing it."

Raphael felt himself pale in horror. "Is he...is he going to live?" Raphael asked shakily as he reached into the laceration and took hold of the rubbery artery Donatello indicated. Raphael swallowed roughly. The thought of Leonardo losing his arm was horrific -but even worse- was the thought of losing Leonardo forever.

He couldn't imagine losing his older brother; ever. His heart clenched as a wave of fear shook him as he waited for Donatello to answer the question that he needed to have answered. He didn't know what he would do if Donatello said that Leonardo wasn't going to make it, but one thing he knew for certain, was that if Leonardo died, the city streets would run with the blood of the Foot Clan.

"He'll need a blood transfusion, but as long as there are no complications from either the surgery or infection, he will recover," Donatello affirmed. "He was lucky, a few more minutes and he would have bled to death," Donatello said as he quickly and efficiently did what it was that Donatello did best; patched them up and made sure that they all lived to fight another day.

Raphael removed his fingers as Donatello began stitching the wound closed. Raphael placed and IV in Leonardo's arm and hooked him up to both a bag of blood and a saline drip.

Raphael wasn't sure how long the surgery had taken. It felt like hours -and maybe it had been, he wasn't sure- but he felt physically and emotionally exhausted.

Donatello wrapped a clean white bandage around Leonardo's chest and nodded, satisfied with his handiwork.

Donatello looked tired, with black circles smudged beneath his eyes. "He should be waking up soon," Donatello told him as Raphael gazed anxiously at Leonardo, pulling off his bloody gloves and grabbing Leonardo's limp hand.

"Raph, were you hurt? Your side, it looks like it was bleeding," Donatello questioned worriedly.

"The blood's not mine," he lied, more concerned about Leonardo than the puncture in his side. He would stitch himself up later, right now Leonardo needed him to be there and tell him to fight to wake up and get better.

Donatello sighed and shook his head. "Let me look, Raph. You bled enough that I can tell it's deep," Donatello said as he pulled Raphael's shirt away from his wound. "I can always tell when you're lying," he said as Raphael blinked at him in surprise. The blood had dried so his shirt was stuck to his body. Donatello grabbed some peroxide and a cloth, cleaning and disinfecting the wound before stitching it closed. "You have to be careful, Raph, and make sure you clean these injuries properly, otherwise they could get infected."

"Thanks, Donny, for everything," Raphael said, softly.

"I lost Leo once, and I wasn't going to lose him again. I lost all of you. If it is in my power to save any of you, I will," Donatello replied quietly, a hint of sorrow lacing his words.

Raphael blinked in shock at his brother's words and then remembered. Donatello wasn't really Donatello, or at least, he believed he was a different Donatello. And if he needed any more proof of this, his Donatello could never tell when he was lying; none of his family could. " Do you think... Do you think my Donny is okay?" He asked wondering how they were ever going to find their real brother, especially when their family didn't believe that he was missing.

Donatello continued stitching Raphael's side closed. "I hope so," he answered grimly. "Raph, we'll figure this out." Donatello met Raphael's eyes, his face serious and full of determination. Donatello glanced back down resuming his tedious task.

Raphael nodded glumly, tears springing to his eyes for some unknown reason."Is it... is it okay if I still think of you as my brother?" Raphael asked, his voice sounding oddly vulnerable and shaky, even to his own ears.

Donatello paused mid stitch. "I think... I think I'd like that," Donatello whispered as he looked back up at Raphael, his eyes containing the bright sheen of unshed tears.

* * *

**Thoughts and opinions are always welcome:D**


	9. Chapter 9

**Alright all, as usual thank you to my lovely Beta Amonraphoenix for Beta reading this chapter for me, awesome job as always!:) any mistakes made are mine. **

**Also thank you to my lovely reviewers I love kittens too, Heather and AJB66613!**

**please enjoy:)**

* * *

Chapter 9

**Donatello** removed the oxygen mask from Leonardo's face. His 'brother' had woken up yesterday, but he had been tired and lethargic, seemingly confused about what had happened; which was understandable. Leonardo had been unconscious for over 36 hours following the surgery. Donatello had begun to worry; fortunately Leonardo had regained consciousness yesterday. But he had still needed to remain on oxygen for another day, just to help with oxygenating his blood, since he had lost so much of it.

Donatello had informed Leonardo that his surgery had gone well and that he would be basically on bed rest for a week, and after that he could begin light activities for a month. By then Donatello would be able to determine the extent of the damage done to Leonardo's shoulder, and how extensive his physiotherapy would be.

Donatello had told his 'family' that Leonardo's best case scenario was that it would be six to eight months before he was ready to fight again. The very worst case scenario Donatello kept to himself, which was that Leonardo's arm would have to be amputated if infection set in. Instead he told his family the second worst case scenario, which was that Leonardo would be unable to fight with his left arm at all, possibly not even be able to fight ever again.

Donatello did not believe that Leonardo's injuries were that severe, but he was unable to give a more accurate prognosis until Leonardo's arm had begun to heal. His 'family' had been devastated by the news until Donatello had assured them that he did not believe that the worst case scenario he had told them of was going to happen, but that he had to tell them just so they would be able to prepare themselves if it did indeed occur.

"There you go, Leo," Donatello said with a gentle smile, injecting his brother's IV with pain medication and wrapping up the oxygen tank, mask, and putting them away.

"Donny," Leonardo called out weakly, his voice raspy from disuse. "Can you just tell me the truth; will I ever fight again?" He asked softly.

Donatello sighed and sat down on the chair that had been pulled up next to Leonardo's cot. Master Splinter, Michelangelo and Raphael were all training in the dojo, so it was just him and Leonardo in his lab at the moment.

Donatello thought back to the lengthy and complex surgery. He had of course been shocked when Raphael and Michelangelo had dragged a blood covered Leonardo into his lab, but one of his brothers being grievously wounded was not a new occurrence. It was horrifying, stressful, and something he would never get used to, however it was his reaction to all of the blood that bothered him the most.

The blood made him hungry.

He didn't want to drink Leonardo's blood that thought was repulsive to him, but he craved the warm coppery blood of the white haired demon. He knew that he could never share these particular thoughts with anyone, not even Raphael. He had then pulled his shocked, confused thoughts together and performed Leonardo's operation.

Donatello looked down at his growling stomach protesting its hunger. Since the surgery he hadn't been able to eat. Again food tasted rotten in his mouth, and even water was hard to get past his lips.

"I see," Leonardo said softly and Donatello's gaze shot to Leonardo's grim, distraught face. Donatello realized that he had waited too long to answer Leonardo's question.

"Leo, I can't honestly answer that question. I won't know anything until your shoulder heals. There was damage to your muscles, nerves and tendons... all we can do now is wait. But just because you may not be able to use that arm again, does not mean that you will never be able to fight again," Donatello put in encouragingly.

Leonardo paled and looked down at his heavily bandaged arm that was resting in a sling. "I could lose the ability to use this arm completely?" he asked miserably, his voice no more than a whisper.

"There is always that possibility, Leo. I'm not going to lie to you, I don't see the point, but there is also the possibility that you will make a full recovery as well. Most likely your recovery will end up being somewhere in the middle; lengthy, difficult, but if you put in the work and the dedication and you don't give up, you will most likely recover the use of your arm."

Leonardo was looking at him wide-eye, as if he was startled about something. "Leo-" Donatello began talking again but Leonardo just shook his head and attempted to sit up.

"Thanks, Donny," Leonardo interrupted as Donatello helped him to sit up. "And I mean thank you for everything. Raph said that you saved my life." Leonardo wouldn't meet Donatello's eyes and instead picked at his blanket with his good hand.

Donatello realized that Leonardo was miserable, but trying to hide his emotions, burying them deep where no one else could find them. Donatello thought about this for a moment. "Leo, I know you think I'm insane, and maybe I am, but you are still my brother -regardless- even if you're not. I know you don't believe me, but I remember the pain of losing you -of losing all of you- and that is a pain that I will fight against with my very last breath. I don't ever want to feel that kind of agony ever again, but also... I don't want any of you to ever have to experience it either, because the pain of losing a brother is beyond debilitating," he told Leonardo wretchedly in a quiet voice.

Leonardo looked up at Donatello in surprise and gave a slight nod of understanding. "Okay, Donny," Leonardo replied quietly.

Donatello wasn't sure what else to say, and he wasn't exactly sure if his words had the proper effect, so he gave Leonardo's good shoulder a comforting squeeze. "You need to sleep, you need your rest." Donatello said, turning to put the oxygen tank away and dispose of the needle.

"Donny?" Leonardo asked softly.

Donatello turned and looked at Leonardo over his shoulder.

"Do you remember when you pulled that knife from my side, and you were so nervous because the knife had grazed my liver…" Leonardo's voice trailed off slightly.

"Yes, it was my first surgery. I was scared you were going to die." Donatello said as he frowned in confusion. "My first surgery was when Raph was stabbed with a knife; he nearly died because he was hemorrhaging…."

Donatello felt blood begin to run down his face, his vision went spotted and dark as blinding pain shot through his mind. Donatello closed his eyes and didn't even feel it when he hit the ground, hard.

* * *

**Leonardo** felt tired and weak. He truthfully was on the precipice of sleep, the drugs Donatello had given him numbing his pain to bearable proportions. But he fought against the sleep that tried to drag him into its comforting, healing arms because he needed to talk to his brother while the rest of his family was not present. He needed to know if he would ever fight again, and he wanted the truth.

Donatello explained, trying to give him some small piece of hope that he would be able to fight again.

Leonardo understood, not quite believing Donatello's words. His thoughts turned dark and gloomy. Fighting, training, leading his brothers, these things were his life; it was all he knew how to do. He needed to be able to fight to protect his family. If he couldn't he was beyond useless to them. If he could never fight again, it would have been merciful for him to have bled out in that alley.

Donatello spoke then. "Leo, I know you think I'm insane, and maybe I am, but you are still my brother -regardless- even if you're not. I know you don't believe me, but I remember the pain of losing you -of losing all of you- and that is a pain that I will fight against with my very last breath. I don't ever want to feel that kind of agony ever again, but also... I don't want any of you to ever have to experience it either, because the pain of losing a brother is beyond debilitating." He finished in a soft wretched voice.

Leonardo felt his eyes widen in shock at his brother's words. Donatello tended to be abstracted and usually not very observant when it came to his brother's emotional needs, but his words were oddly intuitive.

He agreed with his brother -knowing that even though Leonardo believed himself to be less than useless if he lost his ability to fight- that emotionally his family would suffer grievously if he had died.

Donatello gave Leonardo's shoulder a comforting squeeze, as if he were at a loss of words and turned away.

He looked at his brother's carapace. He didn't like the idea of lying to Donatello's face and pretending as if he believed he was a different Donatello. But his brother's behaviour was slightly different than what he would expect of his genius brother.

He wondered then if it could be true, if this version of Donatello was somehow not his brother, but he couldn't understand how this could be possible.

He called out to his brother and asked him if he remembered the one other time Donatello had managed to save his life. It was Donatello's first surgery. Leonardo had been fighting and a street thug pulled a large knife. It had happened so fast; Leonardo had been distracted by a pained yelp from Michelangelo, causing the thug to be able to get past Leonardo's defences and nearly kill him.

Donatello turned and nodded remembering the incident, which only confirmed Leonardo's suspicions that Donatello was indeed his brother; just confused and very, very ill. Donatello had then frowned in confusion as he talked about it being Raphael who had been stabbed with the knife instead of Leonardo.

Blood suddenly trickled down from Donatello's nose, eyes and ears. His eyes rolled up in his head and slid shut as he fell forward, hitting the ground hard in a boneless heap, a sharp crack echoing through the lab as Donatello's head struck the floor. It all happened so fast that Leonardo wouldn't have even had time to react, even if he hadn't have been drugged, injured and lying down on his cot.

He struggled from his cot, trying to rush to Donatello's side. He landed hard on the floor; brutal, merciless pain tore through his already abused body as he fell into unconsciousness. Or at least he must have because the next instant he was confronted by the worried gaze of his father.

He was lying in his cot again, so he must have been unconscious for longer than he thought. Leonardo looked around frantically, searching for Donatello.

"Donatello is still unconscious, my Son," Master Splinter told him softly.

Leonardo felt white hot guilt and icy fear consume him. "It's my fault," he whispered miserably. "I was talking to him, but I started talking about when he saved my life; when I had been stabbed the first time, and he remembered it, Master Splinter. But then... he got this confused look on his face and said that it was Raph who had been stabbed instead, and then he just... collapsed."

Master Splinter frowned and nodded. "Calm yourself, Leonardo. It was not your fault."

"Yes it is," he shot back. "I knew that Raph said to pretend Donny was a different Donny, but I didn't listen because I believe he is our Donny, and that he is just sick. And because of my belief in this I disregarded your suggestions and purposefully made him remember a memory from the past and because of that..." he trailed off wretchedly.

"Fuck, Leo," Raphael growled furiously. Master Splinter's ears fell back against his head in irritation. "Sorry, Master," Raphael apologised quickly.

"I know this is hard for you to accept, Leonardo." Master Splinter began. "Deceit is not in your nature, and so do not think of it as a deceit, but more as deceitful protection. I know you would lie if it was to protect your brothers, and this family. So I ask you to do this, for now, for your brother, to protect him," Master Splinter said softly, gripping Leonardo's good shoulder and squeezing it gently.

Leonardo nodded miserably. "How long has he been unconscious?" he asked worriedly.

"Thirty six hours," Raphael gruffly answered.

Leonardo's eyes widened in shock. "Thirty six _hours?_" He repeated, incredulous.

"He's got a bad fever." Michelangelo put in as Leonardo struggled to sit up to see Donatello himself, but his father just gently pushed him down.

"We knew you needed your rest as well, Leonardo, so we have been administering the pain medication that Donatello left for you," Master Splinter informed him. "He will wake, Leonardo. All we can do is wait until he does." His father told him softly.

* * *

**Donatello** opened his eyes, expecting to wake in his computer room, head on the computer desk as he always did when he fell into unconsciousness; only this time he didn't. He awoke instead on a cold, damp, stone floor. He sat up and frowned in confusion. He took in his surroundings. He was lying on the living room floor of the lair.

He slowly stood and looked behind him. There was a thick metal door, which reminded him very much of the metal door in his mind that he had always been unable to open. The door now hung off its hinges as if it had been blasted inwards. Scraps of metal, stone and wood littered the floor, the remnants of some sort of barricade. He looked at the living room of the lair through the shattered remains of the door.

"I guess the door was there to keep me out," he said softly to himself as he turned, his trench coat flaring out slightly, the swords strapped to his back lending their weighted presence to his dark attire. He looked at the lair which was a carbon copy of the lair in his waking life. He briefly wondered where his darker self was and decided that he didn't want to know.

He strode towards his lab, a feeling of dread beginning to run along his skin. He opened the door to the lab easily and hesitantly walked inside.

His lab looked as it always did, except it was messier than he ever kept it. Spare parts and half-finished projects were strewn around the room. He walked slowly over to the computer desk. There was no table behind the chair, just like his lab in the waking world.

A feeling of trepidation flowed over him as he quickly turned, sensing movement from over in the corner.

Emaciated and curled into a tight ball on the floor, was himself. He stared at his other self in surprise. He slid closer wanting to see if this doppelganger of himself was even still alive.

His emaciated self twitched, weakly opening his eyes and glaring at him with unrivalled hatred. "Come to finally kill me?" He spat with loathing in a raspy voice.

Donatello looked at him with surprise, so shocked he wasn't able to even answer the question.

"You've stolen my body... my life... my family... and now you are slowly sucking my very soul dry." The other Donatello snarled with hatred.

"I…I…" Donatello stammered unable to understand what the other version of himself was accusing him of.

"You are a demon." His doppelganger ground out bitterly.

Donatello's lips pulled back revealing his sharp canines. He growled deep in his throat. "I have no idea what you are talking about," he snarled.

"Don't you?" His other self asked with angry accusation.

Donatello opened his mouth to reply, but instead he felt himself pulled back into the waking world. He groaned in pain. His head throbbed in blinding agony.

"Hey, Donny," Raphael's voice, oddly gentle soothed. "Welcome back, Brainiac. How ya feelin'?" he asked, worry and fear underlying the smile on his face.

"My head is killing me," he complained, clutching at his head as he slowly sat up.

"Whoa, Donny. Take it easy. You've been unconscious for a long time," Raphael cautioned pushing him back down.

"How long was I out?" Donatello asked, fighting against Raphael's restraining hand.

"Almost a week," Raphael answered softly.

Donatello frowned as he processed this and nodded.

Something important had happened when he was unconscious, and he knew he would remember in a few moments, but right now he felt too weak, and his head hurt too much to bother.

"How's Leo?" he asked, concerned how his 'brother' was doing.

"Feelin' guilty and miserable," Raphael replied truthfully. "But if you wanna talk with him, he's right here."

Raphael moved and Donatello looked over and saw that Leonardo was sitting in a chair by his bed.

"You're not supposed to be out of bed yet." Donatello tiredly warned Leonardo.

Leonardo gave a half smile that did not quite reach his eyes. "I know." He answered. "I'm sorry, Donny, I didn't mean..."

Donatello clutched at his head again as a sharp agony ripped through his head.

"Donny?" Raphael asked in concern.

Donatello breathed through the pain, and ignored the black spots that danced in front of his eyes.

"Here, Donny. You need to eat and drink something," Raphael told him gently, lifting a bottle of water to his parched lips.

He took a few shaky gulps of the cool liquid and had to force himself to swallow. He waved away the offer of some dry toast with butter. He couldn't bear the thought of actual food. The water however helped him, and he slowly got out of bed.

Raphael, and Leonardo protested, but he ignored them. He felt stiff and he wanted to get up and move, hopefully allowing him to remember what had happened to him while he was unconscious; because he knew it was important.

The pounding of his head began to lessen and he took a deep breath. He was able to walk without falling over, so that was a good sign.

The proximity alarms suddenly began blaring. Red lights began flashing as the loud wail of the siren hammered at his delicate eardrums.

Donatello quickly hurried to his computer, bringing up the live video feeds of his surveillance cameras surrounding their home.

"Donny, what's going on?" Raphael asked as Michelangelo burst into the infirmary, followed by Master Splinter. Leonardo had stood, but he was obviously still weak and unsteady on his feet.

"There is something coming towards the lair, and it's coming fast," Donatello informed them as his eyes sought to distinguish what was on the screen. It appeared to him as a black, fast moving blob; twisting and turning through the tunnels of the sewers on a direct course for the lair.

"Let's go, Donny, Mikey." Raphael ordered as Donatello straightened up, his arms reaching back to unsheathe the swords from his back. His fingers grasped at nothing but air as Donatello remembered that he did not wear swords. His head began to pound furiously and his mind skirted away from this line of thought.

Donatello looked around and found his bo propped up in the corner. He grabbed it on the way out, following Raphael from the room.

Leonardo slowly followed. "Leo..." Donatello began warningly.

"I am going to defend our home, Donny, even if I am not fit to fight. I will protect our family and home, " Leonardo growled. " Father, defend. our home, in case we fail." Leonardo whispered softly as Michelangelo shared a worried look with Donatello who only shrugged, knowing that he would not be able to stop Leonardo when he was determined to do something.

They made their way from the lair, intent on confronting whoever was speeding towards them, long before they ever reached the secret entrance.

Michelangelo lagged behind, helping Leonardo while Donatello and Raphael ran towards the intruder.

Donatello heard it then, a high pitched whine. He and Raphael rounded the corner, a speeding motorcycle heading straight towards them.

Raphael hunkered down, his body tense and focused, his sais ready to attack. Donatello tightly held his bo, his knuckles turning pale green as they faced the intruder who showed no signs of stopping.

Donatello felt Michelangelo and Leonardo finally catch up as the motorcyclist slammed on the brakes. The pungent smell of burning rubber assaulted Donatello's nostrils as the bike came screeching to a halt.

Smoke surrounded the motorcycle and rider, but the bike engine was cut. Donatello looked at the rider as the smoke cleared and he felt drawn to the rider.

"Whoever you are, you had better just turn around and go right back where you came from," Raphael growled threateningly, as he took a step towards the motorcyclist.

Donatello felt his heart constrict and his mind numb. He took several steps towards the motorcycle rider, heedless of the concerned, surprised calls of those at his back.

He stumbled forward as the motorcyclist reached up and grabbed hold of their helmet, pulling it from their head. Cascades of blonde, russet and copper curls tumbled from the confines of her helmet as her moss green eyes met his own, disbelieving ones.

"Hello, Donatello." Her silky soft voice was the voice he knew so well; the woman from his dreams. His lover, his soul mate, his..._Katherine._

He Knew her name, knew who she was. He fell to one knee, bowing his head in supplication. He was about to call out her name, _Katherine. _"Hello... Mistress," He said instead, the words slipping from between his lips, his voice filled with awe and reverence.

* * *

**Thoughts and opinions are always welcome:D **

**Confused yet? well, all things will be made clear...eventually;)**


	10. Chapter 10

**As always a huge thank you to my wonderful Beta Amonraphoenix, who was kind enough to beta this chapter even though she was so busy. Your hard work is greatly appreciated:) **

**Also a giant thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter!**

**Okay, this chapter is pretty long, and there is a lot going on, so please sit back and enjoy, things are about to get weird;)**

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**Chapter 10**

**Donatello** bowed his head in veneration. She had found him. Tears unwillingly sprang to his eyes at this. _She has not forsaken me_. He thought to himself with joy and relief. She was his world -worshipped her at her altar- and she had managed to find him. He hadn't even known he was lost, but now, now he was found, and her presence was glorious. She was like a cool, soothing balm to his burning, tortured soul.

"You came for me," he reverently whispered in a shaky breath. These words surprised him slightly because he had wished instead to say, '_You exist, I'm not insane! You are real, but...you…can't be…you should be dead_.'

Donatello dared not meet her eyes. He could not bear to see the disappointment or anger in those glorious green depths for ever doubting her and for not looking for her.

"I will always come for you, Donatello. No matter where you are, what world you exist upon or what form you inhabit…I will always find you. Even Death himself cannot part us, not really," was his Mistress' soft, gentle reply.

Donatello looked up at his Mistress in abject adoration as tears of sublime bliss streamed down his cold cheeks. She was smiling at him, her eyes sparkling with undying love and impish reproach. He felt his heart soar with the utter and complete love he felt for her.

* * *

**Raphael** watched as Donatello stumbled forward, despite Leonardo's worried shout for him to stop. The woman in front of them pulled off her helmet, wavy golden hair tumbling out and around her shoulders in a magnificent waterfall as she shook it out.

Raphael felt his mouth fall open in shock, as he realized that he recognized her. He had never seen her before in his life, but he knew she was the woman that Donatello had been dreaming about.

The woman of Donatello's actual dreams was standing before them, flesh and blood.

Raphael was stymied, his mind trying to come to grips with this when Donatello fell to his knees in front of her. At first Raphael had believed that it was due to shock that his brother had fallen to the ground, until Donatello had bowed his head and obediently said, "Hello...Mistress."

Raphael took a worried step forward, knowing that he had only heard that term issued from his brother's mouth when he was Dark Donatello.

Raphael swallowed down his horror, taking another worried step towards his kneeling brother, whose entire focus was upon the woman who stood in front of him.

Raphael looked back at her. She was beautiful, even he could admit that. Her eyes hadn't strayed to any of the rest of them, her focus solely upon the kneeling form of Donatello. Her green eyes shimmered slightly, a soft, gentle smile upon her face.

Donatello spoke again, head still bowed in respect and devotion.

"You came for me." Donatello's voice shook with wonder as he spoke.

The woman's smile widened at this. "I will always come for you, Donatello. No matter where you are, what world you exist upon, or what form you inhabit, I will always find you. Even Death himself cannot part us, not really."

Raphael felt his eye ridges raise in surprise at her words. But his eye ridges quickly slammed back down in anger. He didn't know what was going on, but he knew who did. He gripped his sais more tightly in his hands, moving forward threateningly.

"Alright, Lady, I don't know who the hell you are, but-" Raphael began, his words roughly cut off as Donatello moved. He didn't even see his brother coming; one moment Donatello was on his knees, and in the next, had moved so silently, so quickly, and with such skill and precision that Raphael didn't even have time to react before his own sai had been pulled from his hand and pushed against his throat. Hot blood trickled down his neck as the tip of his sai bit into hiss flesh.

Raphael blinked in shock, paralyzed as he looked into Dark Donatello's furious hazel eyes, which somehow contained a hint of red within their depths. Donatello was no longer in charge, Dark Donatello was, and Raphael had no doubt in his mind that Dark Donatello would kill him without a moment's hesitation.

"Don't you ever talk to her that way or threaten her again," Donatello growled his voice low and filled with deadly intent.

Raphael tried not to swallow as Donatello bared his teeth in a feral snarl, pressing the sai deeper into his flesh.

"Donatello!" The woman's words were sharp and reprimanding. "Take the sai away from Raphael's throat, now."

Donatello jerked the sai away from Raphael's throat as if his body obeyed the command before his mind was able to process the order.

"He threatened you." Donatello snarled, eyes narrowing dangerously, his pupils taking on a hint of red while the chocolate colour of his irises leached to crimson gold.

"It is what Raphael does best, Donatello. Raphael threatens, uses violence and lashes out when he is scared, confused, hurt, angry, upset... well, almost any emotion really." The woman said with a lopsided grin.

Shivers ran up Raphael's spine at the woman who not only knew his name, but who also seemed to know who he was and how he would react to any given situation.

Donatello growled low in his throat, and the growl more like an animal's than anything else.

"Donatello," the woman snapped. "Stop that right now and look at me."

Donatello whipped his head around, the growling ceasing as he looked at her.

"That is enough!" Leonardo's voice echoed through the tunnel.

"Leonardo, shush," the woman murmured absently as she studied Donatello with what appeared to be concern. "Donatello, don't you dare shift. If you do you will destroy what little remains of Donatello's soul. Now calm down and take a deep breath. I'm not hurt and no one is going to hurt me. Now back away from Raphael. Good."

Donatello looked back at Raphael, pulling the sai away from his throat and backing away. The red light in his brother's eyes dimmed before dying altogether; the golden crimson colour of his irises vanished, replaced by his usual chocolate brown tint. Donatello blinked and shook his head as if trying to clear it.

Dark Donatello seemingly vanished, to be replaced again by Donatello, who looked over his shoulder at the woman. "Katherine!" he exclaimed in surprise as he ran to her side, completely oblivious to the violence he had perpetrated only moments before. "You're alive," he whispered in awe. "But, it's impossible." He said in disbelief, reaching out and cupping her cheek, running his thumb across her satin skin.

Raphael didn't know why, but he almost expected the woman to flinch back from his brother's touch, but she didn't. Instead, she looked up at Donatello, her head tipping slightly to the side, almost as if she were thinking about something.

Raphael tried to understand how the woman of Donatello's dreams had suddenly appeared, and how it was even possible that she knew who Donatello was; seemed to know who himself and Leonardo were as well. This thought only served to make him even more frustrated, confused and angry.

"But you're dead." Donatello continued, his voice shaking. "I failed you. You were killed because I couldn't save you. But…where is the scar? Leo gave you a scar across your cheek, right here, but it… it isn't there." Donatello frowned, his brow wrinkling in confusion before clearing, eyes brightening with hope and joy. "It isn't too late!" Donatello grabbed a hold of the woman's shoulders in what had to be a punishing grip, indicated by her slight wince..

"Donatello-" The woman named Katherine began, but Donatello cut her off.

"It's not too late. I don't know how, but this time, I can save you. This time you don't have to die," Donatello told her desperately, bringing her in close and hugging her tightly against his trembling body.

Katherine pulled away slightly, a frown marring her face. "Donatello, kill Raphael." She suddenly ordered her voice calm and emotionless.

Raphael felt a chill run down his spine as Michelangelo gasped and Leonardo shouted, "No!"

Donatello turned quickly, Raphael's sai still clutched tightly in his hand, his brown eyes taking on a hint of reddish-gold; filling with murderous bloodlust.

"Yes, Mistress." Donatello smiled maliciously, advancing towards Raphael. "It would be my pleasure."

Raphael took a step back, his sai clenched in his hand, his empty hand balled into an angry fist. "Donny, don't make me hurt you," Raphael pleaded not daring to take his eyes from his suddenly homicidal younger brother.

"Donny! Stop!" Leonardo yelled, but his order fell upon deaf ears. "Mikey!" Leonardo shouted, obviously wanting Michelangelo to protect Raphael.

"Donatello, stop. Return to as you were." Katherine suddenly commanded. Donatello abruptly stopped moving. Raphael shot a quick glance towards Michelangelo who had moved a few steps closer to the woman. Leonardo was standing on his own, but looked unsteady.

Donatello blinked and turned back towards the woman. "What…?" Donatello questioned, a confused frown forming on his face.

"Donatello, how did we meet?" the woman asked suddenly.

Michelangelo inched closer, but the woman didn't seem to be paying attention to anyone but Donatello.

"Raph stabbed you." Donatello quickly answered. "You almost died; did die for a few moments. He lacerated your liver, your heart stopped beating as you went into shock."

Raphael felt his mouth fall open in shock, his brother's words sounding so sure and definite.

Katherine nodded in agreement. "And you were shot in the chest, nearly died a few months after we met."

Donatello nodded and Raphael felt goose bumps rise along his skin. He remembered Donatello telling them before that he had been shot, but there had been no bullet wound where he had claimed he had been shot. Raphael felt his eyes narrow in suspicion, an idea blooming in his mind.

This woman must have done something to his brother, placing thoughts and memories into his mind and making him believe he was another version of himself.

"Yes, I remember. You saved me," Donatello whispered closing the distance between them.

"Good," she said nodding. "And how did Katherine die?" she asked softly.

Donatello flinched and shifted his eyes away. "You…I…There was a bloody sheet covering your body, but I remember... There were chains, hanging from the ceiling, and y-you were being tortured by… Raph, Mikey, Leo…myself. We all…Raph struck the fatal blow," Donatello choked out, his head shaking from side to side as Raphael felt revulsion fill him at the scene his brother's words painted in his mind.

"But it wasn't us," Donatello quickly added. "Only… creatures who looked like us."

Katherine nodded. "And after that?" she prompted softly.

Donatello looked up at her then then turned his head away, eyes closing in pained remembrance. Finally he shook his head. "It's hurts to remember," He whispered miserably.

Sorrow filled the woman's eyes as she nodded in understanding. "Donatello, kneel before me," she ordered softly, her voice containing a hint of something that Raphael couldn't quite put his finger on.

That was when Raphael realized that there were different tones to her voice that seemed to trigger Donatello's shift from himself to Dark Donatello and back again. Raphael knew that if he could get her to stop talking, it would break Donatello out of the trance or spell, or whatever the hell it was that she was doing to him that let her control him.

Raphael clenched his sai more tightly in his hand and took a step towards the woman; Michelangelo continuing his own careful progress towards her.

Donatello knelt, head bowed towards the ground in obedient reverence.

"Donatello, who am I?" she questioned her voice sharp and insistent.

"My Mistress," Donatello said worshipfully.

"True, but what is my name?" she asked.

Donatello froze. "I would never dare speak it, it's too dangerous," Donatello stated.

She frowned, but nodded in understanding.

"Do you remember Darkness?" she asked and for some reason Raphael could hear the capital 'D' in the word Darkness.

Donatello frowned. "No."

"Donatello, stand, and back to as you were."

Donatello hastily stood. "I…"

"Who am I Donatello?" she asked again.

"Katherine," Donatello immediately answered. "But I don't understand how-"

"Do you remember Darkness?" she interrupted.

"Yes," he answered swiftly. "She-" he began but Katherine held up a hand and Donatello stopped talking.

Michelangelo had by this time almost made it to Katherine's side. Donatello noticed their baby brother's movement and began to growl warningly in his throat, his eyes shading towards crimson gold, lips pulled back from his teeth in a silent snarl. The woman suddenly let out a soft moan and fell towards the floor. Donatello turned quickly and managed to catch her before she hit the ground.

"Mistress! Are you…?" Donatello began in concern, lowering her so that she was sitting on the ground, her back leaning up against her bike.

"Donatello, you are a mess," she observed softly as Donatello knealt by her side. "Where did you get this scar?" she asked not answering his question.

Donatello looked down at his arm in confusion, a frown crossing his face. "I don't know, and I don't care," he snarled impatiently. "Where are you hurt?" he asked desperately.

Katherine waved away his concern. "I haven't eaten in a while, and I am slightly dehydrated as well. But no matter, tell me about your brothers," she said as Donatello looked over his shoulder towards them.

"What about them?" Donatello bit out. "They are apparently free to annoy me and take you from my side. Or at least, they will try." Donatello drew back his lips from his teeth in a threatening manner. "Maybe I should just kill them all now. That way you will be mine and only mine…forever."

Raphael glanced at Leonardo who was pale, shaking, and had a worried, horrified look on his face that was no doubt reflected on Raphael's own.

Raphael was trying to keep his breathing level as he edged closer to the woman and Donatello. If he got the woman away from Donatello, then his brother would be fine, and they would be able to find out what she had done to him. Luckily, he knew one way to get Donatello away from her side.

"Stop doing whatever the hell you're doing to him before I cut that pretty face of yours to ribbons!" Raphael snarled threateningly as Donatello's head whipped around in fury; his eyes changing to more crimson than gold, so much so that they were nearly glowing.

Raphael looked at Donatello in horror. Out of the corner of his eye he caught the look of utter and absolute terror on Michelangelo's face.

The woman put a restraining hand on Donatello's shoulder holding him in place as Donatello growled threateningly.

"I did not do this to him, Raphael. At least, not in the way you believe," she explained. "But he can't remain like this he is killing your brother." She spoke as if his genius brother were not kneeling right in front of her.

"Donatello," she began Donatello turning his attention back to the woman in front of him. Raphael could feel something moving along his skin, a prickling, heavy sort of sensation. Donatello stilled as if awaiting an order. "You need to fix your soul."

Donatello's crimson- gold eyes narrowed. "There is nothing wrong with my soul," he growled shifting so that he was kneeling right in front of her.

She glared at Donatello. "I have been watching you do your best impersonation of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde these past few moments and it is as disturbing as it is annoying," she snapped in irritation. "Now go and fix your soul, and that is an order!"

Raphael felt that prickling across his skin intensify uncomfortably. Donatello's eyes suddenly rolled up into his head and sliding closed as he slumped forward and onto the woman.

"Donny!" Raphael shouted in fear, running to his brother's side. He pulled Donatello off of the woman and rolled him over, checking for a pulse at his brother's throat. He found a steady beat beneath his fingers and let out a sigh of relief.

The woman blew out a breath, leaning her head back against the bike and wiping away the blood that trickled down from her nose with a black gloved finger.

Raphael looked over at the woman who was not looking at him; instead her eyes were partially closed. She gave a slight smirk. "This will no longer work on me. I know the truth, and the truth has set me free," she whispered, though Raphael had the distinct impression that she was not talking to any of them. She closed her eyes completely and slumped sideways, away from Donatello's unconscious form.

Raphael blinked in shock, his eyes flying to Leonardo for guidance. Raphael had no idea what had happened or what to do next.

"Mikey, grab the woman, Raph, grab Donny-" Leonardo began.

"It's okay, Leo, I got her. Mikey, just be careful with Donny." Michelangelo looked terrified of getting anywhere near Donatello or the woman. "Mikey, take Donny, I'll take the woman. She did something to Donny, and I ain't gonna let this chick hurt either you or anyone else, so that's why _I'm_ takin' her. But you gotta take Donny cause Leo's useless right now." Raphael explained patiently ignoring Leonardo's indignant 'Hey!' at his words.

Michelangelo finally nodded reluctantly in agreement.

Raphael stood and helped Michelangelo gently haul Donatello up and over his shoulder in a fireman's carry; while Leonardo slowly made his way back to the entrance of the lair, using the damp stone wall to support himself.

Raphael turned his attention back to the woman who was slumped over on the ground. He crouched down and studied her. She was wearing a one piece black leather motorcycle outfit. His eyes strayed to her face. She was perhaps too pale -her dark lashes standing out starkly against her alabaster cheeks- but this did not detract from her beauty in any way.

He carefully picked her up and was surprised at how light she was, and how it felt so right for her to be in his arms. He shook his head trying to dislodge the frightening thought. He stood and wondered what power this slight woman had over his brother and possibly even himself.

He looked at the light smudge of blood beneath her nose. The fact that her nose had also began to bleed while she was making Donatello 'remember' things bothered him.

She opened her eyes slightly and looked at him, though her gaze didn't quite meet his own eyes.

"It feels nice to be in your arms again, Raphael." She whispered softly as her eyes slid closed again, snuggling deeper into his embrace.

Raphael's arms held her more tightly against his chest as a surge of protective possessiveness filled him. He slowly walked with her back to the lair, his mind in turmoil.

* * *

**Donatello** opened his eyes and pulled his head up from the keyboard. He slid his chair back, striking the table behind him.

He frowned in confusion as he tried to remember what had happened. He rubbed tired fingers over his eyes and slowly stood, stretching out his cramped muscles. He turned and almost walked right into his darker self, whose golden-red eyes were nearly blood red with furious rage.

Dark Donatello pulled his lips back from his teeth exposing his sharp canines in a feral snarl.

"My Mistress ordered me here!" Dark Donatello growled.

Donatello rubbed his head."What happened?" he murmured more to himself than to his darker self. "Wait!" he said as his memory flooded back to him. "She exists," he said reaching out and clutching at his dark self's shoulders.

His hands however did not grab a solid form and instead slid straight through. Donatello stared at his hands in horror as his eyes sought out his darker self's in confusion.

"My Mistress has ordered us to fix our soul." Dark Donatello growled. "My memory is still hazy, some things do not make sense to me, but I do remember one thing," he said as he stepped close, Donatello's hands sliding straight through his darker self's body. "There is a reason we cannot be separated from one another, and that is because we _are _one. I am you, and you are me. It was not always so, we were at one time separate beings, each with their own wants and desires, but now, we cannot ever be sundered. Someone had attempted it, but it could not be done."

Donatello felt his eyes widen in surprise as Dark Donatello stepped through him; though perhaps a better word would be, _into_ him.

Donatello felt his world go dark and a chill ran through his body followed by intense heat. He screamed in agonizing pain. It felt as if his skin was burning and his organs were shredded and torn viciously from his brutally abused and convulsing body.

The finally opened his eyes after what felt like an eternity of never ending pain. His chest was heaving with frantic, almost wheezing gasps as he struggled for air. He looked down at his hands, which were shaking slightly in disbelief and fear. He balled his scarred hands into fists and stood, having unknowingly fallen to his knees during the excruciating merger of their two souls.

His mind was in turmoil. All of his memories hazy, indistinct, and badly fractured, but at least he could remember _something_.

He quickly turned, his dark trench coat billowing out behind him as he strode towards the living room, passing the couch where he had always lounged, and to the door that he had finally managed to blow open.

He stepped through what remained of the doorway in his mind that had been blocked and reinforced to keep him out, and strode purposefully towards where he knew the lab to be.

The frail, broken form of the other Donatello sat slouched against the wall, just inside his lab. If the other Donatello noticed his abrupt entrance he did not show it. His form was oddly translucent; all of the colours that had once made up the substance of his form were leaching out of him.

Donatello crouched down in front of his other, fading self, and contemplated him for a moment before standing up and forcing himself to wake up.

* * *

**Donatello's** eyes snapped open. He let out a groan as he slowly sat up. He was in the lab. He looked around, the smell of healing herbs, sage and incense was thick in the air. He wrinkled his nose in disgust at the smell, wiping the oil from his forehead in irritation.

Donatello's eyes searched the lab. Michelangelo and Master Splinter were absent, while Leonardo sat across the room close to the cot that had been outfitted with the restraints that Donatello believed would have to be used on himself. Raphael stood in front of the cot, arms crossed over his chest as he studied the woman who lay on motionless before him, apparently unconscious and restrained by the heavy leather bands.

_Katherine._

Her name was like the soft ringing of a bell within him, striking that exact cord that drew him from his bed and towards her.

Leonardo moved slightly, alerting Raphael who turned towards him. Raphael tensed his hands moving to the twin sais slung through his belt.

Donatello pulled his lips back from his teeth in irritation. "You had better move, Raphael. And untie her," he said dangerously, advancing towards the two turtles.

"Donny, I don't know what the hell this chick did to you but we are-" Raphael never got the chance to finish what he had been about to say.

Donatello charged Raphael grabbing him by the throat and slamming him down hard to the ground. Raphael hadn't even had the chance to draw his sais.

"Don't threaten me, or her, Raphael," Donatello snarled, tightening his grip upon Raphael's throat. Raphael began to struggle desperately clawing at his fingers. "I am not in the mood." Donatello punctuated his words by slamming Raphael's head onto the floor.

Donatello heard muffled mumbling. He looked towards the cot and realized that Katherine was awake and that her mouth had been duct taped closed. "Duct taping her mouth shut was a mistake." Donatello snarled including Leonardo in his warming to Raphael. "Because now she can't order me to not kill you, and, Raphael, I so very much _want_ to kill you," his voice was silky smooth and deadly.

Leonardo stood upon shaky legs and shouted at him, warning him to let Raphael go. Donatello had to restrain a malicious chuckle at the attempt to intimidate him.

"You had better sit down, Leonardo. You are less than useless right now," he squeezed Raphael's throat tightly, his body thrashing in distress as the his body screamed for oxygen. The distressed sound of Katherine struggling against her bonds forced him to look back at her. She was furious, her eyes filled with angry tears.

Donatello let Raphael go and stood. Raphael gasped in a much needed breath of air and rolled onto his side, coughing and waving away Leonardo's assistance as he struggled to his feet.

Donatello ignored them both. Realizing that he had angered his Mistress and needing to rectify his transgression, he pried the duct tape from her mouth and unbound her wrists, checking her over for any injuries. A low growl vibrated from deep within his chest. It took all of his willpower not to lash out at the ones who had bound his lover to the cot.

Katherine sat up and slid from the cot.

"What in the seven hells do you think you are doing?" she hissed angrily. Donatello flinched back as if he had been struck. "You need to calm down and take a deep breath. You are being ridden and although I expect that it is only natural after having been separated for so long, you need to get a hold of yourself before you do something you will regret." Her voice lost some of its anger and gentled.

Donatello nodded, closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Although her words were not an order he knew the wisdom of following her advice. He opened his eyes, but caught Leonardo out of the corner of his eye. His eyes narrowed as he quickly turned stalking towards him.

Michelangelo sauntered into the lab and froze, his eyes wide with fear and shock. Michelangelo sidled up close to Leonardo who had slowly pulled his katana blade from his back.

Donatello stopped, the growl in his chest deepened as a flash of memory came to his mind of Leonardo attacking Katherine and giving her the scar across her cheek.

"Donatello, please. You don't really want to hurt Leonardo," she pleaded softly.

Unfortunately he did. He wanted to hurt Leonardo right now -more than hurt him in fact. Donatello knew the thought was wrong, but the urge was overpowering, because Leonardo had done so much more than just spill her precious blood.

He clenched his teeth together as he tried to make sense of his broken thoughts and memories. He felt conflicted and confused, but knew that there was something else wrong with him. "I don't understand what's going on," Donatello told her softly, studying Leonardo, Raphael and Michelangelo intently. "I can't remember…but I do. Everything is so jumbled...my thoughts, my feelings...nothing is right. I feel like I am suffocating; like I'm trapped in darkness and every sense is muffled and dulled."

"I know." She agreed softly from behind him. He clenched his fists together. His mind tumbled as he tried to remember, tried to make sense of everything.

The growl in his chest rose again as he looked over his shoulder at his mate. His eyes narrowed and changed; seeing how he knew he should be able to see, his vision sharpening, the smells around him becoming stronger, more clear.

"That's it, Donny" Raphael spoke up. "Can't you see that she did something to you?" Raphael coaxed in a hoarse voice, but Raphael sounded so far away. His mind was remembering the Beast; the creature with fangs and claws and a thirst for blood.

His mate took a step back hand raised slightly as if to ward him off.

"Donatello," she began taking another step back.

"Uh, Leo," Michelangelo asked softly. "Do...do we protect Donny from her or her from Donny?" he asked in a frightened voice as Donatello slowly stalked his prey.

"Don't shift, Donatello," his mate warned, still backing away from him. He didn't pursue her, but waited. He was waiting for her to take flight so that he could chase her and claim her as his own.

"Hey, I figure she's gonna get whatever she deserves," Raphael grumbled as he rubbed his throat before crossing his arms over his chest.

Donatello's mate turned and ran. He darted after her slamming her into the wall, dragging her arms above her head in a brutal hold that pinned her to the cold rough stone.

She turned her head away exposing her throat in a sign of surrender and submissiveness.

Donatello growled low in his throat as his teeth grazed the milky white surface.

"Okay, Donny, I think you've made your point." Leonardo stated from somewhere over his shoulder. "Let her go before you hurt her."

Donatello ignored his brother, Leonardo could wait his turn.

"Leo," Michelangelo pleaded fear filling his voice.

"Just leave him, Mikey," Raphael stated. "Let him threaten and scare her a little bit. She deserves a little payback for whatever the hell she did to him."

Donatello licked his tongue up the salty surface of the delicate skin of her neck. Her pulse beat steadily beneath her pale, warm skin.

"Donatello, stop," she whispered, though there was no order running beneath her words. He made his way back up to her face, leaning forward and claiming her parted lips in a passionate kiss. He crushed her between his plastron and the wall, lifting her up, her legs going around his hips for support. She made a slight moan of need mixed with desire that only inflamed him more.

* * *

**Raphael** watched Donatello turn and slowly stalk the woman with his eyes. Raphael didn't think that Donatello would hurt her; perhaps just scare her a little before letting her go. She darted away and Donatello moved, slamming her into the brick wall.

Raphael winced slightly as Donatello did this, but was glad that his brother's anger was at least aimed in the right direction.

His brother's beak brushed over her exposed throat. She moved her head away slightly and closed her eyes tightly. Raphael smiled as he watched her flinch in fear. He roughly shoved down the need to rush to her aid, Donatello wouldn't hurt her. At least... the Donatello he used to know wouldn't…

"Okay, Donny, I think you've made your point." Leonardo said soothingly as he moved closer to Donatello, his katana still held in his shaking hand. "Let her go before you hurt her."

"Leo," Michalngelo pleaded, fear filling his voice as Donatello continued to growl.

"Just leave him, Mikey." Raphael stated calmly. "Let him threaten and scare her a bit. She deserves it for whatever she did to him."

His genius brother suddenly licked up the side of her neck, tasting her, his growl deepening into a lustful rumble. Raphael's eye ridges rose in shock as he uncrossed his arms.

"Donatello, stop," she whimpered, her voice shaking slightly.

Donatello pulled away, moving forward again and kissing her roughly. He yanked her up higher her legs going around Donatello's hips in an effort to push his brother away.

"Donny, what the hell are you doin'?!" Raphael yelled in shock as the woman let out a muffled shout.

Donatello pulled away slightly, his fingers moving to the zipper of her leather outfit. He grasped the zipper and began sliding it down revealing a creamy expanse of cleavage that Raphael stared at in wonder for a moment before shaking his head slightly.

"D-Donatello," she protested, struggling weakly against Donatello's restraining grip.

Donatello growled low in his throat. He brushed her cheek with his own. "Don't fight me," he growled. "Please." His fingers slid the zipper down even further until it hit her navel. Under the leather suit she was naked.

"Donatello, stop," she pleaded.

"She said stop!" Raphael snarled advancing towards his brother who was now forcing his attentions onto the woman. He knew she deserved to be punished for whatever she had done to Donatello, but not like this. "What the hell is wrong with you, Donny!"

Donatello suddenly straightened as if finally hearing Raphael's shouted words.

"Get away from her!" Raphael snarled, fear and horror at the thought of what his brother was about to do running through his head.

Donatello pulled away, letting her legs slip from his hips to the floor.

"I forgot. I'm sorry," Donatello said softly pulling back and stepping away. The woman tried to pull her clothing back together, some of the leather having slipped exposing an alabaster shoulder. She crossed her arms in front of her, hugging herself, which only revealed the top of her breasts even more. The zipper had slid down past her navel stopping just above her hair line.

Raphael swallowed down his own lust, trying to pull his eyes away and focus instead on his insane brother. He had been so sure this woman had been behind his brother's 'illness', but now he wasn't so sure. That she knew something was obvious, but what and how much he couldn't even guess.

"I forgot that Raphael is here. It has been so long since you two were together." Donatello gently stoked her cheek with his thumb. "I'm sorry. I…You want to be with Raphael. You probably _need_ to be with him"

Raphael blinked in shock. "Huh?" he asked stupidly.

"Donatello..." she began but Donatello shook his head, silencing her protest.

"I understand," Donatello said looking over his shoulder at Raphael who was looking back at him in confusion.

Raphael clenched his sais more tightly in his hands wondering what was going on, and if he was going to have to fight his brother.

"You don't have to fight me for her, Raphael. I can't ever be for her what you are, but that doesn't mean I'm not going to have my fill of her later," Donatello growled huskily, his voice possessive and dangerous.

"W-what?!" Raphael stammered in confusion at what his brother was hinting at.

"You're her lover, I'm not surprised you're jealous, it's understandable. You were gone for a very long time, and during that time we have kept her bed warm in your absence."

"I'm her what?! What bed? We? We who? What are you talking about!?" Raphael asked in rush of words, complete and utter shock filling him as a blush rose to stain his cheeks dark at the images the flooded his mind.

Donatello rolled his eyes at him. "Take her, Raphael. You'd better hurry; I'm not feeling in a particularly patient mood."

Donatello scooped the woman up into his arms and tossed her at Raphael. She let out a small squeal of shock. Raphael's eyes widened in surprise as he dropped his sais so that he could safely catch her.

Donatello crossed his arms over his chest as Raphael stumbled back a few steps under her unexpected weight.

"I am not a sack of potatoes, Donatello!" she huffed in irritation.

Donatello snorted. "Tell me it doesn't feel good being back in Raphael's arms again."

The woman didn't answer and Raphael stared into the moss green eyes that held his own amber ones.

He was caught.

He wasn't sure if this is how Donatello had fallen under whatever spell she had cast upon him, but Raphael no longer seemed to care. All that mattered was that this soft, warm, beautiful woman was clasped up against his plastron, her arms around his neck as she gazed at him with love, desire and a sadness that he wanted to make disappear, no matter the cost. He slowly lowered her feet to the ground -ever so carefully- as if she were made of the most precious and delicate porcelain. Raphael didn't break eye contact with her. He studied her and he realized that she hadn't been frightened of Donatello, quite the opposite in fact.

Raphael brushed her cheek gently with his thumb as Donatello had done only moments earlier.

Raphael hadn't realized that he had been looking for her. All of his life he had felt as if something had been missing; and now the missing piece of his soul was standing right in front of him. She was his world; his universe.

Part of him wanted to kneel before her, worship her, serve her, follow any command she wished to give him, and protect her with his very life. He wanted to bask in her presence and hope that he was fortunate enough for her to bestow her favour upon him.

The other part of him wanted to ravish her where they stood. He wanted to remove any and all clothing that separated their flesh. He wanted to feel her, breathe her in, taste her, plunge himself within her warm depths and never let her go.

His world narrowed into the pinpoint awareness and understanding that she was his, and he was hers.

Raphael leaned down and claimed her lips, crushing her against his plastron. He buried his hands in her glorious hair and devoured her in a kiss that shattered every wall he had ever erected and wrapped his soul in her gentle embrace.

* * *

**Donatello** watched as Raphael leaned down and claimed Katherine's lips with his own.

Michelangelo gasped in shock his mouth falling open, while Leonardo shouted a warning. His sword was drawn and poised to attack, even though Leonardo looked as if he was wasn't sure what to do -and even if he did- wouldn't manage two steps without collapsing to the floor.

"Donatello," Katherine said quietly, pulling away from Raphael's lips. "He...he's not _my_ Raphael," she whispered miserably, turning as much as she could in Raphael's grasp. Unshed tears shimmered in her eyes as she tried to blink them back.

Donatello frowned in confusion as he shook his head, trying to clear his hazy memories. Many still remained oddly shrouded and indistinct, but he did remember what had happened to his Raphael. He closed his eyes in sorrow and nodded. "I forgot," he told her softly as a few more pieces of his memory clicked into place. "You're right, they aren't _my_ brothers. My brothers are still trapped within that giant crystal; captured and frozen in time by the white-haired demon and guarded by...by a demonic dragon."

"White-haired demon, demonic dragon?" Katherine questioned with a frown, her head tipping to the side in question.

The gesture was so indicative of the way that Katherine had acted, her form so heartbreakingly familiar, that he had forgotten...

"You aren't Katherine," he whispered wretchedly. "Katherine's dead, because I couldn't protect her; couldn't save her," he choked out as all of his memories suddenly burned, ripped and tore through his mind. It was as if he was experiencing every single painful, horrific, brutal event all over again, and it brought him to his knees with grief.

He bowed his head before throwing it back and letting out a keening wail of anguish that echoed out from his very soul.

"I'm sorry, Donatello," she whispered, her own voice laced with sorrow.

Donatello shook his head back and forth as more pieces of his memory fell into place. She should not be apologizing to him, she had nothing to apologize for. She had done all that she could; did more than any could ever have asked of her.

"I'm sorry too…Nightmare," he whispered his Mistress' name, bowing his head in veneration.

* * *

**Phew that was a ride. hope everyone enjoyed. Still confused? That's okay, all will be made clear soon:)**


	11. Chapter 11

**A giant thank you as always to my lovely beta Amonraphoenix for betaing this chapter, she is the ultimate master!**

**Also a big thank you to mu reviewers Mela989898, Sleepingseeker, melovebutch and I love kittens too. The encouragement is greatly appreciated!**

**And now on with the show...**

* * *

Chapter 11

**Donatello** continued to bow his head towards the ground, because his Mistress had not commanded him to move. He knew that he could move if he wanted to; that his Mistress would not fault him for moving and that she would probably prefer it if he stood. But he could no longer override the part of his personality that worshipped, and adored her. Now that he remembered, he knew that he was not worthy of the creature in front of him, but wanted nothing more than to bask in her presence. And at the moment, he was going to have a hard time not curling around her feet like a contented cat, laying his head upon her thigh, and hoping that his Mistress would be content and pleased enough with him to actually show him some small bit of affection.

He tried to shake these thoughts from his head, but was unable to. The image he had conjured up was too strong, and the need for approval too overwhelming.

"Well at least you finally seem to know who I am, Donatello," his Mistress said to him. Her voice did not contain any hint of a smile, nor did it contain a hint of disapproval either. Her words were merely a statement of fact.

He allowed himself to raise his eyes and study her, still clutched within Raphael's arms. Of course that version of Raphael was not his brother, and sudden possessiveness filled him at this version of Raphael touching his Mate. A low growl began issuing from his lips.

Raphael pulled her more closely against his body, giving Donatello a challenging glare in return.

"Is he supposed to be acting like that?" Donatello growled at his Mistress as he slowly stood.

His Mistress looked over her shoulder at Raphael, a frown forming on her face. "I don't know," she answered truthfully, voice thoughtful.

A katana blade suddenly slid in front of his Mistress' neck, the cool steel denting the delicate flesh of her throat as she flinched slightly, a thin line of blood seeping up to the surface.

Donatello saw nothing but red as Leonardo -standing behind Raphael- began to speak; his voice low and deadly. "Let my brothers go before I kill you."

"Donatello, STOP!" she shouted at him as he was about the launch himself at the creature who was threatening his Mistress.

Donatello froze having no choice but to obey his Mistress' order.

His Mistress moved forward, ignoring Leonardo's razor sharp blade. This caused Leonardo to adjust his grip, apparently not wanting to kill her right there and then. This movement forced his blade up, cutting her across her cheek instead.

"Leonardo, unless you want Donatello to die, I suggest you stop threatening me," his Mistress' voice was harsh, and contained an edge of irritation.

Raphael moved then pushing Leonardo back, unbalancing him and causing him to stumble back. This would not have normally worked, but in Leonardo's weakened state, it did.

"What the hell, Leo?!" Raphael snarled angrily, eyes flashing dangerously.

Leonardo steadied himself, his sword glinting with the faint smear of blood. He slid into a defensive position, eyes shifting over the near frozen tableau that was arranged before him.

"Raph, please, snap out of it." Michelangelo pleaded his eyes filled with tears and apprehension.

"Mikey, you don't understand." Raphael said, shifting his gaze from Leonardo and pulling Donatello's Mistress around so that she was again looking into Raphael's eyes. Raphael brushed his thumb across her bleeding cheek, wiping away the blood from the shallow cut.

Donatello felt blinding rage fill him, but indecision rode over him. Leonardo had dared to draw his Mistress' blood, but Raphael dared to clutch his Mate to his chest, and Donatello was unsure which of the two brothers deserved his fury more.

Making a decision he launched himself at Raphael, who twisted, shielding Donatello's Mistress with his body. Donatello slid to the slide, his growl of frustration and anger rumbling deep in his chest.

"What is going on in here?" a deep, steady voice asked in irritation.

Donatello ignored the voice, intent on getting his Mate out of the arms of the other Raphael.

"Master Splinter!" Michelangelo wailed. "Donny and Raph have both gone crazy! She... she did something to both of them, and... and..." Michelangelo's panicked voice trailed off, apparently at a loss for words to explain what was going on.

Donatello slowly circled Raphael like a predator stalking his prey; the low rumble of his growl issuing from between his lips.

"Donatello, that is enough!" Master Splinter's voice barked sternly.

Donatello ignored Master Splinter's voice. His Mistress ducked out from Raphael's surprised grip and stumbled into Michelangelo. Donatello straightened, his blinding rage vanishing. He knew Michelangelo would not harm her, nor was he a rival for his Mate's affections.

Michelangelo looked at her in shock and then paled. "I looked at her! No! _Nononononono_! I looked at her. I'm going to become one of her slaves! I can already feel my mind slowly being taken over!" He cried out as he dropped his nunchucks to the floor and clutched at his head.

Donatello's Mistress looked at Michelangelo in surprise and then burst out laughing. The soft joyful sound that issued from her lips was one that made Donatello's heart swell with happiness. She doubled over in whoops of laughter seemingly unable to catch her breath between bouts.

"You...you should see your f-faces right now," she managed to say between gasps of air. "Oh, Michelangelo, I've missed you." She said wiping a tear from her eyes before becoming somber, as if she had forgotten for a moment that this version of Michelangelo was not hers.

Her face turned serious, her attention moving to Master Splinter. "I have heard about you, I even have...memories -if you can even call them that- of you...but I have never _met_ you. It is nice to finally do so, Master Splinter," she said softly, turning and bowing to the old rat.

Master Splinter's face betrayed no emotion, just a kind of wary interest.

"I don't mean to alarm you, but if we do not act quickly, I fear that your Donatello will come to great harm, if such hasn't already befallen him." Her words were soft and pleading.

Master Splinter's ears flicked and he scented the air, as if trying to determine the truth of her words.

"Don't trust her, Master," Leonardo began. "She's already done something to both Raph and Donny!" Leonardo warned.

Master Splinter studied Donatello's Mistress before turning his attention to both Raphael and himself.

Raphael looked irritated, having crossed his arms over his chest. "She hasn't done anything to me, Leo," Raphael growled. "But," Raphael looked back at Donatello's Mistress. "I know her. I-I can't explain it, but...I feel like I've known her forever. It's like...she...she's my soul mate." Raphael's words were a mere whisper, a blush rising up in his cheeks turning them dark.

Donatello blinked in shock, his eyes widening before narrowing again in irritation. She was not Raphael's soul mate; she was _his_, soul mate. Donatello clenched his fists tightly in fury.

"Nightmare." Donatello snarled, waiting for his lover to deny the other Raphael's words. However, his Mistress remained disturbingly silent.

"He is not my soul mate." She admitted, tilting her head to the side in thought as she studied Raphael. "But there is something...something I can't determine at the moment because of my present circumstances."

Donatello frowned but gave a slight nod of understanding his mind processing her words. A thought stuck him then as he studied his Mistress. "Why do you inhabit Katherine's body, Nightmare?" he asked her quietly.

"I would imagine that I inhabit her body for the same reason that you inhabit that one, Donatello. After all, that is not your body, is it?" she asked him gently as she tipped her head to the side.

Donatello blinked and looked down at his hands; hands that were so familiar, and yet at the same time, so wholly different from the ones he was used to.

"Perhaps it would be best if we moved to the living room. I feel as though a nice cup of tea is in order," Master Splinter offered gently.

"But, Master!" Leonardo protested.

"I said for us go into the living room, Leonardo." Master Splinter insisted firmly as he turned. "Michelangelo, perhaps you could make us some tea. Raphael, help Leonardo to the living room please and settle him down on the couch before he falls down. Donatello, please make our new guest comfortable."

Donatello looked to his Mistress for her orders. She shrugged, indicating that she had no problem with going to the living room.

Donatello nodded and offered her his arm in a courtly manner. She walked up to him and placed her arm gently on his forearm as he led her into the living room.

Leonardo gave them distrustful glances and Raphael glared at Donatello as they passed, but Raphael helped Leonardo follow them into the living room

Donatello led his Mistress to a chair which she sat down in, looking around her with obvious interest. He sat on the floor by her feet, curling himself around her legs and resting his head on her thigh.

Her hand stroked down his head, across his cheek and down the ties of his mask. He sighed in contentment and closed his eyes.

"Donny, get away from her," Raphael snarled in anger. "And what the hell is your problem anyway?"

"Raphael," Master Splinter chastised sharply.

Donatello remained as he was, not even Raphael's enraged voice had the ability to disturb his contentment.

There was the slight rattling of china cups. "Jeez, Mikey, watch what you're doing!" Raphael snarled.

There was more rattling and the sound of a laden tea tray being placed on the coffee table in front of him.

"I can't help it, Raph, Donny's purring! As in like a cat!" Michelangelo's panicked voice exclaimed. "I mean, how is he even making that noise?!"

Donatello stopped purring when he realized he was doing it. He opened an eye and observed Master Splinter staring at him. Leonardo was sitting on the couch opposite to them, every line of his body held in tense rigidity, fear and horror carved into his face.

Michelangelo tried to pour the tea, but his hands shook too much. Raphael glared at Michelangelo as he did this. Raphael had perched himself on the arm of the chair his Mistress was occupying.

Donatello shifted slightly so that he could look at Raphael better. He was leaning back, arm slung across the back of the chair, body as close to Donatello's Mistress as he could get. Donatello shifted back and let out a huff of irritation. If his Mistress was not complaining he couldn't. Besides, the feel of her warm touch on his face was too good to be worth moving from his current position.

"What did you do to them?" Leonardo snarled angrily.

"Leonardo," Master Splinter soothed patiently.

"Master Splinter, she is petting Donny and he is curled up around her like a...a pet dog! Leonardo leapt to his feet in incredulous anger before wavering slightly and falling back onto the couch.

His Mistress moved then; standing and taking an advancing step towards Leonardo. Donatello narrowed his eyes and let out a growl of annoyance at being displaced from his coveted position at her feet.

"What happened, Leonardo?" she asked gently as Leonardo flinched back in horror, closing his eyes tightly so he would not have to look at her.

Instead of being upset she merely smiled, placed a gentle finger under Leonardo's chin and tilted his head up. Leonardo screwed his eyes closed even more tightly, refusing to look at her in the eyes.

"Leonardo, my Love, you -out of all of your brothers- are the most difficult, and although I understand your concern, your anger and your belligerent behaviour is not helpful." She caressed his cheek as she straightened, stepping back and resuming her seat in the chair.

Donatello curled back around her legs again and he glared at Leonardo who had opened his eyes, still avoiding Nightmare's gaze as a dark blush stained his cheeks.

"Who are you?" Michelangelo's voice shook in fear.

Donatello's Mistress turned her attention to Michelangelo who yelped in alarm, diving behind the couch before popping his head back up and slowly standing.

"That is a complicated question, Michelangelo," she answered cryptically.

"She is my Mistress," Donatello answered, "and so much more."

"I am," she said with an affirmative nod.

Raphael reached out with his hand and tipped her face up. "And what about me?" he asked huskily his lips nearly touching hers.

She frowned as if trying to find an answer. "You are...something..." her voice trailed off, leaning in as if she too was transfixed, pulled towards Raphael. She briefly brushed her lips across his before reluctantly pulling away. Donatello felt his lips pull back from his teeth in a feral snarl of jealousy. She brushed her had across Raphael's cheek and held it there, before turning her attention back to Michelangelo, and giving Donatello a comforting caress of his cheek, settling him down.

"I hold many names and many titles," she began softly. "But perhaps it would be best to just call me Katherine, since it is her body I inhabit at the present."

"Nightmare…" Donatello warned, worry running hot across his skin, but she waved away his concern.

"It is her name, Donatello. Calling me Nightmare shall only draw the attention of Things and Powers that we do not want to tangle with right now; especially in the bodies we inhabit."

Donatello let out a growl but did not offer up anymore protests. His Mistress was far older and wiser than he was; he would always defer to her in such matters.

"What did you do to my brothers?" Leonardo growled, seemingly having gotten himself under control enough to speak.

Nightmare tipped her head to the side as she thought over the question. "I do not believe I have done anything to your brothers."

Leonardo flew to his feet. "You lie!" he shouted in accusation. "You've done something to Donny and Raph! Why else would they be acting this way?!"

"I do not lie." Nightmare stated emphatically.

"Donny is…is treating you like you are his...his Mistress. He even calls you that, and it's like every order you give must be obeyed. And Raph...Raph's talking about soul mates, taking your side instead of ours-"

"She meant that she actually _can't_ lie," Donatello interrupted Leonardo's heated tirade. "So if she says she didn't do anything, she didn't. And she _is_ my Mistress, her word is law to me. I have no will but her will; no desires but her desires. I obey, care for, and only serve her; live and die only for her."

Leonardo paled further, blinking at Donatello as if his mind was having a hard time processing everything he had just said.

Nightmare nodded in agreement. "I cannot lie and I did not do anything to your brothers. Donatello here is not your brother, and as I am not the cause of your brother's current state, I did nothing to him. As for Raphael, I do not honestly know why he is acting the way he is. If it is somehow my fault, it was not intentional, and Donatello is my-."

"Bullshit!" Leonardo snarled as he advanced towards her.

Donatello pulled his lips back in a feral growl, while Raphael leaned forward threateningly.

"Leonardo!" Master Splinter snapped. "Sit down!"

Leonardo stopped and breathed in and out a few times, trying to calm himself down, but did not sit.

Donatello stopped growling and spoke. "Ni-" He stopped and swallowed, "Katherine." He managed to say Katherine's name as he was momentarily flooded with grief and regret. "Repeat after me; The sky is blue."

"The sky isn't actually." She replied with a frown. "It only appears to be blue."

Donatello gave a small smile.

"That doesn't prove anything." Leonardo bit out, as he finally sat back down.

"Ask her anything." Donatello challenged.

"What happened to my brothers?" Leonardo asked angrily.

"Which one?" Nightmare countered.

Donatello mouth twitched at Leonardo's furious gaze. He knew what dealing with Nightmare was like, she was very precise and direct and the combination at times could be irritating.

"Donatello," he ground out through a clenched jaw, pointing in Donatello's direction.

"Your brother's soul has been …subverted, and is most likely being consumed by my Donatello's soul as we speak."

"Consumed as in…eaten?" Michelangelo gasped out in horror, shaking so badly that he used the back of the couch to support himself.

"Something akin to that, yes." Nightmare nodded. "We aren't from your world. We come from a different Earth, a parallel one, and we are not supposed to be here. I accidentally shifted us into this world, which though annoying, should not have been a problem for us. I would have shifted us back home with no one the wiser of our accidental journey. However, some_one_, or some_thing_ powerful took offense to our presence and ripped our souls from our bodies. My Donatello was thrown into your Donatello's body, while I was thrown into this body, our memories altered and erased. I don't know why they would do such a thing, but it is obvious that we were never supposed to remember who we really were," Nightmare explained. She ran a hand through her hair, a gesture reminiscent of one that Katherine had often done, but one Nightmare never did.

His heart twisted as he looked down at his hands, hands that were not his own, but his counterpart's; his double. The version of himself that walked around in this world, a world so much simpler than his own.

Nightmare continued. "Because both souls are just different versions of Donatello, it is like mixing two like colours of paint together. Whoever did this expected their two souls to blend seamlessly together, neither the wiser for the merging. However, this was not the case as my Donatello's soul is..._more_, and as such, my Donatello became the dominant soul; which is not good for your Donatello. If we do not get my Donatello's soul out of your Donatello's body, your Donatello will cease to exist."

Donatello's dream with the butterfly suddenly made sense. His soul –the black butterfly- had crawled into Donatello's body and was harming his counterpart, devouring him.

Stunned silence filled the room as Leonardo's eyes flew to Donatello before they sought the advice of his father.

Master Splinter spoke, his ears still flattened tightly against his head. "My son's body is currently housing two souls?" he asked his voice laced with horror.

"Yes," Nightmare affirmed grimly.

Leonardo and Michelangelo both looked at Donatello with horror.

Donatello looked at Nightmare. "Where are our bodies?" he asked, his voice containing a hint of panic.

"That is a very good question," Nightmare mused seriously as she leaned back into Raphael's arm, which was still slung along the back of the chair. Raphael suddenly shifted, lifting Nightmare up and dislodging Donatello in the process. He growled angrily at Raphael as he settled Nightmare on his lap, wrapping her in his arms; as if sensing that she needed the added comfort that only he could give. Donatello waited until his Mistress was settled and lay his head back down on her lap, his arms encircling both hers and Raphael's legs.

"I-I d-on't...what's going on?" Michelangelo stammered in fearful confusion, eyes darting back and forth between the tense occupants of the room.

"So Donny is Donny, just a different, insane version of him?" Raphael asked in confusion.

Nightmare's lips twitched as Donatello glared at Raphael. "I suppose it must seem that way. But my Donatello's life has been shaped by different events than has shaped your Donatello's."

"So what did you do to him? If Donny is just Donny, why is he acting like your pet?"

Nightmare's eyes widened slightly. "I would think the answer obvious," she said in genuine surprise. Nightmare waited for a heartbeat, obviously expecting Leonardo to understand her meaning before she realized that he was not going to offer up any guesses. "Because Donatello is my pet," She finally answered.

Donatello narrowed his eyes in irritation. "I am not your pet, Ni-Katherine," he corrected himself, his words sharp and angry. It didn't matter that what she had said was true. Part of him was her pet, if he allowed himself to be. "I'm your Familiar." Donatello stood then, glaring down at his Mistress in Raphael's arms. He placed a finger beneath her chin and tipped it up. He leaned down slightly. "And Familiars are not _pets_. They are more apt to rip your throat out the first chance they get than help you," his voice was low and harsh, yet somehow contained a hint of seductive lust.

"Demon Familiars, yes. That is why most who seek a Familiar stick to creatures that are much less dangerous, such as minor spirits or something with a small amount of power, like a mutant turtle," she challenged an undercurrent of desire in her voice.

Donatello smirked. "Turtles are probably not the first choice for Familiars."

"True. A turtle would normally not be...beneficial, A mutant one however-"

"Donny isn't an animal, or a pet." Leonardo snarled furiously, interrupting Nightmare's words.

Nightmare's green eyes shifted to Leonardo. "Animal, vegetable or mineral, Leonardo?" She inquired. "Using the simple classification humans have devised to classify things, Donatello is neither a mineral nor a vegetable, therefore he is an animal. Of course this classification process is rather crude, as there are things that exist in this world and on other worlds that would not fall into any of those three categories or possibly a few at the same time. As for being my pet, he could be, if he did not fight against the urge to be such."

Donatello grimaced, pulling away from her slightly. "I've got myself under control," he growled as she looked at him. "It's not my fault that whoever ripped my soul from my body messed things up with my..." he stumbled over the word he usually used to describe his darker self. For some reason he didn't want his brothers -even though they were not his real brothers- to look at him with horror, fear and revulsion.

The naive, quiet, passive version of himself that he had been playing in this world for the past month was -for him- long gone; destroyed and devoured by time, violence, grief and self preservation. He had become Dark Donatello because he had no choice. But worse than them knowing that he _was_ Dark Donatello, was them finding out what he had actually _become._

Nightmare looked at him with concern, but her attention quickly turned away. "You could kill me, Leonardo," Nightmare said evenly to Leonardo who had very slowly stood and had drawn his katana blade, pointing it at her throat. "And perhaps I would die, or perhaps I would be thrown back into my own body, the innocent you had slain punished for being nothing more than a host to my soul."

Leonardo's hand shook as he continued to point his katana blade at Nightmare. "How do we get our Donny back, and how do we free your Donny from whatever you have done to him?" Leonardo barked.

"You will get your Donatello back when my Donatello gets his body back and his soul leaves your brother's body," Nightmare answered quickly. "Of course, we can only hope that your Donatello's soul is still viable."

"Viable?" Master Splinter inquired, his voice shaking.

"If there is nothing left of Donatello's soul, then his body may still be alive, but he will be nothing but an empty husk, a living lump of meat, if you will."

"H-how much of Donny is left?" Leonardo asked in dismay, his face strained and pale.

"I don't know, Donatello?" Nightmare asked.

"I saw Donatello's soul," he answered as he sat down on the arm of the chair his Mistress occupied. "It was translucent and didn't respond to me when I walked close to him. Earlier, when I didn't really understand what was going on, he talked to me and accused me of trying to kill him. I suppose I was, unintentionally."

"Your soul is the stronger of the two, it makes sense that your soul would devour his," Nightmare said with a nod of her head.

"He was trying to write notes to tell everyone what was going on, but everyone just thought I was insane, including myself," Donatello answered regretfully, wishing he had understood all of what his darker self was trying to tell him; all of the dreams and flashes of memory he had been sent.

"Was his soul flickering?" Nightmare asked her gaze intense.

"No, just translucent." Donatello answered.

"That's good...not great, but it means that there is still time to save the other Donatello. Your soul is still devouring him, and I can see that your soul is trying to make Donatello's body like your own."

Donatello swallowed catching his Mistress' warning. He had to control himself or else he would not only completely devour the other Donatello, but he would also irreversibly alter Donatello's body as well. He gave a slight nod of understanding as another horrifying thought struck him. "What about… what about Katherine?" he asked her softly.

Nightmare frowned. "My soul is too different for us to merge, so Katherine's soul is unharmed. What, if any, effect my soul has had on hers, I do not know. But... I spent over a month thinking that I was insane. I finally realized that what I _felt_ to be true was truer than what I _knew_ to be true. I then took Katherine's motorcycle all the way here. Thankfully the lair of this world was located in the same location as the second lair of our world, so I was able to find you. I could only hope that you would at least recognize me as being familiar to you. The fact that you knew Katherine, and remembered her was more than I expected. I believed I would have to spend precious time trying to make you remember. Thankfully this was not the case," Nightmare waved this away. "My point is that my body is out there somewhere, and so is yours and this is worrisome. I would hate to think what would happen if some dark spirit were to happen to find them..." Nightmare's words trailed off in worry.

Donatello gave her a grim nod of agreement. Nightmare's body or his own in the hands of something with a serious amount of power would be disastrous.

"D-dark s-spirit?" Michelangelo asked his eyes as big and round as saucers.

"Or worse." Donatello amended quietly.

"But…those things don't exist," Michelangelo insisted. "They aren't real, neither are magic or Familiars. They only exist in movies and comics! Not real life...right?"

"He isn't as fanciful as our Michelangelo." Donatello murmured as Nightmare gave Michelangelo a strange look.

"There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy." Nightmare quoted softly.

"There was never a Shakespeare in this world." Donatello told her. "So, no Hamlet."

Nightmare blinked in shock. "Really? Well, that must have made many a high school English student happy," she mumbled thoughtfully.

"Katherine's soul is really separate from yours, isn't it?" he asked as he realized that Nightmare had none of Katherine's memories, at least not anymore.

"Yes. And to answer your question, Michelangelo, magic, Familiars, dark spirits, gods, deities, they all exist in some form or another."

"How do we free the other Donatello once we get our Donny back?" Leonardo interrupted, dragging their conversation back to his initial question. "And his brothers, how do we free them?"

"You can't," she answered solemnly. "They can only be released by the one who imprisoned them."

"The white haired demon," Leonardo growled in disgust.

Nightmare opened her mouth to reply; her face filled with confusion. But Donatello spoke before she was able to.

"Yes, the white haired demon," Donatello agreed. "We can't release them now, no matter how much we want to."

"That sounds like giving up, and the Donatello I know would never just give up on his brothers," Leonardo snarled back.

Donatello's eyes narrowed angrily. He stood and walked up to Leonardo. "I didn't give up on them," Donatello snapped. "You have no idea-"

"I don't care!" Leonardo shouted back. "I will help you, we all will," Leonardo reached out and grabbed Donatello's shoulders, squeezing them slightly to emphasize his point. "When we get your body back, we will go to your world, help you free your brothers and break you free from Nightmare."

"No mortal should tread where they are imprisoned, Leonardo," Nightmare spoke softly. "And you would not be able to free them even if you could reach them."

"There is always a way," Leonardo insisted.

"They need to stay where they are," Donatello insisted grimly pulling away from Leonardo's grip.

"Then we will free them without your help," Leonardo growled.

Donatello gave a humorless smile and a snorted disdainfully. "Good luck with that." He stepped closer to Leonardo. "You have no idea what you are dealing with. Your world, filled with the Foot and the Purple Dragons and the Shredder," Donatello shook his head. "You would not be able to handle my world."

"We could," Leonardo bit out defensively. "If you would just tell us-"

"Fine!" Donatello snapped angrily. "That place where my brothers are trapped, is a place of Betwixt and Between. It exists between two realities and occupies a sacred space. So even if you could _somehow_ manage get there, what would you do when faced with the purple dragon that guards them? And I'm not talking about a human Purple Dragon thug, I am talking about a demon in the guise of a dragon, wrapped around the crystal that encases my brothers. AND THEN, if you _could_ manage to get past him, you would have to face the white haired demon."

"Demons can be defeated." Master Splinter supplied gently, trying to give Donatello hope; hope that he didn't need or want.

Donatello never wavered his gaze from Leonardo's, but did comment on Master Splinter's observation. "With the right weapons spiritual demons can be killed or at least driven back. Hell demons are practically impossible to kill. But the white haired demon is neither of those. She's...well, she's no _ordinary_ demon,'" Donatello paused gauging Leonardo's reaction.

Leonardo kept his face blank.

"She's the Devil."

Leonardo's mouth fell open in shock as gasps rose all around him. "S-she...she's...as in the..." he stammered, completely nonplused, his words trailing off.

"As in the ruler of Hell, yes. She is the High Prince of Hell, though perhaps Queen would be a better term. They call her Lady Morning Star and if you want to know how powerful she is, well...she killed Lucifer himself. The fallen angel and former ruler of Hell. Her alone against millions of demons, Fallen and Lucifer, and she won," Donatello paused again waiting for any reply from anyone and not getting anything continued. "So excuse me for thinking that your world is simple, and your idea of a rescue seem ludicrous."

"Donny, I..." his voice trailed off.

"Don't bother offering up any excuses or comfort, Leo, I don't want to hear them right now. Nightmare and I have accepted that it is what it is, and we are working on freeing them, but it will take time."

"Then we free you from Nightmare." Leonardo offered.

"I don't want to be free of Nightmare!" Donatello snapped, his anger rising again.

"Donny-" Leonardo began, trying to control his own temper.

"I can't be freed, Leo, okay. I don't want to be and even if I did it's impossible."

"Only death can set Donatello free," Nightmare interjected softly.

Leonardo stared at Donatello in shocked horror. "That's not true," he whispered shaking his head back and forth, his sword hanging by his side, forgotten. "It can't be true."

"The terms of his Contract are quite clear," Nightmare continued, voice even, smooth, but containing heavy regret.

"If...if there is a contract, there's always a way to break it." Michelangelo stammered, his voice shaking with fear and disbelief.

Nightmare shook her head sadly. "I have been trying for a very long time to break it, but the terms of the agreement are explicit. The original Contract -the Covenant- was forged clumsily and unknowingly, but it is still just as binding. As of right now, the term of his service to me is forever. Should I die, he too will die. Should he die it is possible that this event may finally release him."

"You must have forced him." Leonardo growled. "There is no way the Donny I know would have agreed to…to become someone's pet..."

"I did it of my own free will." Donatello interjected quietly but firmly.

"Donny…why?" Leonardo whispered in horror.

"Love." Donatello answered simply.

* * *

**Thoughts and opinions are always appreciated! hope this answered a few questions...maybe? *chirp chirp* I think I can hear crickets...hmmm**


	12. Chapter 12

**A giant thank you to Amonraphoenix for beta reading this chapter for me, you ROCK and are beyond AWESOME!**

**also a big thank you as well to my lovely reviewers, you know who you are! for leaving your feedback and wonderful words of encouragement.**

**Please enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 12**

**Leonardo** was taking deep calming breaths, trying to wrap his head around the fact that the Donatello sitting on the arm of the chair in front of him wasn't his brother; not completely anyway. His mind tumbled around in a jumble of thoughts as he remembered every confused conversation and dream that Donatello had experienced, and found it horrifying. And because they had been so convinced that Donatello was insane, their Donatello -their _real_ brother's soul- was slowly being eaten by another, stronger version of his brother from a parallel universe.

He looked at the woman clutched in Raphael's arms. He pointed his katana blade towards her throat the cut across her cheek an angry red as he tried to fight back a twinge of remorse for cutting her smooth alabaster cheek.

"How do we free the other Donatello once we get our Donny back?" Leonardo ground out. "And his brothers, how do we free them?"

The woman turned her glorious green gaze towards him and he avoided it, looking away, his heart hammering uncomfortably in his chest.

Fear filled him as he tried to fight against the soft, alluring, haunting cadence of her words. She and Donatello both explained how there was nothing they could do to free Donatello's brothers. The mention of the Devil sent icy terror flowing through his veins and he knew that there was nothing that he could say or offer to make his situation any better, but he offered one up anyway.

"Then we free you from Nightmare."

Donatello protested this. Leonardo could not imagine why Donatello would want to be a virtual slave to anyone, let alone whatever kind of woman Nightmare was.

"Only death can set Donatello free." Nightmare explained softly.

Leonardo couldn't believe it, any of it. It had to be a lie and he told her this, even though he knew in his gut that she was telling the truth. He didn't know why, he didn't trust her and was frightened of her for reasons his mind couldn't even seem to comprehend, but somehow believed her.

Leonardo gripped his katana more firmly, ignoring the blazing pain that throbbed in his other shoulder.

"You must have forced him." Leonardo interjected desperately. "There is no way the Donny I know would have agreed to…to become someone's pet, their slave..."

"I did it of my own free will, Leo." Donatello quietly refuted Leonardo's claim of coercion.

"Donny…why?" Leonardo whispered as his heart clenched in horror within his chest.

"Love," Donatello answered simply.

Leonardo's gaze shot to Donatello who was looking up at him with half lowered lids, his head tipped down towards his hands which lay in his lap. Disbelief coursed through Leonardo as he attempted to wrap his mind around Donatello being in love with... a human? The way Donatello had said the word it was obvious that he wasn't talking about the kind of love for his brothers, he was talking about romantic love. This was was a concept so foreign to Leonardo and his other brothers that Donatello may as well have been trying to explain one of his complicated mathematical theories for all that it made sense to him.

"Katherine." Leonardo heard himself say as all of the pieces fell into place. Donatello visibly flinched at the sound of her name. Donatello had claimed that he had lost not only his brothers, but the woman he loved as well, and from his reaction to Katherine, she must have been the one who Donatello had lost.

Leonardo's eyes shot to Nightmare, who currently inhabited the body of a woman known as Katherine.

"Donatello formed his Covenant with Katherine, but..." Nightmare's words trailed off.

"Katherine was killed," Donatello whispered wretchedly, his shoulders slumping in defeat his head bowed forward in unimaginable grief. "I should have died with her, but I was saved._ I_ was saved, even though she wasn't," Donatello's voice shook with a bitter sadness that made Leonardo's heart twist painfully.

"I am sorry that I am in this form, Donatello." Nightmare whispered quietly.

Donatello looked up in surprise and glanced over at her, his eyes widening in shock. Donatello shifted so that he was able to face Nightmare and reached out a hand brushing it gently across her injured cheek.

"Is Katherine destined to always have a scar upon this cheek, given to her by Leo?" Donatello asked softly.

"I don't know, Donatello. This world and on our world, yes; others, I am not sure. But I believe the scar must always be there, though Leonardo's involvement may not always be necessary."

"You look as she did that night when Katherine got her scar." Donatello murmured, his eyes distant, as if remembering something dark and unpleasant. "I couldn't do anything." He whispered miserably. "I just stood there as Leo pinned you to the desk , his katana blade pressed against your throat as he tried to rape you."

Leonardo dropped his own katana blade to the ground in revulsion; the sharp, biting, clatter of iron upon stone reverberating throughout the deathly silent living room.

Donatello was so caught up in his own memories that he seemed to have forgotten that he was talking with Nightmare, who was merely inside Katherine's body, as opposed to Katherine herself.

Leonardo's eyes shot to Raphael's who pulled his head up from where he had buried his face in Nightmare's hair. Raphael's amber eyes narrowed in anger as his lips pulled away from his teeth in a silent snarl.

Leonardo shook his head back and forth in denial of what his counterpart had done. "I-I..." Leonardo stammered, feeling the need to defend not only himself, but his doppelganger as well. He knew himself well enough to know that no matter what had ever happened to him, there was no way he could do what Donatello had accused his counterpart of doing.

"Leonardo barely survived that encounter." Nightmare reached out and gently touched Donatello's hand, which was still resting against her cheek. "And it was not Leonardo, he was possessed, remember? He was no longer in control of his own body. That night nearly destroyed him."

Leonardo swallowed down his terror, the thought of being possessed by something that had made him -or rather, his counterpart- act in a way that was so abhorrent to him made the bile rise up in his throat. Nightmare was right; he was surprised the other Leonardo had managed to survive the encounter. Leonardo knew that if it were him, he would have taken his own life the first moment he was able to do so.

Donatello pulled his hand away from Nightmare's comforting one, and clenched his fist in anger. "Everything just got so...messed up," Donatello began angrily." I can't have what happened to us, happen to them," Donatello insisted fervently, his arm sweeping across to include Leonardo and his family.

"It won't." Nightmare replied softly.

Donatello leapt to his feet. "How can you be sure?!" He snarled turning his back to her.

Nightmare bit her lip and Leonardo realized that he had been wondering what those lips would taste like. He shook his head, taking a step back and focusing on Donatello's words instead.

"Katherine," Donatello rounded on her, a faint red glow in his eyes. "Katherine is the key. They must always meet -us and Katherine- that's what Darkness said. And now here we are, bringing them together, and it never ends well."

"Doesn't it?" She asked.

Donatello looked at Nightmare studying her. "The price is...it's always too high."

Nightmare tipped her head to the side, but did not reply, as if she was waiting for Donatello to continue his thoughts; or she agreed with him.

"Will they love you like we did?" Donatello asked desperately.

"I do not know if they will love Katherine as your brothers did, or if Katherine in return will love all of them, or if only one will be held within her heart. This is a different world, with different variables and situations." Nightmare answered as Leonardo felt his eyes widen in surprise.

_What did she mean by 'if __**they **__will love Katherine'__**?**_Leonardo questioned himself as he tried to understand a world where he loved a human woman, and couldn't.

"Is this Raph Soul Rung too? Is that why he is clinging to you like he is and talking about soul mates?" Donatello asked as he begun to pace back and forth, his movements agitated and angry.

"I don't know, Donatello," she answered quietly, a hitch of some deep emotion in her voice.

"What is Soul Rung?" Master Splinter asked carefully.

Nightmare turned her attention to their father, her face containing an edge of worry and sadness. Leonardo felt himself take a few steps towards her, surprising both of them. He stopped, not sure what he had wanted to do.

Leonardo looked over his shoulder at his father and Michelangelo, wincing as he did so. His vision suddenly swam, blackness creeping in around the edges. He felt himself start to fall, his knees giving out. Unexpectedly, Donatello managed to catch him before he fell to the hard stone floor.

Donatello gently lay him down on the couch. He looked up, his family hovering around him, worry and concern etched into their faces. Donatello prodded at his arm and he bit back a hiss of pain as he closed his eyes tightly, waiting for the black and red waves of agony to subside.

A warm hand was placed against his cheek and he again felt his skin prickle with awareness at the tender touch. He refused to open his eyes until she was gone. She stroked his cheek again before her hand vanished from his cheek. He waited a few moments before slowly opening one eye a crack to see where she had gone. Nightmare had moved away his vision filled with Michelangelo pulling a blanket over him and tucking it in around the sides.

"You need to rest, Leo," Donatello advised as Michelangelo sat on the couch by Leonardo's legs. "You'll only make your injury worse, you probably already have." Donatello picked his katana up off the floor and placed it gently on the coffee table.

Leonardo frowned in irritation, shifting himself up with Donatello's help so that he wouldn't be lying flat, but propped up by the arm of the couch.

Raphael was touching Nightmare again, arms wrapped around her shoulders from behind. Raphael looked worried, his amber eyes searching Leonardo's own in concern.

"Whadaya mean, Soul Rung? Is that bad?" Raphael asked nervously as Donatello pressed in close to Nightmare.

"Being Soul Rung is…it's bad," Donatello mumbled.

Nightmare sighed. "It isn't bad, Donatello, it is beautiful. But it is a beauty too precious, too sublime for mere mortals." Raphael suddenly picked Nightmare up into his arms and settled himself back down on the chair, pulling her away from Donatello.

Donatello looked at Raphael and growled threateningly.

Raphael glared black, lips pulled back in a snarl, his arms tightening around her body.

Donatello let out an irritated huff of air and settled back down at Nightmare's feet.

"The other me, he this Soul Rung thing?" Raphael asked.

"Yeah." Donatello answered softly. "Being Soul Rung is…If every soul on the planet beats and pulses, chimes and rings at its own frequency -each as unique as a snowflake- no two should ever be alike. But if it happens that there are two alike and they look into each other's eyes, they are lost to one another. Their love something too great, too deep, to describe with mere mortal words."

"So like...soul mates?" Michelangelo offered up.

"No," Donatello answered with a shake of his head. "Soul mates don't exist, not like how we think of them anyway. The gods don't go around cleaving souls in two to make two perfect halves, but it is possible for two souls to be very similar in pitch and frequency. That is true love, that feeling that you had found your soul mate. But Katherine… Katherine _was_ my soul mate, not just a true love, but an actual soul _mate_," Donatello whispered, his voice containing the sharp edge of misery and wretchedness.

"We were Soul Bound," he said taking a deep breath before continuing, as if the words and images still had the ability to cause pain. "I told you that I was dying. I had been shot and I should have died, but Katherine refused to let me go. She ventured into Death's domain, found my soul and bargained with Death himself for my life. But she gave up too much, her life in exchange for mine. I refused to accept those terms. I was not going to let the woman I loved die for me. I promised to help her and protect her forever. I promised never to let her die. Another bargain was struck with Death and Katherine promised never to let my soul go. We didn't know what we had done. I didn't know that I had agreed to become her Familiar, or that she had inadvertently bound our souls together for all eternity," Donatello paused, closing his eyes tightly before continuing.

"But Raph was so much more than_ just_ a true love, or _just_ a soul mate, he was her True Mate, her _true_ Soul Mate. He existed for her and because of her. She existed for him and because of him. Their souls rang together, their hearts beat as one; each breath they took, they took together. They were two beings with one soul, but we didn't know. We didn't know any of this and I messed things up between them because she was now bound to me. Her love for me warred with her love for Raph. But it was always Raph. It should have been Raph. But we messed things up because all of my brothers were bound to Katherine in ways we didn't even know existed, or could exist. We all loved her, and she loved all of us, and when she died...we were all devastated, but Mikey and Leo were at least able continue on. They got out of bed each day and things seemed to get a little better for them. I too managed to do this, even though her loss nearly broke me. But Raph..." Donatello paused again and looked up at Raphael who looked back at him, eyes golden and filled with an emotion that Leonardo couldn't quite recognize.

"The reason that two souls being Soul Rung isn't supposed to happen- besides the fact that none should exist- is because mortals are never supposed to experience that kind of undying love; because they die. To love that powerfully, that fully and completely, is a curse, because the mortal heart is supposed to be able to get through grief, come to terms with it, and perhaps even move on in time. But with being Soul Rung," Donatello shook his head. "It was a miracle that Raph managed to survive her death. His heart stopped beating the moment hers did. We managed to get his heart pumping again but... it would have been a mercy to just let him die," Donatello whispered wretchedly as Leonardo felt himself gasp in shock.

Donatello looked at them, gaze intense. "You see, Raph could never move on, ever. Over time the crippling, devastating grief of Katherine's loss would remain as fresh and new as if it had only just happened. I think he would have been driven mad if it wasn't for his plan."

"What plan? What happened to me?" Raphael whispered. "The other me?"

Donatello stood so that Raphael had to look up at him. "After Katherine's death, Raphael lived, even after he was so badly beaten one night that he lost his sight and nearly his life, but he fought to live, refusing to die. I was naive enough to believe that Raphael would be fine. I was grateful for this because I knew Leo and Mikey would need him. I didn't have much longer to live, and I knew that Leo and Mikey wouldn't be able to bear the loss of two brothers, and so I tried to help Raph the best I could with what little time I had left. Only…Raph had his plan. He thought he had to suffer for letting Katherine die. His punishment was living. But he had given himself a time limit, and after that…" Donatello's voice shook as he swallowed before continuing. "We found him lying in a pool of his own blood; he had taken his sai and plunged it straight through his heart; his death in mimicry of Katherine's murder."

Leonardo felt all of the blood drain from his face as he stared at Donatello who was looking at Raphael with a forceful intensity. Raphael flinched at Donatello's words and grew pale, but did not say anything; none of them did, because words had failed them.

Leonardo was beyond horrified as he imagined a world where one of his brothers took their own life and felt his heart twist as his stomach threatened to rebel its meagre contents.

"I don't want that to happen to your Raphael," Donatello turned his attention away from Raphael and towards Master Splinter. "But it may be already too late."

Master Splinter's face was etched with horror and worry.

"So the other me is dead, Mikey and Leo are trapped in some big chunk of rock, and you are stuck as some sort of...of Familiar." Raphael growled, clutching Nightmare closer, as if seeking or offering comfort.

Nightmare's face was concealed in darkened shadow, her head bowed either in grief or solemn contemplation, either way she offered up no words of solace or grief, only heavy silence.

"Raph is still alive, at least...for now. He and my brothers are alive within the crystal. They are in suspended animation, frozen within time and space. Nightmare managed to bring Raph back to us, and now I'm her Familiar. Of course, I didn't want to be. I had a choice; become her Familiar or die...I chose death. But in the end, I had no choice; the option taken away from me by the cruel hands of an enemy, and the threats against my family. And if you are thinking that Nightmare forced me to be her Familiar or that somehow this was our payment for bringing Raph back, you're wrong." Donatello told them fiercely, settling back down at Nightmares feet.

Leonardo had the distinct impression that any more questions about how he became Nightmare's Familiar would not be openly welcomed.

As for Raphael being brought back from the dead...the idea was ludicrous, as ludicrous as the idea of magic. Magic was not real. No one came back from the dead, at least, not from having a sai plunged through their heart. Magic was all smoke and mirrors, illusions and deceptions. Even though he had accused the woman of having Donatello enamoured through some sort of spell, he didn't actually believe it was magic, more like some sort of drug, toxin, or even brainwashing, not _actual _magic.

"Using magic to resurrect the dead uses the very darkest and blackest of magics, and is forbidden," Master Splinter said with grim, dangerous disapproval as he stood.

His father saying such a thing -as if he actually believed in magic- startled him. Leonardo could admit to himself that he knew there were far more things that walked around on Earth than what humans knew about -like them for example- and he could believe in such a thing as demons -those dark spirits that roamed the earth in search of something to satisfy their unquenchable hunger- but he drew the line at _magic_.

Something in the air changed, goose bumps rode along Leonardo's skin, and if he had hair, it would have been standing uncomfortably on end.

Master Splinter's eyes had become intense, darkened orbs of concentration. Nightmare lifted her head, her moss green eyes overly bright as they gazed at their father. Her eyes looked as if they were lit from within by some powerful force, but Leonardo knew it was only the sheen of unshed tears that granted her eyes such breathtaking luminosity.

But something else in her eyes had changed as well. There was a heaviness in her gaze that bespoke of too much time and too much knowledge; knowledge that she shouldn't have to _know_, let alone _bear_. She sat straighter, protected within Raphael's arms, Donatello at her feet, as if she were some queen who sat upon a high backed throne, her slaves scattered about her to fulfil her ever wish, ever desire, every command; unthinkingly, and unerringly.

"Magic is a force of nature; raw, unequivocal power in its basest form. It can be kind and cruel, wild and tamed, but much like any dangerous beast trapped within the cruel confines of a cage, it only wishes to be free," Nightmare gravely informed them, the luminous quality to her eyes ebbing, like a slow, crystal tide.

"No." This small word tore through the room like the crack of a whip.

Donatello's head whipped around and studied the wise old rat. Leonardo could see that there was something feral leaking into Donatello's gaze, something that spoke of wild forests, claws, teeth, and a savage, bestial need to survive and protect; to guard what it held up to be worthy of such protection.

Leonardo shivered a little with fear, his eyes moving to Raphael, who held almost the same feral look in his eyes. It wasn't as entrenched, not as clear as Donatello's, but it was still sitting within his golden depths, a smoldering purposeful intensity that slapped Leonardo right across the face with the shock of it. At that moment he knew without a shadow of a doubt, that Raphael would attack Master Splinter- any of them for that matter- if they so much as moved one beautiful, golden-russet lock of Nightmare's hair out of place.

The living room suddenly crackled with tension, having been transformed into a powder keg of possible violence. One wrong movement, one wrong word, and the living room's occupants would explode with vicious snarls, drawn weapons and bloodthirsty cries of battle.

Master Splinter's ears were pinned back flat against his head, whiskers twitching with anger, and fear. Whether the fear was of her or for Donatello and Raphael, Leonardo was unsure, but it was probably a little bit of both.

At that moment Leonardo was almost tempted to try to kill the woman in front of him; release whatever hold she had on Raphael, hope that she lied about Donatello dying, and deal with the overwhelming guilt of having murdered an innocent woman later.

But more than this, he needed to free himself from the terror that he could feel building up inside and all around him. Like a stray leaf caught in an idle, yet capricious breeze, Leonardo could feel himself being tossed around, yet inevitably drawn to the woman in front of him. He was like a moth drawn to a flame; he knew only danger and death waited for him, and yet he still felt himself moving closer anyway.

Leonardo looked at his katana which had been placed on the coffee table in front of him. He calculated how long -in his current injured and weakened state- it would take for him to grab his beloved blade, lunge forward, and plunge it straight through Nightmare's heart. The timing would be too close to call, he'd probably be killed in the process -whatever the outcome- but it just might be worth it if it freed his brothers.

"Forbidden magic is forbidden for a reason." Master Splinter's voice still contained a sharp edge of steel as he spoke."The price paid to bring a soul back from the grip of death is too high," Master Splinter bit out and Leonardo suddenly felt something hot, heavy and thick upon his skin accompanied by the sharp, biting smell of ozone before a thunder storm drifting through the air.

His eyes widened in shock, his weapon forgotten on the table as he realized that their father was exuding a strong, intense amount of spiritual power upon Nightmare.

Their father was trying to...what? Break the hold she had upon Donatello and Raphael -perhaps only Raphael- Leonardo wasn't sure, but from the calm expression on Nightmare's face, and the tense, menacing postures of his brothers, it didn't seem to be working.

"Master, all of this talk of magic…it's not real," Leonardo insisted as he looked back and forth between his father and Nightmare.

"Magic is only too real, my son," Master Splinter informed them solemnly. "Our spiritual powers could be considered a form of magic. But the type of magic they are talking about..." Master Splinter shook his head in disgust. "As much as I would do anything to protect my sons from death, and no matter how much I would wish to bring them back if they suffered such a fate, I would not. I would accept the grief as my due and perhaps accept it in time. I would not deal with things better left in the dark. "

Nightmare's eyes flashed with the brief flare of some hidden, powerful emotion before her face settled into lines of calm composure. She sighed wearily dragging her hands through her golden-russet curling locks. Her body relaxed as did both Donatello and Raphael. They lost their feral, menacing looks; Donatello placed his head in her lap while Raphael buried his face in her neck and hair.

Nightmare finally spoke softly. "You are of course correct. Good and evil, light and dark, they dance, twist and writhe within the confines of magic. Death magic is cruel, evil and vile -for all parties involved- but not because magic itself is evil. It is evil because the wielder twists it to suit their own horrific and selfish purpose," Nightmare informed them. "Magic always comes with a price, be it a year of your life, power, a dream, blood, or even your very soul; it is never without cost. Revenants such as ghouls, zombies, jiang shi, and vampires, are the dead brought back to life, their souls placed back into rotting corpses that feast on the living in some form or another. This type of magic can be accomplished by using a great amount of power, blood and perhaps an animal sacrifice or two. Blood, life, and power are the ingredients for all resurrections. But a true resurrection requires a life for a life of equal measure; a human life for a human life, a mutant turtle for a mutant turtle. Though in truth, a human life would suffice for a mutant turtle because their souls are of equal weight. Such magic as this is truly evil and as such, it leaves a stain of smut upon the practitioner's soul," Nightmare calmly explained as Leonardo felt spots dance before his eyes.

Leonardo knew that if one of his brothers had died and if someone had offered him the hope of restoring that brother to life, he would take it, even at the cost of his own. Unlike his father, he wouldn't care if it damned his own soul for eternity, he couldn't...wouldn't let a brother die. _But who made the sacrifice?_ Leonardo's eyes shot to Donatello, who had already informed them that he was dying_. Did Donatello give up his life so Raphael could live? Was Donatello transformed into some kind of creature by Nightmare after she killed him?_ His mind skittered away from this thought, but took a breath to ask the question anyway.

"How tainted is your soul? How much smut have you covered it with to attain whatever power you have?" Leonardo found himself asking instead of his original question.

"Her soul is..." Donatello cut himself off, eyes narrowing dangerously. "I would have given my life for Raph's in a heartbeat," Donatello stated fiercely as he quickly stood. "Any of us would have."

Nightmare smiled and chuckled, the reaction surprising everyone in the room, including Donatello.

"Do not concern yourself with the state of my damned and tortured soul, Leonardo." Her voice was soft, but contained a hint of grim, almost malicious humour. Leonardo glanced away from her, making sure he did not look her in the eyes. "But I did not sacrifice anyone for Raphael. You see, as long as you can get to the soul before either Death or a Reaper claims the it, the price of a resurrection is far more reasonable, just blood and power."

Nightmare pulled free from Raphael's arms and stood, placing her hand against Donatello's plastron, he pulled Nightmare close.

"We have to save them," Donatello told her earnestly. "I can't bear to have what happened to us, happen to them."

Nightmare looked at Donatello seriously and nodded, her face solemn. "It won't, Donatello."

"How can you be so sure?" Donatello insisted.

Nightmare sighed. "Because the events that shaped this world are different than the ones that shaped ours."

Donatello pulled away from her and closed his eyes, running a hand down his face in irritation. "I know you are not trying to be purposefully obtuse-" he began before being cut off by Nightmare.

"I can't promise anything, Donatello. The exact same events cannot happen as I have already stated, but I do know that events have already been set in motion on this world. They are being drawn towards their fate. I don't know what will happen, so all we can do is just hold onto the hope that everything will be okay."

Donatello stared at Nightmare, his eyes narrowed dangerously and contained a hint of golden-red fire.

Raphael stood walking over to Nightmare, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close.

"Hope isn't good enough." Donatello bit out scathingly.

"It is all we have." Nightmare stated softly. "The soft, brilliant plea that we send off into the void of the Universe and the hope that the Universe will listen."

Donatello closed his eyes and took a deep, calming breath.

"But if it eases your heart some, I do not believe Raphael is Soul Rung," Nightmare said encouragingly.

Donatello's eyes snapped open and Leonardo felt relief flood through him at Nightmare's pronouncement.

"If memory serves, our Raphael did not act like this at first with Katherine. There is something very strong pulling me to Raphael, something I have not felt before, something beautiful, but... the world did not stop to catch its breath," she said as if this explained everything. "But, it's possible that our presence may have caused a sort of rippling echo effect from our world onto this one; though the chances of this is rather unlikely." She stated tipping her head to the side in thought. "It is strange, but...it seems to be that Raphael is mimicking you."

Donatello's eyes widened in surprise. Leonardo studied both Raphael and Donatello and had to admit that the similarities between the two were eerily similar.

"I ain't actin' like Donny," Raphael growled defiantly.

Nightmare turned her head to study Raphael, who still had her clutched in his arms. "Yes, you are. You are protective of me and cling to me like a ferocious guard dog. And when Donatello touches me, you burn with jealous anger."

Raphael's eyes narrowed indignantly, his lips pulling back from his teeth in a snarl.

Leonardo felt his skin tingle with dread. He swallowed and shifted his eyes to his katana blade again.

Nightmare suddenly pulled away from Raphael's grip and wrapped herself in Donatello's arms. She looked over at Raphael whose eyes narrowed further, into golden slits of rage that took on a hint of red.

"Raphael, stop!" Nightmare snapped sharply.

Raphael approached her, a low growl issuing from his lips and he glared menacingly at Donatello.

Nightmare pulled away from Donatello and met Raphael. Raphael drew her into his arms and looked down at her. "You are mine, do you understand?" he asked in a possessive and deadly low voice.

Donatello's eyes narrowed angrily, bleeding to golden red. "She is _my_ mate, not _yours_," he roared, his hands bunching into fists, knuckles turning white.

"Why are they acting like this?" Michelangelo asked, his voice shaking in fear at the scene playing out in front of him

"How?" Nightmare asked her face full of confusion as she studied Raphael. "It's like he is as Donatello is, but he isn't. He even has..." The red light in Raphael's eyes dimmed slightly as he looked down at Nightmare, tipping her head up and kissing her passionately.

Donatello strode forward, hand clamping around Nightmare's delicate upper arm, and pulling her away from Raphael.

Raphael balled his hands into fists about, to retaliate.

"Stop!" Nightmare ordered before turning her attention to Donatello, gently prying his hand from her arm.

Leonardo had no doubt that Nightmare's flesh would have the beginnings of a bruise forming on her arm under her clothing.

"Donatello, this is very important," Nightmare's voice broke through the thick tense silence that filled the lair as its occupants held their breath, waiting for further violence. "Did you at any time, somehow touch Raphael's soul?"

Donatello looked at Nightmare in angry confusion. "Of course not!' he barked out in exasperation. "How would I have..." Donatello hastily cut himself off, eyes flying to Raphael and widening in dismay.

"Donatello?" she asked carefully.

Donatello swallowed and did not react when Raphael pulled Nightmare back into his arms again.

"I...but it wasn't..."

Nightmare's eyes narrowed. "What did you do?" she asked her voice low, harsh and containing an edge of anger.

"I pulled Raph's spirit into my dream and my darker self attacked him. I fought him off and helped Raph up and then we both woke up and Raph was sick," Donatello informed her taking a step back at the fury and disbelief in Nightmare's eyes.

"Another word for spirit is soul, Donatello," Nightmare snapped.

Donatello crossed his arms over his chest defensively, suddenly holding his ground. "So?"

Nightmare closed her eyes, attempting to reign in her anger. "Touching another person's soul is... Perhaps it would not normally present a problem, but when dealing with souls that hold a certain amount of Power, the effects can be rather... unpredictable."

Donatello blinked in shock.

"Unpredictable how?" Leonardo asked in trepidation, his heart hammering with fear.

"Katherine bound her soul and Donatello's soul together because she _held_ onto his soul and promised to never let it go. What Donatello did by _touching_ Raphael's soul I don't know, but it has obviously done something," Nightmare explained grimly.

"Like what?" Raphael asked in confusion.

Nightmare brushed a hand through her hair again. "I don't know. I may be able to know more once I get my body back. Just for now, Raphael I need you to try to control your temper, which is I know asking a lot, but just try.." Her voice sounded oddly resigned as if she knew that Raphael controlling his temper would be something of a minor miracle. "If we are lucky, whatever has happened will wear off, with no one the worse for the experience."

"But what-" Michelangelo began, but Nightmare waved off his question.

"Michelangelo," Nightmare said with a movement of her hand. "Time is growing more and more precious with each passing moment. The longer we delay, the greater the chances that your Donatello is not going to survive," Nightmare pronounced grimly. "We need to get our bodies back and-"

"I think I know where Donny's body is." Michelangelo suddenly interrupted, voice full of sudden excitement.

All eyes turned towards Michelangelo in astonishment. Michelangelo blinked at them. "What?" he asked innocently.

"Mikey," Raphael rumbled dangerously.

"Remember all the weird little messages the Purple Dragons have been leaving us since Donatello...switched bodies?"

"The Shredder," Raphael growled as Michelangelo nodded in agreement.

Leonardo remembered the writing on the wall of the alley when he had been injured. It hadn't made any sense to him at the time, pain and unconsciousness had blinded him to anything but his laboured breathing and the warm blood that was pumping freely from his body.

"The Shredder's gotta have Donny's body," Michelangelo agreed with a nod.

Nightmare and Donatello looked at each other and grimaced.

"Does the Shredder have your body as well?" Donatello questioned.

Nightmare frowned in thought. "I do not believe so. I do not remember seeing you when we came to this world. I believe we were separated and that my body is elsewhere. But for now, your body is the priority, not mine. The other Donatello's very soul hangs in the balance."

Donatello nodded in agreement. "I hope for the Shredder's sake, his fate is better than that of our Shredder," Donatello mumbled under his breath.

Nightmare shrugged. "True," she agreed. "Now, where do we find your Shredder?" she asked curiously.

* * *

***phew* okay I know that was a lot to chew on and so many questions that still need to be answered, but hope you all enjoyed:D Thought and opinions always welcome!**


	13. Chapter 13

**A giant thank you to Amonraphoenix for her mad beta reading skills!**

**And a big thank you to Mela989898, I love kittens too and sleepingseeker for your awesome reviews!**

**Please enjoy!**

* * *

Chapter 13

**Donatello** managed to pull Nightmare aside when the rest of the room's occupants decided to discuss everything away from them. His 'family' didn't trust them, not that he could really blame them, but still, the situation hurt his heart a little.

He turned his attention to Nightmare. "So what did I do to Raph?" he asked in a soft voice, his heart filling with worry.

Nightmare stared into space for a few moments before blinking and focusing her attention on him, her eyes briefly straying to Raphael before sliding back to his own. "You know what your dark half is, Donatello," Nightmare responded softly. "It is possible that he left an imprint of himself upon Raphael's soul."

Donatello blinked at her in shock. "What does that even mean?" Donatello asked, shooting Raphael a quick glance. Raphael seemed to be having a hard time paying attention to the discussion that was going on around him. His eyes continually strayed to Nightmare, an angry expression crossing his features every time Donatello got too close to her.

Nightmare sighed snapping Donatello's focus back to her. "It means that I can only guess at what has happened. Your dark half was grabbing onto Raphael's _soul_."

"So you've said, but what exactly does that mean? And I touched Raphael's soul as well, did I do anything to him?"

"You?" she questioned pausing to think before answering. "Probably not. Your soul has an anchor because you have a body. Your dark half uses your soul as an anchor as it has no corporeal body of its own; it never has. It is a spiritual entity which means it is comprised solely of Power. So it is possible that a small bit of power was transferred to Raphael. However, it is also possible that your dark half's _nature_ was transferred, possibly both." Nightmare paused again so that her words could sink in. He stared at her blankly and she sighed trying again.

"Think of it like two bodies of water coming together and then touching. One body of water, being stronger, let's say, pushes into the other, mixing slightly before receding. So I am not sure how much of you dark half's essence was transferred into Raphael. Best case scenario, he feels a little bit of an echo of your darker self's thoughts and desires that will wear off in a few days leaving him no worse for wear."

"And the worst case?" Donatello asked already knowing the answer, but needing to hear her say it.

"He becomes what you are," Nightmare said as she shifted her gaze to Raphael, assessing him.

"Oh, gods," Donatello whispered in horror.

"If he is becoming as you are, it would be best to bind him so that he is able to be controlled."

"B-bind him?" Donatello stammered in shock.

"Yes. If he is bound he can not only be controlled, but his Master can also subvert his dark half, leaving him much as he is, his dark half dormant."

"Nightmare, there has to be a way to...to..." his voice trailed off as he looked at her face, filled with regret because she was never wrong.

"If he is becoming as you are, I could no more reverse what is happening to him than I could reverse what happened to you."

Donatello bit his lip in frustration."But why now? Raph was fine until...until you arrived," Donatello whispered.

Nightmare blinked and nodded slowly, processing this information. Her eyes widened in realization. "Raphael is not Soul Rung, he is Soul Called," she whispered.

Donatello's eye ridges rose in shock, he had heard that term once before in another parallel universe. "And when Raphael looked into your eyes, his soul called out and yours answered. And because of this even if his darker self was just an echo that would have faded, the sound of your two souls together would have given his dark self a source of power to become...real."

Nightmare nodded in agreement. "But it is not my soul to which Raphael is reacting, it is Katherine's."

Donatello closed his eyes as his heart was lanced with pain. _Yet another world where Raphael and Katherine were supposed to be together,_ he thought to himself bitterly. He could only hope that things turned out better for this version of his brother, than what had happened to his own.

Donatello blew out a breath of air. "So what do we do?" he asked in resignation.

"We will bind him to a witch."

Donatello closed his eyes. "Where are we going to find a witch?" he asked. "We are running out of time, remember?"

Nightmare remained silent and his eyes snapped open to look at her in question. "Katherine," he said as he swallowed.

Nightmare gave a faint nod of acknowledgement. "I shall let her out. Have her bind him, and return. I have discussed it with her and she is amendable to such an arrangement."

Donatello stared at her for a moment, nonplused.

He had forgotten.

He had forgotten what it was like being with Nightmare, who was always two steps -hells- twenty steps ahead of him. Trying to catch up to the way she thought and looked at the world was like foolishly trying to catch the tail end of a rainbow, and yet he still tried.

"The binding should allow me and eventually Katherine to subvert Raphael's darker half, keeping him from manifesting and hopefully preventing him from changing into what you are."

Donatello swallowed down his horror and nodded, knowing what Nightmare expected of him. With a heavy heart he turned facing the family that was not his own and slowly approached them. The moment he did so they quit talking. He cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his neck nervously, attempting to appear innocent and unthreatening.

Master Splinter's ears fell back against his head in anger and Donatello felt tears spring to his eyes.

Master Splinter's ears slowly lifted from his skull as he studied Donatello. Too many emotions were tumbling through him, he felt like a plastic bag being thrown around in a strong wind. "I know that you aren't my father and that you don't trust me, which is fair, but I just wanted to say...thank you for being my father again, for a short time and...I wish I had been able to say goodbye to my father before he passed away." Donatello watched out of the corner of his eye as Raphael moved silently to where Nightmare stood by herself her expression blank.

Leonardo's eyes watched Nightmare with suspicion. He looked as if he was going to call Raphael back, but Donatello's words seemed to give him pause. "Did the Shredder kill your father?" Leonardo asked quietly.

Donatello blinked and shook his head. "No, he died peacefully in his sleep one night." He answered. "But he was still gone too soon," Donatello added solemnly.

* * *

**Raphael** approached Nightmare, drawn to her for reasons he himself couldn't explain. Donatello had finally left her side, walking up to them and distracting his family so that he could quietly edge his way towards her.

He felt as if he needed to be close to her. Touching her was even better. He didn't understand why he felt the way he did, and although he cared and was bothered by the fact that he no longer seemed to be in control of his own body or mind, he did not bother to struggle against it.

"Hello, Raphael," her words rode along his skin like a soft caress. She lifted her hand and touched his cheek and he felt sparks fly. Raphael stepped closer, crushing her to his body and leaning down, claiming her lips in a searing kiss that left him wanting...no, needing more.

He forced himself to pull away before he started tearing her clothes from her body and taking her right there and then on the floor in front of his entire family.

He opened his eyes and looking down into her moss green ones he noticed that there was something different about her gaze. Something was gone, though he could not even begin to say what it was that was now missing from her normally intense gaze.

"I'm supposed to tell you to repeat after me," she said quietly her voice shaking slightly.

"What's goin' on?" Raphael asked in confusion.

Nightmare continued to touch his cheek, her fingers exploring the textured skin of his face, as if she had never felt anything like it before.

"My name is Katherine," she replied softly. "I don't really know what's going on, but...I...I was told that I had to get you to repeat after me so that I can make sure you remain as you are."

Raphael frowned as he stared down at Katherine, who was leaning forward as if fascinated by him. She licked her lips nervously and that slight movement of her tongue momentarily distracted him.

"How did she...?" he asked as he leaned down again, his lips finding hers in an earth shattering kiss that left him breathless. He buried his hands into her glorious golden-russet and copper locks.

She reluctantly pulled away. "I don't know. She just told me what I had to do and then here I was, kissing you." She paused reaching up and placing her other hand on his other cheek. "I was trapped, and I didn't understand what was going on, but when Nightmare realized that she wasn't me and remembered who she was, it was like I was somehow free again. I couldn't control my body, but at least I understood what was going on, and she talks to me. Sometimes I can even feel what she feels. She loves you...the other version of you, I mean," she put in hastily. "She loves Donatello as well, all of his brothers actually, but it is...different. No less strong, no less real or intense, but somehow, not the same," she told him quickly as if knowing that their time was short.

"What does Nightmare want me to say?" Raphael asked as he brushed the softness of her cheek with his thumb. "And why?"

"I don't quite understand everything, only there is a darkness in you that she doesn't want to get out. So she wants you and me to be...bound together."

"Bound huh?" Raphael said as he pressed himself in closer to her, the heat from her body searing his flesh through his clothes. "Doesn't sound so bad," he whispered huskily, his voice low, gravelly and suggestive.

She bit her lip in nervousness. "I don't know if what I feel right now...if it's real or if it's her," she said quietly, a slight tremor in her voice betraying her worries. "But..."

"Yeah, I don't know if it is just whatever Donny did to me, or if this is somethin' else, but...this feels so...right," he said as he brushed his cheek along her un-injured one.

"Repeat after me; 'I swear to protect you with my life, until such a time as my protection is no longer needed'," she whispered as he repeated the words. "And I swear to release you, should you ever ask," she said to him as the whisper of something rode across his skin.

He looked over his shoulder, wondering if any of his family had sensed anything out of the ordinary.

Donatello was discussing weapons and a plan to get into the Shredder's hideout undetected while the rest of his family sat around the couch listening intently.

Raphael looked back at Katherine. " So...now what?" he asked curiously.

"She says that you are now my Familiar."

Raphael nearly stumbled back in horror. He did not want to be like Donatello. He was no one's slave. His lips pulled away from his lips in a low growl.

She pulled him closer and he allowed her. "She says that it's okay." She tipped her head to the side in thought, much like Nightmare did. "I can feel you," she whispered breathlessly. "Like you are at the end of a short, tight string." She looked at him, a hint of fear and wonder in her voice. "Kiss me goodbye," she whispered as Raphael had no choice but to comply with her order. His lips claiming hers in a tender, exploratory kiss. Raphael savoured their kiss as her tongue tentatively explored his mouth.

She finally pulled away. Raphael opened his eyes and looked at Nightmare, because he knew it was her. His pull towards her was no less diminished by Katherine's retreat, in fact he felt just as strongly about Nightmare as he did about Katherine.

Nightmare frowned deeply. "I had thought that...that I would not feel drawn to you anymore, but..." She brushed her cheek across his own. "I still am. It doesn't seem possible, but...Katherine's soul is pulsing at the same time as mine, we are in synch. Our souls are singing the same song, but in a slightly different key." She said softly, resting her head upon his shoulder. "But her soul is also singing another song. It is impossible and yet...I can feel it."

Raphael clutched Nightmare closer. "Do I love her?" he asked quietly, still unsure about why he felt the way he did.

Nightmare searched his eyes. "Yes," she stated quietly. "A Familiar almost never loves the one they are bound to, so you do not have to worry about your bond making you feel this way. You love her because you are Soul Called."

Raphael frowned. "What's that?" he asked in confusion.

"The moment we looked into each other's eyes, her soul called out, and yours answered. Being Soul Rung is like both souls playing the exact same song. Their hearts beat as one, they breathe as one. A single soul inhabiting two bodies. Being Soul Called is like two souls playing a duet, different parts to the same song completing it and making it whole. Your hearts will not beat as one and you will not breathe as one, the love is just as strong and intense, but it is a call, if one of you dies, you will not drag the other down with you in death. The survivor will never be able to move on, will never love another, but will be able to accept the grief of that loss, unlike my Raphael who could not. He should not have survived the night that Katherine was killed, but he did, and it drove him into a despair so deep, that not even the prospect of death gave him any comfort."

Raphael clutched her to him tightly, knowing that if he lost the woman he held in his arms, that he would go mad from the grief. He felt as if he should never let go, could never let go, because if he did, he would feel empty, and so very lost. "When you leave, I'll feel like a part of me is missing, won't I?" he asked, knowing that Nightmare and Donatello would leave this world when they had found their bodies, and this filled him with despair.

"Katherine will fill you will everything that you will need. I will remain as nothing more than a soft memory upon your heart," she answered back. "As you will remain a soft memory upon mine."

Raphael nodded, still confused but accepting of what she said. He was in love with Katherine, a woman he didn't even know, but felt as if he had known all his life.

Nightmare pulled back slightly. "How do you feel?"

Raphael shrugged. "I don't feel any different," he replied truthfully.

Nightmare nodded in response.

"So now what?" Raphael asked reluctantly letting Nightmare go as she stepped back.

Nightmare gave Raphael a reassuring smile. "We go and say 'hello' to the Shredder. Come on, Donatello is trying to wage a war, and we do not need anything so complicated."

Raphael snorted. "Donny's smart, but Leo's better with battle tactics and strategies."

"True," Nightmare agreed. "But my Donatello, he has led armies," she said with a hint of pride in her voice. She turned her attention to his family who all sat about watching as Donatello continued to draw a diagram. "Donatello, the Shredder is expecting company, has probably been expecting it for well over a month now. We do not need anything so complicated," Nightmare said with a smile. "We will wait for nightfall, and give the Shredder what he wants."

* * *

**Leonardo** walked up to Donatello, who was watching as Raphael and Nightmare talked softly to each other. Leonardo could actually hear Donatello's teeth grinding together in jealous anger.

Raphael couldn't seem to keep his hands -or his lips for that matter- off of Nightmare, and Leonardo was positive that Donatello would have already torn Raphael apart if it had not been for her ordered command to leave her alone.

Donatello paced back and forth, walking close to them only to stop, unable to proceed any closer to the two figures.

Leonardo found this phenomenon incredibly disturbing, but was glad to speak to Donatello by himself; positive that if he could get him from beneath Nightmare's influence, that they may be able to break both Donatello and Raphael free of whatever hold she had over them.

"I know you think she loves you, Donny, but she doesn't," Leonardo observed softly.

Donatello looked over at him, the red light in his eyes prominent for a moment before vanishing. "You're supposed to be resting on the couch," Donatello growled, ignoring Leonardo's observation.

"I can rest later," Leonardo stated firmly. He glanced towards the kitchen, where Master Splinter and Michelangelo were preparing lunch.

Donatello let out an irritated huff of air. "Leo, go sit down before you fall down," he insisted, guiding Leonardo towards the couch.

Leonardo reluctantly sat, down on the couch, Donatello's gaze straying back to Nightmare and Raphael.

"If she loved you, she wouldn't be all over Raphael like she is," Leonardo observed again. Donatello glanced back at Leonardo. "We can help you, Donny. I know we can, if you'd just let us."

Donatello gave him a lopsided smile. "I know what you are doing, Leo, and it isn't going to work."

"I'm just telling you the truth. I am trying to make you see that you are nothing but a...a pet. She doesn't care about you; doesn't love you."

Donatello chuckled. "She loves me, Leo. I may not like to share, but I realized long ago that if I wanted to be with her, I would have to accept the fact that I am not the only one in her heart, or her bed."

Leonardo felt his eye ridges raise in shock. He closed his mouth shut with a snap as he stared uncomprehendingly at his brother's counterpart. "H-her bed?" he stammered, his cheeks feeling warm as a blush rose up in them.

Donatello grinned broadly at him as if it amused him to watch Leonardo squirm at the thought of the physical relationship Nightmare and Donatello shared.

"I currently share her with three other...males, at the moment; a number that will no doubt double." Donatello informed him, and Leonardo could feel his cheeks turn darker at Donatello's suggestive smile. He didn't want to think of the logistics of such an arrangement, let alone accept the fact that Donatello did not seem to mind it.

"Donny," he tried again. "If she loved you she wouldn't-"

Donatello cut him off. "Nightmare is what she is. If I want to be a part of her life, I need to accept it on her terms." Donatello studied Leonardo. "So although I do not _like_ the fact that Raphael is touching her, it is more so because it is not my _actual _brother who is doing so, but _your_ brother, instead.

Leonardo let out an irritated breath, realizing that there was nothing he could say to convince Donatello of anything. His gaze shifted again to his sword, wondering if he could just kill Nightmare, but accepting the fact that if he did so, Donatello would die as well, thus killing his own Donatello.

"So how did your Shredder die?" Leonardo asked, changing his line of thought. Leonardo relished the thought of a world without their hated enemy in it. He wouldn't admit it, but he wished that he had the resolve and bloodthirsty conviction to be able to kill the Shredder. But he never wanted to stoop to the Shredder's level by meting out that final justice which he knew the Shredder so deserved.

Donatello lost his grin, his face becoming grim. "I didn't say he was dead."

Leonardo frowned. "I thought you said-"

"I said that I hoped his fate is better than that of our Shredder," Donatello informed him softly. "There are much worse fates than death."

"What was the Shredder's fate?" he asked, curiosity aroused. If Leonardo did not have to kill the Shredder -if there was some way to incapacitate him somehow without killing him- Leonardo would be very much interested in such a solution.

"You don't want to know," Donatello said almost tiredly.

"I want to know if there is some way we can get rid of our Shredder without killing him," he insisted.

"Kill him, it would be a mercy compared to what happened to our Shredder."

"Donny." Leonardo reached out and clutched Donatello's shoulder.

Donatello looked at Leonardo in the eyes and sighed, shrugging off Leonardo's hand. "Our Shredder constructed a Devil's Trap, a circle that would be able to summon and hold the Devil."

"Who would even...why would anyone want to summon the Devil himself...herself?" Leonardo corrected, his voice filled with shocked horror. "I didn't think such a thing was even possible."

"I didn't either," Donatello admitted. "But humans are stupid and believe that they are smarter and more powerful than they really are. Our Shredder had access to powerful mystics, and he found a way." Donatello looked at him seriously. "Never make a deal with the Devil. It never turns out well. The Shredder learned that the hard way."

Leonardo swallowed. "What happened to him?" he asked, his voice shaking.

"In exchange for his soul, he asked for death to be unable to touch him. He believed he had asked for immortality, but in reality he only asked to not be able to die. Not being able to die just means you don't die, it doesn't mean that you can heal or are invulnerable, or that you will never grow old. The Shredder also mistakenly believed that if he couldn't die, that the Devil could not take his soul. He was wrong. By becoming 'immortal' he became in-human, his soul no longer subject to the rules that govern Heaven and Hell. The Devil can't take a living human to Hell, and she can't kill so that she can drag them to Hell either. It is against the Rules. But an immortal is fair game and so a demon tore the Shredder limb from limb, threw the pieces of his still living, agonized body into a sack, and had it thrown into the very deepest pit of Hell."

Leonardo felt himself pale in horror, spots beginning to dance in front of his eyes. "I..." He didn't even know what to say. "Did you make a deal, is that why the Devil has your brothers?" Leonardo asked, wondering if that was why Donatello knew so much about the Devil.

"No," Donatello shook his head as he stood.

"Then why?" he asked trying to stand, Donatello only turning back and gently pushing him back onto the couch cushion.

"Lunch time!" Michelangelo said as he and Master Splinter walked into the room with a tray of sandwiches and tea, effectively ending his and Donatello's conversation.

Both Donatello and Nightmare looked at the tray with something akin to disgust. They both politely declined to eat. Raphael ate as if he was starving, while Master Splinter, Michelangelo, and himself only nibbled at their food, too worried to eat.

Leonardo took a deep breath, calming breath hoping that the Shredder did indeed have Donatello's body, and that they would be able to get it back so that they could get their own Donatello back. Because the sooner his brother's doppelganger and Nightmare left, the better Leonardo would feel.

* * *

**Things are about to get interesting I think;) Thoughts and opinions always welcome:)**


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